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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
not buying it- we'll be spanking our kids, not beating, not doing it in anger, but if they do something that warrants it and time out is not enough, we'll be spanking them
Exactly. Christ, I'm perfect and I was spanked 
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Posted 4/12/10 8:52 PM  |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
i didn't read the article, but i 100% agree that it can happen if a child is repeatedly spanked.
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| Posted 4/12/10 9:37 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
I have never spanked either of my kids(16 month old twins) but my DH has when they were standing in the tub and wouldn't sit down(in danger) BTW he laughed
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| Posted 4/12/10 10:56 PM |
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Diana712
RIP my beloved Brother Richard
Member since 5/07 6710 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by MrsFlatbread
Without reading the article, part of me thinks its horse poo. If spanking my children is the lesser of two evils of the consequences of their behavior, you bet your bottom, their's will be red!! This is of course for severe circumstances...just like my mom did to me. Besides, I think it says somewhere in the bible, that it's okay to spank your kid with a rod or something right!!! I kid, I kid!!! I know what the bible said!
ETA: Flame Away!
Spare the rod spoil the child
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| Posted 4/13/10 7:26 AM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by Diana712
Posted by MrsFlatbread
Without reading the article, part of me thinks its horse poo. If spanking my children is the lesser of two evils of the consequences of their behavior, you bet your bottom, their's will be red!! This is of course for severe circumstances...just like my mom did to me. Besides, I think it says somewhere in the bible, that it's okay to spank your kid with a rod or something right!!! I kid, I kid!!! I know what the bible said!
ETA: Flame Away!
Spare the rod spoil the child
I knew this!! Thanks for clarity!
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| Posted 4/13/10 9:02 AM |
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mommyof2tobe
LIF Infant
Member since 1/07 50 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
I don't have any issues with spanking per say. But let's face it, we spank our children when we are angry or upset with them or something they did and I think using physical force at that particular point leads to hitting that may be more aggressive then intended.
Personally, I don't think that spanking is any more affective in providing structure and limits to a child then non physical means. If it's not okay to spank a person for taking your parking spot or your spouse for not picking up their socks, why would it be okay to spank a child?
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| Posted 4/13/10 9:36 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by CkGm
I am sure if you spank your kid every time they do something wrong, they will become more aggressive. IF you save it for REALLY bad offensives( running into the street), I don't see how this could happen.
I agree with previous poster.  SO flame me too!
I agree
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| Posted 4/13/10 9:56 AM |
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jprimrose
I love my little munchkins!
Member since 10/05 3939 total posts
Name:
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by Jax430
I'd have to read the actual journal article before drawing any real conclusions about the study, but this makes perfect sense, and is not a new argument. In the same way exposure to violent TV and video games is associated with an increase in aggressive behavior, viewing aggression from a parent or other adult is going to increase aggression in children.
I can't tell you how many times I've worked with parents who complain about their children hitting, only to find out that hitting in their main form of discipline. Imagine spanking a child while yelling "don't hit!" What kind of message does that send?
All of that said, I was spanked a couple of times as a kid, and I am far from aggressive. However, it has a lot to do with the frequency of the spanking.
I completely agree that spanking is a very short-term solution that only instills fear, but does not teach the child any long-term lesson.
I completely agree with everything you wrote. Some of the more aggressive children I taught were spanked by their parents. I am in total agreement with the article.
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| Posted 4/13/10 12:24 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
I have also seen non spanked children HIT their PARENTS.
I don't think one inherently begets another.
and there are definitely varying degrees of spanking too.
children MUST be taught boundaries. and some learn with just words. some don't. some parents use physicality too often and too soon. some don't use it when it would do some good.
bottom line (no pun intended ) is that you have to do and understand what works best for your CHILD.
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| Posted 4/13/10 12:41 PM |
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JenandMikey
life is good =)
Member since 5/07 4216 total posts
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We're so blessed!
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by Ophelia
I have also seen non spanked children HIT their PARENTS.
I don't think one inherently begets another.
and there are definitely varying degrees of spanking too.
children MUST be taught boundaries. and some learn with just words. some don't. some parents use physicality too often and too soon. some don't use it when it would do some good.
bottom line (no pun intended ) is that you have to do and understand what works best for your CHILD.
yay! i wouldnt change a thing about your post, GREAT WORDING and ITA!
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| Posted 4/13/10 1:50 PM |
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astroqueen74
Vibrant Health
Member since 1/07 2822 total posts
Name:
Karina
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by eddiesmommy
if thats the case.....a lot of posters were apparently spanked as children. Should we take a poll?
yes, go for it.
