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lilqtny
-Crossfit & pitbull addict
Member since 7/06 2830 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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How to dealllll UPDATE: ADVICE NEEDED
Found out a student, that I really like, is being abused by her uncle. She may be pregnant, possibly his child, and feels like she is alone in the world. I have been on her case to turn in assignments, wear uniform, and quiet down in class. She left the building today and I was told authorities were called but I have no answers as to if she got help.
I am a wreck. I can't stand myself for yelling at this poor girl. I won't have answers until Tuesday and I am not sure if I can wait that long.
UPDATE:
Okay. SHe wasn't in school today. ACS told the school there wasn't enough informaiton to warrant a home visit. Now what? As I said, she did't tell me. I can call and give a second hand account, will that do anything? what should I do?
Message edited 10/13/2009 6:24:25 PM.
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Posted 10/9/09 9:45 PM  |
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JoesWife628
Our family is complete :)
Member since 8/08 3934 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How to dealllll
OMG!!!! That is so terrible!!! I know it's easier said than done, but you can't have guilt over something you were unaware of. I had a similar experience last year (with feeling guilty). I had a student who wasn't turning in hws, frequently inattentive, and just not on the ball (11th grade). I kept asking her where her hw was, why she's so off task, blah blah blah...turns out her mom was home with stage 4 breast cancer fighting for her life. My heart broke. As for your student, it shows what a great teacher you are that you are racking your brain over what happened. Try not to be too hard on yourself. I hope all is well with this girl. Please keep us posted. 
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| Posted 10/9/09 10:33 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: How to dealllll
How old is she?
Did you speak with her Guidance Counselor?
Depending on her age, this may very well be a CPS case.
In any event, it should be brought to the attention of legal authorites...I would speak with your GC or your AP/Principal ASAP
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| Posted 10/9/09 10:48 PM |
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lilqtny
-Crossfit & pitbull addict
Member since 7/06 2830 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: How to dealllll
She didn't tell me directly, she told another teacher on our team. That teacher told the Guidance and AP. I am just worried because this was 3 pm on a Friday. How fast can they get her help at that point?
Grrr there goes the nice long weekend. It is now a weekend of worrying and crying. I can't. Sometimes I just think I am not cut out to be here.
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| Posted 10/10/09 7:45 AM |
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mathteach
Roll Tide!
Member since 8/08 3169 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: How to dealllll
Don't beat yourself up. You exhibited that you cared about her and expected her to follow rules. Trust me, no other adult in her life is doing that for her.
I once was responsible for having a student and her sister removed from her mother's care. To this day, I feel guilty for not be lax with her in the days leading up to the removal (no one knew what was going on at the time) She always tells me that she liked being treated like a normal kid in my class. It made her feel more normal.
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| Posted 10/10/09 11:25 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to dealllll
Try not to worry. If the girl told a teacher who told an AP, then I'm sure they called CPS or the other proper authorities if the student is being sexually assaulted. CPS is available day and night, weekends and holidays, and they are mandated to go investigate and help the child within hours. It'll be so difficult for the poor girl, but I bet she is on her way to getting out of that horrendous situation. 
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| Posted 10/10/09 11:55 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: How to dealllll
If they called it in CPS or police will go on the weekend
Don't beat youself up YOU are trying to help her 
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| Posted 10/10/09 2:40 PM |
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donegal419
St. Gerard, pray for us.
Member since 7/07 7650 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: How to dealllll
also, they've changed the law now---now they want teachers themselves to call- preferably over adminsitrastors. you and your colleague are mandated reporters. i would call and report the case. even thougrh you told your principal and guidance counselor, as far as i know, the teacher whom she told is mandated to call CPS.
perhaps any social workers on here can elaborate, but this is how it was presented to staff at my school. we tell the guidance counselor, principal, etc. but we call it in.
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| Posted 10/10/09 6:22 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to dealllll
Posted by donegal419
also, they've changed the law now---now they want teachers themselves to call- preferably over adminsitrastors. you and your colleague are mandated reporters. i would call and report the case. even thougrh you told your principal and guidance counselor, as far as i know, the teacher whom she told is mandated to call CPS.
perhaps any social workers on here can elaborate, but this is how it was presented to staff at my school. we tell the guidance counselor, principal, etc. but we call it in.
School psych here. Yes, we are ALL mandated reporters. I know in some schools, administrators want to be informed and to be the ones to make the call to CPS, but technically, we do not need "permission" from an administrator to call CPS. Rather, the burden is upon us to call regardless of any directive otherwise. Like for example, if you reported the situation to your principal and you knew or suspected that the child was being abused or neglected, and if the principal said NOT to call it in, you MUST defy your principal and call it in yourself.
Now, not everyone who becomes aware of the situation needs to call in on the same issue, but the staff member who was either told directly or directly interviewed the student would typically be the one to report it. In my school, it is usually myself or the social worker. As long as you know that someone definitely reported the case to CPS, you are covered. If you are unsure, you could call it in yourself just to be safe. You can also make an anonymous call as a member of the public (not as a school staff member). no harm in that.
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| Posted 10/10/09 8:37 PM |
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lilqtny
-Crossfit & pitbull addict
Member since 7/06 2830 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: How to dealllll
Thanks for all of the replies. I do not think I am going to call but I suggested my co worker call. She was told first hand. I only know because of her. The girl is in my homeroom. I care about her immensely. She is wonderful. I am so sad. I am just heartbroken over this. Nobody seems to understand why I am so upset, outside of the teaching profession that is, and I can't explain it well enough. I just want to adopt her and give her what she deserves. These are the situations that make me want to walk away. I know I am helping, but I can't physicallly handle this type of pain and it is happening all too often.
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| Posted 10/10/09 9:13 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to dealllll
Posted by lilqtny
Thanks for all of the replies. I do not think I am going to call but I suggested my co worker call. She was told first hand. I only know because of her. The girl is in my homeroom. I care about her immensely. She is wonderful. I am so sad. I am just heartbroken over this. Nobody seems to understand why I am so upset, outside of the teaching profession that is, and I can't explain it well enough. I just want to adopt her and give her what she deserves. These are the situations that make me want to walk away. I know I am helping, but I can't physicallly handle this type of pain and it is happening all too often.
I totally get how you feel. I encounter so many horrible, heartbreaking stories. It truly shakes you to the core. But don't walk away from the profession - you are the perfect person to be a teacher because you truly care about your kids! I think that the key is to be able to both feel the pain and also to distance yourself from it so that you can continue to do your job and be strong for your students. It's like a doctor who needs to give a kid a shot. They need to do it and not give into the kid's pain and cries - because they know it is in the best interest of the child. Personally, I find that talking with my coworkers about the situation and getting out my feelings there helps me cope and leave it at work.
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| Posted 10/10/09 9:41 PM |
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lilqtny
-Crossfit & pitbull addict
Member since 7/06 2830 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: How to dealllll UPDATE: ADVICE NEEDED
UPDATE!
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| Posted 10/13/09 6:27 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to dealllll UPDATE: ADVICE NEEDED
Ugh, that stinks. Do you know what exactly she divulged, if anything, and what was reported to ACS? How do you know what you know? You could call it in, but honestly, if you did not witness it or you were not told directly, I think they are unlikely to take the case.
Message edited 10/14/2009 7:50:28 PM.
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| Posted 10/14/09 7:50 PM |
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