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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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We ARE a family
Does anyone else find it odd to hear "have kids" referred to as "start a family?" It's a common phrase, and I get what it means, but... We already ARE a family. Even the blurb under Parenting says "for those who are thinking about or already have a FAMILY." Ironic that LIFamilies has a childless families board and that description under Parenting.  Am I the only one who considers me + DH a family already? 
And, no, I'm not "offended" by it. I get that it's a figure of speech... But couples already ARE a family - and those couples with children were a family before the kids. The kids just added to the family, IMHO. Well, not "just" - kids are a spectacular addition to the family, of course. 
Just something I noticed when reading the board descriptions today.
Discuss. I'm open to the fact that some of us childless folks may feel differently, but I strongly believe we ARE a family. A family of 2, but a family nonetheless. 
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Posted 9/28/09 7:38 PM  |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: We ARE a family
I agree with you - a family does not need to include children. Just like a home does not have to be a house.
It doesn't bother me unless people are using it to exclude couples. For instance, I participate on a Disney forum and there was a small bru-ha-ha when they shut down all the night clubs on Pleasure Island. I can not tell you many times I wrote or read that a husband and wife are indeed a family. 
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| Posted 9/28/09 7:56 PM |
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MrsKelly
just hangin' around...
Member since 11/06 6305 total posts
Name:
Krista
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Re: We ARE a family
i never really thought about the LIF descriptions before... but i absolutely agree with you. dh and i refer to ourselves as a family, all the time. families come in all shapes and forms and there is no "right" equation. for dh and i, ava and quinn (our dogs) are our children, for now at least, and WE are a family.
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| Posted 9/28/09 9:33 PM |
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KittyKatCopper
missing my handsome boy
Member since 3/09 1579 total posts
Name:
Kat - HamptonsBride (LIW)
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Re: We ARE a family
i do always refer to the 4 of us..DH, me & the dogs as our "happy little family"...especially when we are all snuggled together on the couch...
As far as LIF i always thought it was dumb that the "Home" section is under "Family Chat"...so what about single people who are home owners? I had my house long before DH was in my life!
The other thing that "annoys" me is how your status is "baby" related..as in you start out as a zygote, infant, etc...ugghh...enough about babies...jeez...i'd rather start out as a puppy or a tadpole or something...haha 
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| Posted 9/28/09 10:17 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: We ARE a family
Posted by Christine
I agree with you - a family does not need to include children. Just like a home does not have to be a house.
It doesn't bother me unless people are using it to exclude couples.
ITA
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| Posted 9/29/09 7:46 AM |
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imas98
Love my Furbaby
Member since 10/07 1140 total posts
Name:
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Re: We ARE a family
Posted by KittyKatCopper
As far as LIF i always thought it was dumb that the "Home" section is under "Family Chat"...so what about single people who are home owners? I had my house long before DH was in my life!
The other thing that "annoys" me is how your status is "baby" related..as in you start out as a zygote, infant, etc...ugghh...enough about babies...jeez...i'd rather start out as a puppy or a tadpole or something...haha
OMG you are SOOO right ! Never thought about it but ITA !
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| Posted 9/29/09 11:16 AM |
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anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!
Member since 7/06 10082 total posts
Name:
Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: We ARE a family
Posted by KittyKatCopper
i do always refer to the 4 of us..DH, me & the dogs as our "happy little family"...especially when we are all snuggled together on the couch...
As far as LIF i always thought it was dumb that the "Home" section is under "Family Chat"...so what about single people who are home owners? I had my house long before DH was in my life!
The other thing that "annoys" me is how your status is "baby" related..as in you start out as a zygote, infant, etc...ugghh...enough about babies...jeez...i'd rather start out as a puppy or a tadpole or something...haha
I agree. This whole site IMO is geared more towards those who follow the SCRIPT in life.
(First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Janey with the baby carraige!)
That is why I am so glad this board was created.
Because families come in all shapes and sizes...