I was spanked!
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| Posted 4/13/10 2:01 PM |
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astroqueen74
Vibrant Health
Member since 1/07 2822 total posts
Name:
Karina
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
I was yelled at and spanked as a child and turned out okay...:) it was the only way my father knew how to discipline me, but my mother never spanked me. I'm also Latina and it is part of our culture. Anyway, I was not aggressive as a child nor do I am now. I did not like it, and that's why I try really hard to avoid doing it now, but honestly its how I grew up so it's an automatic reaction if he misbehaves so I think 2x before reacting. I personally don't want to spank as a form of discipline but if I have to I will. I have to admit that I've done it a couple of times and it bothers me. With that said, I rather NOT spank my child as a form of discipline. I want to be able to talk to him.
Message edited 4/13/2010 2:34:15 PM.
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| Posted 4/13/10 2:15 PM |
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astroqueen74
Vibrant Health
Member since 1/07 2822 total posts
Name:
Karina
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by JenandMikey
Posted by Ophelia
I have also seen non spanked children HIT their PARENTS.
I don't think one inherently begets another.
and there are definitely varying degrees of spanking too.
children MUST be taught boundaries. and some learn with just words. some don't. some parents use physicality too often and too soon. some don't use it when it would do some good.
bottom line (no pun intended ) is that you have to do and understand what works best for your CHILD.
yay! i wouldnt change a thing about your post, GREAT WORDING and ITA!
well said!
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| Posted 4/13/10 2:15 PM |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by Jax430
I'd have to read the actual journal article before drawing any real conclusions about the study, but this makes perfect sense, and is not a new argument. In the same way exposure to violent TV and video games is associated with an increase in aggressive behavior, viewing aggression from a parent or other adult is going to increase aggression in children.
I can't tell you how many times I've worked with parents who complain about their children hitting, only to find out that hitting in their main form of discipline. Imagine spanking a child while yelling "don't hit!" What kind of message does that send?
All of that said, I was spanked a couple of times as a kid, and I am far from aggressive. However, it has a lot to do with the frequency of the spanking.
I completely agree that spanking is a very short-term solution that only instills fear, but does not teach the child any long-term lesson.
well said! i was never hit as a child and i am very against it. i dont see how it teaches the child not to do what they did wrong...except instill fear.
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| Posted 4/13/10 2:17 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by QTDimps23
well said! i was never hit as a child and i am very against it. i dont see how it teaches the child not to do what they did wrong...except instill fear.
let me first say that I respect your decision completely.
I just want to bring up what I feel is a valid point. people talk about hitting only serving to instill fear. that it teaches nothing.
but what about things like time outs and taking away toys?
does that not also instill fear? it's just not fear of pain. it's fear of punishment. how does that "teach" anything more?
if you're not listening to mommy, how does 5 minutes in the corner teach any more of a lesson than a lil swat to the bum?
(I am genuinely asking here) 
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| Posted 4/13/10 2:26 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by QTDimps23
well said! i was never hit as a child and i am very against it. i dont see how it teaches the child not to do what they did wrong...except instill fear.
let me first say that I respect your decision completely.
I just want to bring up what I feel is a valid point. people talk about hitting only serving to instill fear. that it teaches nothing.
but what about things like time outs and taking away toys?
does that not also instill fear? it's just not fear of pain. it's fear of punishment. how does that "teach" anything more?
if you're not listening to mommy, how does 5 minutes in the corner teach any more of a lesson than a lil swat to the bum?
(I am genuinely asking here)
For me, I am comfortable teaching my child that there are repercussions for your behavior; I'm not okay with one of those repercussions being pain.
Also, IMO, time out or being sent to your room teaches a child to be reflective and that is something that I want to instill in my child.
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| Posted 4/13/10 2:33 PM |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
Member since 11/08 12970 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by QTDimps23
well said! i was never hit as a child and i am very against it. i dont see how it teaches the child not to do what they did wrong...except instill fear.
let me first say that I respect your decision completely.
I just want to bring up what I feel is a valid point. people talk about hitting only serving to instill fear. that it teaches nothing.
but what about things like time outs and taking away toys?
does that not also instill fear? it's just not fear of pain. it's fear of punishment. how does that "teach" anything more?
if you're not listening to mommy, how does 5 minutes in the corner teach any more of a lesson than a lil swat to the bum?
(I am genuinely asking here)
For me, I am comfortable teaching my child that there are repercussions for your behavior; I'm not okay with one of those repercussions being pain.
