Are Saturdays Going to Suck Forever

Three weeks . . . it's been three weeks. I knew the first time I made sauce it was going to be an exercise in mental toughness, as I was going to have to remember how to make it without calling the mother who is no longer here to tell me what to do. I didn't know I was going to forget to turn off the crockpot & that it wouldn't occur to DH to do it, and the result would be one huge burnt mess that had to be thrown away.

DH & I took DD to the aquarium today, and all over there were signs for a Mother's Day brunch. Can't we skip Mother's Day this year??????

OMG . . . I can't belive she is gone, just like that - poof. Breathing one second, and gone the next. It's the strangest thing in the world to look at someone whose hand you are holding (and have been holing for an hour) and just know that they are gone - to see the moment when life ends and death begins.

Everyday it seems to get harder, and Saturdays . . . well, they suck.

Re: Are Saturdays Going to Suck Forever

A million

Re: Are Saturdays Going to Suck Forever

Not forever, no. But they will continue to suck for a while.

D, it's only been 3 weeks. It's still so raw and new. It will get better through time, as you continue to live life without your mom you'll begin to realize "yes, I can do this, I'm doing it".

This is the year of all the "first time without her":
Mother's Day will suck
Her birthday will suck
Your birthday will suck
DD's birthday will suck
Christmas will suck
Starting a new year will suck
The anniversary will suck

But you WILL get through it. And the next year you'll get through it again. And the year after that too. It will still suck, but it won't suck quite as much because you'll have gained strength from it. Instead of mourning your mom on those days you'll use them as opportunities to tell DD stories about her. And one day, you'll have DD in the kitchen with you and teach her how to make sauce. In that way your mom will live on.

Re: Are Saturdays Going to Suck Forever

I wish I could have been there for you this past Saturday like I wanted to be.