I HATE the month of February. It's always the same....
February starts and as it progresses I realize how depressed I am. Im in such a funk. I dont want to do anything. I dont want to smile. I dont want to laugh. I just want to stay in bed and sleep...
Every year I think it's one thing or another...Im dieting, started new medication, stress from "whatever"...
Then it hits me about 1/3 of the way in...
It's February. Next month it will be March...That means birthday time. My sons birthday is March 7. Or rather it would have been their birthday...But unfortunately it is also the day that they died.
They would have been 17 years old this year. I cant even grasp it. I miss them so much and yet they were here for barely a blink...
Last night I laid in bed and asked God the same thing I have asked him for more times than I can count...Just a dream. I just want to see them in a dream. I just want to touch them in a dream. 17 years and Ive never had that dream....How is it that a dream is too much to ask for? I would give anything to have that dream.....
Thanks for listening. I just needed to get this out....
I am so sorry Heather. These "trigger dates" as I call them, are so difficult to get through, but you will. I feel as though I haven't had that many dreams of Liam, and I sometimes feel guilty.
The amount of love you have for your boys is outstanding. They are so fortunate to have you as a mom!! I have no doubt that they give you and your family special blessings each day. Please take care!!!!
I have dreamed about Caleb and I hate those dreams. I love them in the moment(in my dreams I realize its all a dream and will end shortly) but I wake up feeling so broken hearted and I have to relive his death over and over after every dream
These "trigger dates" as I call them, are so difficult to get through, but you will. I feel as though I haven't had that many dreams of Liam, and I sometimes feel guilty.
