I feel so Angry

I am feeling so angry to the point where I rather be feeling sad. I cant stand this feeling. I really hate the situation I am in. Everyone around me is pregnant or just had a baby. I cant stop thinking about all that has happened to me and everyone around me is acting like its no big deal. I just want to crawl into a small hole and hide from everyone.

I just found out that my future sister-in-law stopped taking birthcontrol. Why, would she even go there and talk about how she wants to have a baby and her upcoming wedding, when I just had my 2nd m/c. I feel as though everyone around me is just adding to this angry fire feeling. My wonderful mother told me there is no reason to cry all the time and that I should be nice to my little nephew rather than avoiding him this week. I was not avoiding him, I just didnt want a 2 year old to see me upset and not happy.

Can you believe this???? I am so upset I cant stop crying my eyes out. Maybe I should just avoid everyone.

How do you deal with the people around you? Does anyone have any suggestions to make this angry feeling go away? Guess its time to open a bottle of wine

Sorry for the venting but I need an outlet.

Re: I feel so Angry

Re: I feel so Angry

I'm sorry! You have every right to feel the way you do, especially having to go through this for your 2nd time!!!

It is a hard thing for people to understand or relate to if they have not gone through it themselves. I have gotten mad in the past at family for how they responded to me having my mc or the comments they said.

I think the best thing you can do ...is tell them how you feel. That you need time to heal...(which may be a few days, weeks, or months) and they need to understand that. I wouldn't avoid everyone...b/c you need people around for the support. I do think you need to sit them down and let them know how this has affected you and how u feel inside.

You have us to vent to on this board too. It is great that we have all went through this and can relate. I am here if you need to vent...even feel free to FM.

Try to relax tonight...I think having a glass of wine is a great idea.!!!! I think i might do the same and our myself some wine too...I am home myself tonight bored out of my mind.

Anyways, I am so sorry for all you are going through!!

Re: I feel so Angry

I am so sorry about how you are feeling. I think that people just don't understand what you have been through unless it has happened to them.

Re: I feel so Angry

Personally, I needed a few days to be alone (with DH). I stayed home, didn't answer the phone and avoided everyone. I felt that I needed to in order to protect myself and start to heal. I have started to go out a little more each day. I still get upset when I see a pregnant person or a family with a little baby. Then I try to think: 1-I don't this person, maybe they had trouble, maybe they had a MC and 2-One day, one day. I'm still angry b/c I feel like it should be my day. I know it's sounds selfish but we all want to have a child so badly.
In terms of family/friends saying the wrong thing, I've tried going the PC route and tell them how i feel but they continued to tell me to get over it, move on, etc etc. They don't know what it's like. With the help of DH, I've identified who I can talk to and who will be supportive. All other people, if they call, I keep the conversation short and if they "start up" with what I call "inappropriate suugestions" I just say "I'm not feeling well, I have to go." I know I can't avoid them forever and I 'm sure in time I'll be able to tolerate it but for now I need to do what's right for me. The only thing that you can do is take care of yourself. My thoughts are with you. If you ever want to talk, I'm here

Re: I feel so Angry

Thank you.

It just so unfair. SO UNFAIR!!! I wish I didnt feel this way. I dont understand why things like this happen. How can things be OK one minute and then not in another?

Women should not have to go through this. No one should have to go through this much pain. I dont even wish this upon my worst enemy.

So unfair

Re: I feel so Angry

Re: I feel so Angry

I know exactly how you feel. I avoided everyone until I was ready, thats just me. I have a SIL who's due less than a month after when I would have been, so I totally understand.

Re: I feel so Angry

Posted by Maggie22

Thank you.

It just so unfair. SO UNFAIR!!! I wish I didnt feel this way. I dont understand why things like this happen. How can things be OK one minute and then not in another?

Women should not have to go through this. No one should have to go through this much pain. I dont even wish this upon my worst enemy.

So unfair

Re: I feel so Angry

Posted by Maggie22

Thank you.

It just so unfair. SO UNFAIR!!! I wish I didnt feel this way. I dont understand why things like this happen. How can things be OK one minute and then not in another?

Women should not have to go through this. No one should have to go through this much pain. I dont even wish this upon my worst enemy.

So unfair

Re: I feel so Angry

It is perfectly natural to feel the way you do. Sometimes you just need to avoid people -- you have to look out for yourself and if interacting with your family is going to cause you distress, then just don't interact with them for now. I know that's easier said than done, but it may help you to feel better. I actually find it harder to deal with people talking about PG/babies who don't know I had a m/c than to deal with people who do know, because for the ones who do know, all I have to say is "I know you don't mean it this way but what you are saying is upsetting to me. I don't expect you to understand unless you've been through this yourself, but please don't talk to me about that right now." And people usually stop at that.

Hang in there -- people's thoughtless comments are very difficult to deal with, but things will get better over time!

Re: I feel so Angry

I am sorry you are feeling angry. I have been there, heck sometimes (its been a month since my d&c) I am still angry! People don't know what to say sometimes and I think people say certain things because they honestly think it will make you feel better. But it doesn't always work. Sometimes you don't want to get out of bed, or get dressed, or leave the house. Some days you just want to sit around and cry or scream. No one can tell you how to grieve or feel. If you don't want to do something it should be a simple answer of it's not really a good time. No one should question you. Do things you enjoy, relax and take time for yourself.

Re: I feel so Angry

I can definitely relate. At first I was just sad, but then I started to get angry because I felt like everyone around me was getting pregnant without even trying. And then some time would go by, and I'd think I was fine, and then something would happen that brings it all back. It sux.

Re: I feel so Angry

Re: I feel so Angry

I wish I had the words to make you feel better but I know that there aren't any. All I can say is I know how you feel. Allowing yourself to experience the emotions is the best you can do. No one can tell you how to feel. Don't let anyone tell you you are wrong. Even if someone else experienced a loss, everyone handles it differently. I applaud you for allowing yourself to be angry.

I already have a child and my MC was a year ago. I still feel angry when I see my friends and family having babies. I feel like I get kicked in the gut every time I hear someone I know is pregnant. I really wanted DD to have a sibling close in age and now we've been TTC for almost a year and she is 2. It's frustrating and keeps the pain from the miscarriage very raw for me.

You are not alone.