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| Posted 9/29/09 12:45 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: We ARE a family
I like to crash your board, because I was 40 when I had my son, so had many child-free years before that. I hope you don't mind
I agree with you, Kara, and I always considered DH and I a family before having a child. I will tell you, however, that I have noticed that there are people who definitely treat us differently since we have had a child. I definitely get more phone calls and attention since having my son from certain friends or family members. I can't even really quantify all of it, but I do notice it and I find it very strange. I appreciate that they are interested in asking about my son, but part of me wants to say, "am I more important now because I am a mom?" It's definitely an odd thing.
The home/house thing is an interesting comparison. Someone actually told my husband that he was "finally a real grown up" once we bought our house. He was 47 at the time. People are wack.
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| Posted 9/30/09 11:01 AM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: We ARE a family
Posted by dpli
I like to crash your board, because I was 40 when I had my son, so had many child-free years before that. I hope you don't mind
Welcome And I agree with all the previous posters. DH and I (and the cat of course!) are a family already. A child wouldn't complete our life, just add to it.
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| Posted 9/30/09 1:11 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: We ARE a family
Posted by KittyKatCopper
i'd rather start out as a puppy or a tadpole or something...haha
That's awesome!
What I say to people that dispute what I term my family is this - is DH not a FAMILY MEMBER? If he is a part of MY family and a part of HIS family, doesn't that make he and I a family unit?
Everyone disputes that we consider our dog a part of our family. Except my Mom, she's awesome about that. She called to ask me about something else and thought to ask me how our visit to the new vet went for Brinkley. 
I think a lot of it is just the "old" way of thinking. I agree, following the trend is a good way of putting it. Some things about being childless and judged for it bothers me, but the wording here I'm not as concerned about. I think their original plan was to separate this site from LIW in purpose and that they may not have anticipated that it would become a migration for LIW'ers and popular among all people, not just breeders.
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| Posted 9/30/09 9:40 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: We ARE a family
My DH is an only child, and he alawys refers to his parents as his family. As in, "I am going to stop by & see the family" I always thought that was strange, b/c I say " my parents", b/c to me family, includes my brother, but for him it is one & the same.
But, he was right--2 people do make a family.
Even if he had 1 parent, that would still be family.
The priest who married us said something about our families giving us the space to be our own family of two. . . and maybe someday more."
I thought that was great, espec ailly the maybe. (This was a married, childless, female, Episcopal priest)
Our families don't always rember that hough! Since we don't have children, I think we are often still thought of as part of their families units, and not our own thing.
Message edited 10/1/2009 1:26:00 PM.
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| Posted 10/1/09 1:24 PM |
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LINewbie
Tigger the the Rescue!
Member since 8/08 5647 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: We ARE a family
It is a struggle, since my whole life I was told that having kids makes you a family. Just being married almost a year, it;s an adjustment to think of my hubs and I just as a family ourselves, when we have no kids. I KNOW it is true, I just can't always convince myself!
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| Posted 10/4/09 2:17 PM |
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Re: We ARE a family
I certaintly consider DH and myself a family.
When we have children we will be ADDING to our family
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| Posted 10/5/09 8:38 AM |
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NRuby515
LIF Infant
Member since 9/09 210 total posts
Name:
Nicole - NikkiR515 on LIW
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Re: We ARE a family
Posted by TotallyTrying
I certaintly consider DH and myself a family.
When we have children we will be ADDING to our family
ITA! I always refer to DH and our cat as my family. When we decide to have children I will consider that expanding, not creating, our family.
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| Posted 10/5/09 2:01 PM |
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EsquireFish
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 1259 total posts
Name:
G
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Re: We ARE a family
I agree -- I have a Stepson who only visits with us on average one day a week, and I feel like I already have a little family.
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| Posted 10/12/09 1:43 PM |
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enewedded
LIF Infant
Member since 3/09 272 total posts
Name:
Ellen
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Re: We ARE a family
I agree
i never really stopped to think about it and then one day something happen at DH work and he said it.
It really warmed my heart to hear it come from him.
His boss wanted to take time away from him and give to someone else
Boss said - well he is having a hard time and he has a family
DH said - I have a family also, it might not be as big as his but i have a wife to take care of.
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| Posted 10/14/09 4:09 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: We ARE a family
I agree, I consider us a family. Actually, when we get home from work we both say "Hi family!" to the other person and our dog!
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| Posted 10/15/09 7:50 AM |
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