Need advice

I am 13 weeks pregnant. About 2.5 weeks ago my sister annouced that she is pregnant with her 4th. At first I found this very upsetting since she got pregnant about a month after I got engaged also. She has a bad habit of stealing my thunder.
Well during Christmas she would laugh at comments I made about my pregnancy, give me advice in a condescending way, and when I told my Uncle I was pregnant, she told him about 2 minutes later. I am VERY upset, but don't want to say anything because I know she will twist it around and make me feel worse. I am trying to ignore her so that family drama will not happen. (meanwhile I have cried everyday since christmas over this)
But now my mom is upset, saying we both have valid points, etc. Should I bring all this up to my sister even though it will probably make things worse?

Re: Need advice

I probably wouldn't. She doesn't seem like the type that would be understanding.

i'm sorry you have to go through this...my heart breaks for you

Just focus more on DH's side of the family- where she can't steal the spotlight.

Re: Need advice

I wouldn't bring it up either, esp since it's not likely that she actually planned to steal your thunder. I also would ignore her as much as I could and then when she's being condescending to you, gently remind her this is your first not your fourth and that you're allowed to feel the way you feel and her constant undermining just takes away from your experience. She should try to remember what it was like. But I do agree with PP that she's probably not the understanding type. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

Re: Need advice

I think it's all in how you look at it. Personally, I don't believe in people "stealing other's thunder". I tend to think that's our own insecurities about something that has nothing to do with the actual situation. In this case, it seems you have other issues with your sister.
A baby is a blessing, whether it's your first or fourth, and while I am more than sure that you know that, think logically, do you really think your sister is so hell-bent on making you upset that she would plan her pregnancies around your life situations? That's a hell of a lot of effort just to p-ss your sister off, kwim? I mean, really consider how silly that is. My sister got engaged a year after me and planned her wedding for less than two months before mine. I could have sulked and acted like she was stealing my thunder, but instead, we used it as a way to be even closer to each other and were able to experience it all together at the same time.
While I'm sure it's annoying that your sister can be condescending to you about your pregnancy, maybe it's more that you're perceiving it that way? It really IS nice to have someone around you who's BTDT and recently. So try to look at it more positively (even if she is a cruel, b-tch of a sister) because your outlook on it is actually more important that what her true intentions really are, anyway

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It's a tough situation because I know all of this is probably killing you on the inside. You probably feel like saying something would give you some sort of release...but I honestly don't know how much good it would do. She may not understand your point of view and it could probably result in your being even more upset..and it could even strain the relationship.

Re: Need advice

I really don't want to bring it up, but one or two people I have vented to say that I should. I was just looking for some opinions, and I am glad that people think that I am doing the right thing by not making more of it than it is.

I do want to clear up that I am not mad at her for being pregnant or stealing my thunder, I know it is not intentional, it just sucks that she happens to do it so often (I am leaving ALOT of details out). I am more upset at how her disposition has changed towards me since she has realized that she is pregnant too.

Thank you all for your advice and thoughts, I really do appreciate it.

Re: Need advice

I usually can't keep my mouth shut and would probably have to say something (even though it may not change anything)!
Sorry u r dealing with this.

Re: Need advice

If it were one of my sisters I would talk to them, but only you know your relationship with her. She might not be aware that she's doing it and your resentment will only build.

Congrats on your pregnancy - a happy and healthy 9!

Re: Need advice

I probably wouldn't say anything. Enjoy your pregnancy and ingore her.

What valid points does your mother think she has????