Also, IMO, time out or being sent to your room teaches a child to be reflective and that is something that I want to instill in my child.
exactly. sorry, i should have been clearer that i dont want my child to fear that i will hurt them. i remember as a kid if my mom pointed her finger at me i got really upset. i knew i did something wrong.
of course this is a purely personal decision and i would never tell someone how to raise their child. but for me, ive talked to too many friends who have been hit and their response is always "well i was a bad kid and i deserved it". who says you deserved it? i personally dont think any kid deserves to feel physical pain.
i want to explain what they did wrong and make sure they understand that. im not totally dense that there is a good chance that wont work. but at that point ill search high and low for an alternative.
ive witnessed parents hitting their children without explaining why their being hit. that just angers me. these kids have no idea what they did wrong. it makes me sad for them.
ETA: my DH was hit as a kid and when he got old enough he started laughing at his mom when she tried to hit him. what does that say? ha ha im bigger now you cant hit me. so basically hitting him instilled no values in him other than...i cant wait till i get older and you cant do this to me anymore.
Message edited 4/13/2010 2:43:45 PM.
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| Posted 4/13/10 2:39 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by QTDimps23
well said! i was never hit as a child and i am very against it. i dont see how it teaches the child not to do what they did wrong...except instill fear.
let me first say that I respect your decision completely.
I just want to bring up what I feel is a valid point. people talk about hitting only serving to instill fear. that it teaches nothing.
but what about things like time outs and taking away toys?
does that not also instill fear? it's just not fear of pain. it's fear of punishment. how does that "teach" anything more?
if you're not listening to mommy, how does 5 minutes in the corner teach any more of a lesson than a lil swat to the bum?
(I am genuinely asking here)
For me, time out teaches that there is a consequence to behavior. It doesn't instill fear but rather illustrates that my child has the ability to make a decision for herself and that decision has a certain affect. I don't believe that spanking will do anything other then have an immediate reaction. I don't believe that is has the ability to help to her to learn to make better choices.
ETA: I should also answer that in regards to taking away toys, I will start using that to affect behavior when the concept of earning it back can be utilized. I believe that when you take an item away or lose a priveledge, the only way to get it back is to earn it back.
Message edited 4/13/2010 2:44:04 PM.
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| Posted 4/13/10 2:40 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
...
Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by CrankyPants
We are a no hitting household-for a lot or the reasons in here.
ETS: The thought of anyone hitting my child (including me) makes me shudder with rage.
Agreed.
Do not need to read the article. My reasons for NEVER raising a hand to my children have nothing to do with any "studies".
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| Posted 4/13/10 2:40 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
thank you all for addressing my question.
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| Posted 4/13/10 2:43 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Message edited 11/28/2011 3:41:18 PM.
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| Posted 4/13/10 4:45 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
you ultimately want to impress that there are REASONABLE consequences for certain behaviors. violence is never a reasonable consequence.
honestly, what my "idea" of spanking is, I don't consider to me "violence."
and sometimes, the consequence of ones actions are NOT reasonable to the action...ie touching fire, sticking things in sockets, running out into the street.
I see smacks to the hand/bum in those instances to make an IMMEDIATE association ie THIS action HURTS.
that is just how I look at it. I don't expect/believe others will view it the same way.
having been subjected to violence my entire childhood, I certainly don't.
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| Posted 4/13/10 4:53 PM |
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secretmama
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/10 14 total posts
Name:
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
you ultimately want to impress that there are REASONABLE consequences for certain behaviors. violence is never a reasonable consequence.
honestly, what my "idea" of spanking is, I don't consider to me "violence."
and sometimes, the consequence of ones actions are NOT reasonable to the action...ie touching fire, sticking things in sockets, running out into the street.
I see smacks to the hand/bum in those instances to make an IMMEDIATE association ie THIS action HURTS.
that is just how I look at it. I don't expect/believe others will view it the same way.
ITA!
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| Posted 4/13/10 5:26 PM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
I was spanked by my mother three times in my life. I remember each of one them. My mother has always been my best friend, and I can't imagine my life without her.
I never feared her, I respected her.
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| Posted 4/13/10 6:20 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior
Posted by Phyl
Posted by CkGm
I am sure if you spank your kid every time they do something wrong, they will become more aggressive. IF you save it for REALLY bad offensives( running into the street), I don't see how this could happen.
I agree with previous poster. SO flame me too!
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| Posted 4/13/10 6:21 PM |
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