Toddlers and Pets

One of my best friends has a 3 yr. old who is starting to go on playdates. When my friend drops her DS off, she asks if the family has any pets. Recently, one mom said she had a dog (don't remember the kind) and my friend delicately asked her to keep the dog in a separtate room, away from the kids. I know my friend very well and I'm sure she was polite when asking. Do you think this was a good idea?

Re: Toddlers and Pets

I don't think that it is necessarily a bad idea, but as a mom with a toddler and a dog, I can tell you that I probably wouldn't do it. My dog is part of my family and this is her house too.

If someone was that uncomfortable, I would suggest a playdate out somewhere together - or I would offer to drop DD off to them

IMO the mom of the child with the dog is doing your friend a favor by watching her child.

I also think that it is good for kids who don't have pets to be exposed to them (provided they aren't allergic or something). My BF growing up didn't have any pets and was afraid of them because of that.

In addition, I think that it is the responsibility of the pet owner to know their pet and act accordingly. Maybe your friend could set up a playdate and attend the first time to see how the dog interacts with the child.

Re: Toddlers and Pets

Posted by cutie

I don't think that it is necessarily a bad idea, but as a mom with a toddler and a dog, I can tell you that I probably wouldn't do it. My dog is part of my family and this is her house too.

If someone was that uncomfortable, I would suggest a playdate out somewhere together - or I would offer to drop DD off to them

IMO the mom of the child with the dog is doing your friend a favor by watching her child.

I also think that it is good for kids who don't have pets to be exposed to them (provided they aren't allergic or something). My BF growing up didn't have any pets and was afraid of them because of that.

In addition, I think that it is the responsibility of the pet owner to know their pet and act accordingly. Maybe your friend could set up a playdate and attend the first time to see how the dog interacts with the child.

Re: Toddlers and Pets

I probably would keep the dog separate. I have cats and am about to have a baby. I love my cats dearly, but I don't want them near the baby, and when I've had other children over (toddlers), I've kept the cats in another room. It's for their safety as well as the children's.

They are my pets, and I consider them a part of my family, but when it comes down to it, they are animals, and the safety and comfort of a small child is more important to me.

Re: Toddlers and Pets

I think it really depends upon the type of pet, and its history, and if the child has allergies. If the dog was a toy french poodle, I would think the mom might be over reacting a bit, but if it was a 200 lb bull mastiff that was bigger than the child, I can sort of see the mom's POV.

Re: Toddlers and Pets

Posted by cutie

I don't think that it is necessarily a bad idea, but as a mom with a toddler and a dog, I can tell you that I probably wouldn't do it. My dog is part of my family and this is her house too.

If someone was that uncomfortable, I would suggest a playdate out somewhere together - or I would offer to drop DD off to them

IMO the mom of the child with the dog is doing your friend a favor by watching her child.

I also think that it is good for kids who don't have pets to be exposed to them (provided they aren't allergic or something). My BF growing up didn't have any pets and was afraid of them because of that.

In addition, I think that it is the responsibility of the pet owner to know their pet and act accordingly. Maybe your friend could set up a playdate and attend the first time to see how the dog interacts with the child.

Message edited 6/10/2009 11:39:05 PM.

Re: Toddlers and Pets

Re: Toddlers and Pets

I think it is fine to ask. I plan to keep my dog away from play dates but he is very friendly, so I hope to introduce him when the mom and child ask to see him.

My dog is very good about being gated into another room. If he barked or cried the whole time, I would not have the heart to do this but I would understand the concern.

Breed does not matter. Lots of little dogs can really terrorize kids.

ETA: Taking a pet out of the room rarely helps with allergies. I'm allergic to cats and I will react whether the cat is in the room and even if the person cleans everything before I show up.

Message edited 6/14/2009 9:43:28 PM.

Re: Toddlers and Pets

I honestly think it is over the top. If your child has a problem with pets, don't drop your child off for a playdate at someones home who has them. Pets are a part of the family. No one should have to essentially punish their dog for being in their own house.

Re: Toddlers and Pets

If it was a concern to me, I would ask when the playdate was scheduled, before I dropped them off. It if bothered me that much I would have the playdate at my house. As an owner of two dogs, it wouldn't bother me if someone asked me, but I don't have gates to close off the dogs, if the weather is good, I could leave them outside, but sometimes it not always possible to make sure they stay apart.

Re: Toddlers and Pets

I don't really take issue with it.
Some people are afraid of dogs or their kids are afraid of dogs and if the request were made of me, I would have no problem obliging them.
My SIL's kids do not have a lot of exposure to dogs and although they aren't allergic, they do act weird around Misty. I have learned to just crate Misty when they are around to avoid any issues. It's easier and safer for everyone...and there are no hard feelings.

Re: Toddlers and Pets

I think she should have that conversation before accepting the playdate & if the pet is an issue (allergy), have the playdate at her house.

She should put the issue right out there...
"Jane is afraid of dogs, so it could be a problem."
"I had a friend who's toddler was attacked by a family dog, so I'm concerned."
"I have this huge fear of dogs."

Actually I do know someone who had an infant attacked by a family dog - one who never attacked anyone else so it is a valid concern.

Most playdates my kids go on, the moms volunteer they have a dog to check if it's a problem. Personally I'm more concerned with pools.