Introducing myself

Just saw this board and figured it might come in handy now that I'm a stepmama and soon to be first time mama to a

Quick background:
I have been with DH for about 1 &1/2 yrs, we were married in June, and expecting a in 5 days! We met at work. He's 41 and im 25

My DH has a fantastic 11yo son - he's really a great kid and I love him to death. My DH was never married to SS's BM - they were engaged, she cheated and DH broke it off. TWO WEEKS later found out she was preggo and took her back. This is the type of man my DH is - has the BIGGEST heart. He knew the baby might not be his, but he had to take the chance. Well, the baby was his and my DH stayed in the "relationship" with her for the sake of his son. By relationship I mean they lived together, thats about it. That ended about 2 yrs ago. My SS lives about 1 hour upstate with his BM, she moved him there last yr out of selfishness. SS hates it and wants to live with us. His BM is mentally unstable (clinical depression for which she REFUSES to take meds, and is just miserble in general). I feel for this kid because she takes everything out on him. Im afraid shes going to screw him up.

Anyway, with the new coming in SURE I'll have lots of questions about how to deal with step-parenting issues, and I appreciate any and all feedback!!

So that's about it for now -- thanks for reading!

Re: Introducing myself

Welcome to the step-parenting board and congratulations on your upcoming arrival!!

I have a two year old son, and two-great steps sons, 12 and almost 10. (And a very difficult BM!!)

Re: Introducing myself

Hey! Im new to LIF and a stepmother as well! Hopefully this board will give us some help and support!

Re: Introducing myself

welcome to the board and congrats on your

This board can def. give some advice and support.

Re: Introducing myself

thanks!!

Re: Introducing myself

Hi Karin's Sis!!

Welcome! I had no idea that you are a SS. You will find this board very helpfull.

I'm in the exact same situation as you with a few exceptions. SS lived with BM until he was 8. BM had a drug problem so custody was awarded to DH.
DH has had him ever since but in our case, SS would rather live with BM.

Re: Introducing myself

Glad to see more posters on this board!! We're a small group, but we're supportive of one another!!

We actually have a lot of similarities:
Both step-moms
Same age difference
And we met at work too

I have a 12 y/o step-daughter, she's with us every weekend.

Re: Introducing myself

Hi! I have 5 year old SS. We have him Sundays to Mondays most weekends, and lots of school vacations, holidays, etc. so we actually get to spend a lot of time with him.

If your SS is already 11 and exhibiting a clear desire to live with you, he is getting to an age where the court might just have him live where he wants. I remember doing research a few months ago and the courts seem to feel that 12-13 year olds have enough sense to figure out which parents they want to live with. Just thought I would throw this out there.

Feel free to ask us all of your questions! We also like to hear funny BM stories!

Re: Introducing myself

thankyou for all the responses!! Im glad to see so many Mamas in a similar situation!

I tell my DH all the time that he should have a talk with SS, explaining that if he really wants to be with us then it could very well be a possibility. The problem is SS is afraid of BM. She yells and screams and he has learned to cope by appeasing her. Dh feels SS would NEVER go against her. I feel like as soon as hes a little bigger (physically) he's eventually going to stop appeasing her, and start standing up to her. I guess only time will tell!


BM is just a nut - she took my DH to court for structured child support/custody/paternity- and then AFTER reneg'd and decided mediation was ok. Now she constantly holds it over his head that if he doesnt comply with HER wishes shell go back on the mediation and take him to court again! All of this and DH ALWAYS provided for SS, was easygoing on split custody, and they already KNEW SS was DHs (the guys she cheated with was another race). Shes just looooney

Re: Introducing myself

Re: Introducing myself

Hi! Welcome! Congrats on your upcoming new arrival

I have the same age difference with my DH (well, a few years more ) He has a 19yr ols and a 17yr old we have been together 8yrs and just celebrated our 3rd anniversary yesterday

Re: Introducing myself

Posted by sweetsurprise09

thankyou for all the responses!! Im glad to see so many Mamas in a similar situation!

I tell my DH all the time that he should have a talk with SS, explaining that if he really wants to be with us then it could very well be a possibility. The problem is SS is afraid of BM. She yells and screams and he has learned to cope by appeasing her. Dh feels SS would NEVER go against her. I feel like as soon as hes a little bigger (physically) he's eventually going to stop appeasing her, and start standing up to her. I guess only time will tell!


BM is just a nut - she took my DH to court for structured child support/custody/paternity- and then AFTER reneg'd and decided mediation was ok. Now she constantly holds it over his head that if he doesnt comply with HER wishes shell go back on the mediation and take him to court again! All of this and DH ALWAYS provided for SS, was easygoing on split custody, and they already KNEW SS was DHs (the guys she cheated with was another race). Shes just looooney

Re: Introducing myself

Welcome aboard and congrats on your !!!!

Quickie on me...I am a stepmom to a SD who is almost 12, I have been in her life since she was 4 months old ( DH was not married to the BM) ...

Due to some parental alienation issues with the BM , my SD stopped visiting when she was 8 and just as of this past March we have started to see her again ...Although not on a regular visitation schedule anymore, we are taking advantage of every opportunity we can to see her !

I also have a DS who is almost 4 and a DD who is 8 months

Re: Introducing myself

welcome n congrats -

i have a 10 yr old SS who i've been with since 2003 - dh and i have been together since 2002 dh and i have a 22 month old son together too, and the boys adore one another

we were ncp for a while with every other weekend and holiday and every summer, but we were just awarded temp custody in april due to BMs issues...

stepmothering's been fun

we'll have lots to discuss...welcome again

Message edited 9/11/2009 6:05:12 AM.

Re: Introducing myself

Hi, Welcome to the Board!!

I'm on here from time to time, not TOO often. :) I am married for 15 months, been with DH since 2000. I have two SK: SS 16, SD 14.

Hope to chat with you soon!

Re: Introducing myself

Welcome!! I'm not around that much... just from time to time!! I am also a SM to 3 great kids: almost 5 yo SD, 7 yo SS and almost 9 yo SS. They are such sweet and loving kids. DH and I have them every other weekend. BM is a biotch and there are times that I wish she would fall into a well so that we could have the kids full time. DH and I have been married for 2 years this coming Monday, have a DD who is 11 months old and another DD on the way, due Christmas Day!! Talk about a busy family! Best wishes to you!!