Am I wrong? Update

Update-

So I went home last night to a fully cooked dinner- which rarely happens and made it difficult to stay pisssed. Especially when he laughs at my bad moods.

BUT- I did tell him that he had to pick a day to go out- either Friday night for his friend's bday or sunday for the game. He picked Friday and didn't give me a problem (shockingly). I also told him he's on a budget for the night.

So, that was easy- we'll see what happens when the weekend actually gets here.

I hate when I just WANT to be angry and yell and scream and he goes and acts like the perfect husband. Ugh.

At least he didn't argue though.

Message edited 1/19/2010 9:31:26 AM.

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

You are not wrong. Your DH isn't being very considerate. My DH was more like that the first time I was pregnant, so I can relate. He still has selfish moments this time around, but not so bad. I think you really need to talk to your DH and set some ground rules. It is not fair for him to be going out so much and if you let it go now, you're going to be left at home alone with a baby A LOT! Nip this in the bud now!

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

I would be very annoyed if my DH went out numerous nights on the weekends. One night is fine, but 2 or 3 nights is a bit much. Especially because you obv don't want to go out that much during the weekends while pregnant. I would just tell him it's too many nights and have him pick which night he wants to go out. than plan something to do with him the other night- like go to the movies, out to dinner, rent a movie and cook at home, work on baby stuff, etc.

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

I would be pi$$ed in that were my DH. I'd tell him it is time to grow up and realize it isn't about what he wants to do anymore.

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

fri-sun we plan stuff together. so if one of us doesnt want to go we both dont go...unless its something important.

if its important...and say i dont want to go...he goes (vice versa).

we try to discuss before-hand what time we'll probably be leaving.

although on sundays i have classes 9-5 so my dh has "free time" to do whatever...so it might be a little different.

i would sit down & talk w/him about the $/house stuff/how u feel etc.

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

He is being inconsiderate and I am sure he doesn't see it that way. My DH would say things like..."well I came home early from the HH so we could spend time together so tonight I wanna go out to XYZ" as if he was doing me a favor.

From what I have learned this is about being selfish, imaturity and responsibility.

You seem like the type of wife who doesn't mind his outings but he has to learn he cannot abuse your niceness. You didn't sign up for this PG by yourself and since you are PG it doesn't mean you have to be the responsible one while he sews his party oats. Don't listen to those people that say let him do it while he can.

Make it clear that you understand his current wants and that the future will bring big change for the both of you. Let him know you are not against his wants but you really need him to make you/baby/house a priority for at least one day in the weekend.

I am sure he will understand he just needs direction. Unfortunately we as wives act like mothers as much as we do wives

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

I agree that it's selfish, inconsiderate, and immature. He's not a 21 year old bachelor anymore. Regardless of whether you're pregnant, he shouldn't be going out that often by himself and ditching you when you do go out together. You're now a team and if you feel like leaving, he should assume that you're leaving together unless you offer up him staying first. And the same goes for if he wants to leave somewhere and you want to stay.

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

My DH is the same way...He'll go out at 7 or 8 and stay out for the entire night. I don't mind when he does it during the week b/c I am sleeping anyway, but if this was a pattern for the weekends, I'd be livid. Lately, I give him one night with his friends and then he doesn't want to go out again after that for a few days anyway. He also knows that I will not go to a crowded place unless I am guaranteed a seat. He has no problem with me leaving early or will leave with me sometimes, but he does get annoyed if I rather stay home. I choose my battles though b/c I know things will change drastically when the baby arrives. GL!!

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

I would be ******. He needs to stay home more and be more sensitive to your feels and know that you can't stay out like you use to. Tell him he needs to get his act together. Needs a swift kick in the you know what.

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

I agree with all the previous posters, I would be furious with DH if he did this. It does seem like very selfish behavior and I agree with a PP who said it needs to be nipped in the bud. It's unfair of him to blame this on your 'crankiness', you seem to be a lot more laid back about it than I would ever be and you have every right to be mad.

Good luck

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

Posted by nicrae

I would be pi$$ed in that were my DH. I'd tell him it is time to grow up and realize it isn't about what he wants to do anymore.

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

idk how you guys were before you got preg. I dont think that you are wrong whatsoever. he is married to you not his friends. your having his baby not his friends. i think asking him to pick a night instead of every night is not bad.
i mean is this something he plans on cont, to do once the baby is born??

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

You are not wrong at all. He is being selfish and worrying about his needs before yours. Being preggo is not easy! And you need to save money, and $50 a pop is not good. I would limit him to one night a week. If you go and want to leave, he should leave.

Re: Am I wrong? Partly a vent- long (as usual...lol)

I agree with the PP's...IMO he is being completely selfish. You are pregnant and he is lucky you are even willing to go out that much in the first place. He needs to get his priorities in straight, what if he thinks he can still go out all the time like this when the baby comes? He needs a good reality check!!!! Good luck!

Re: Am I wrong? Update

update

Re: Am I wrong? Update

glad you guys worked it out!