Teacher moms...or moms who work with kids

I've always been very sympathetic towards kids with problems...even before I ever became a teacher.

But now that I'm a mom...I feel ten times more connected. Has this happened to anyone else?

Case in point, I have a 2nd grader whom I've known since last year (I teach music and see everyone 1-5 grades). I knew he had emotional problems- cries at the drop of a hat, gets instantly frustrated and can't even form a sentence without hyperventilating. I've dealt with it before many times in the past...

But today, I felt like crying with him. I was so worried about him and even now I have tears in my eyes thinking about it. The poor kid...he knows he has a problem. When he could finally speak he said "I know I put too much pressure on myself."

And it's interesting- last night the movie Parenthood was on, and the whole thing with Kevin (Steve Martin's son) with the emotional problems was even affecting me. This kid reminds me of him, but much much worse.

It's so hard not to put your own child in their place now. What if they had a problem like that? I just hurt so much for this kid...

I dunno, I guess I just had to share. But I think I feel like this in general- I can't even watch shows/movies or hear stories about unfortunate things happening to kids. It's just too hard for me to take.

Anyone else?

Re: Teacher moms...or moms who work with kids

I taught high school, so it's a little different, but the girls I taught would really affect me, and I would get VERY emotionally invested. Especially girls who were having problems in their personal lives or came from bad home situations I also taught several 15-18 year olds who were pregnant and that was difficult to deal with. As a parent of girls, I couldn't help thinking "What if it were my daughter?" and also getting very involved in what they were going through.

As a teacher, I think it's very hard to spend all this time with these kids and then somehow be disconnected from the difficulties they are facing. For anyone with a heart, especially as a parent, it can be heartbreaking.

Re: Teacher moms...or moms who work with kids

oh god yes. I have had my share of problems with DS (health and minor developmental)...and I always say that it's alot different when you can actually sit across the table from a parent and truly know what they are feeling when you are telling them something about their child that they might not want to hear. I am alot more careful about how I go about approaching topics with parents, and to be honest, I feel like I think about it ALOT more bc I constantly put myself in that parents position.

Re: Teacher moms...or moms who work with kids

I was always a "nuturer" in the classroom but now, OMG, I want to take them all home with me.

Re: Teacher moms...or moms who work with kids

Re: Teacher moms...or moms who work with kids

I work with some kids who have many disabilities and needs. Being a parent has made me a better therapist. In every IEP meeting, during every conference, during every assessment I always put myself in that parent's shoes. I always try to keep in mind that each of these kids is someone's baby- and I want to treat that LO the way I would want my own child to be treated.

I have internalized every single one of "my kids". Sometimes it's not good as I get emotional over some of my cases, especially when my professional knowledge and my personal feelings differ. At the same time, it keeps me real- which is something I know "my parents" appreciate.

Re: Teacher moms...or moms who work with kids

Posted by cj7305

Posted by Jen2999

I was always a "nuturer" in the classroom but now, OMG, I want to take them all home with me.

YES! I agree, I feel so much more for these children now that I'm a mom

Re: Teacher moms...or moms who work with kids

I have been teaching seriously emotionally disturbed children in psychiatric day treatment from the ages of 6 through 16 for the past 14 years. My classroom has often served as the only consistent thing in their lives. As much time and passion as I put into teaching, I have never wanted to take any of them home with me. After 14 years, I have developed a pretty thick skin. I go to work, do my job, come home and count my blessings as I provide my own child with the nurturing environment SHE needs. I cannot bear the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I realize this may sound heartless and cruel, but when you have been doing it as long as I have been doing it, you have no choice of you end up as one hell of a depressed person. I cannot bring that emotion to MY home environment and my family.

Re: Teacher moms...or moms who work with kids

I work in EI with children with autism and now that I have my own DS I completely understand what you are talking about. I have always been very emotional about the children and families I work with, but it is definitely different now

Re: Teacher moms...or moms who work with kids

Re: Teacher moms...or moms who work with kids

absolutely! I teach high school & having my own children has changed the way I treat my students.