Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I thought my wanting to be a SAHM was a phase. The more time that passes, the more I yearn to stay at home with DS. I'd also like to grow our family next year and I'm sure I'd want to stay home with #2 as well.

To those moms who left their careers, do you regret it?

I want to stay at home for a few years and maybe come back once the kids are in elementary school.

How hard is it to return back to work after taking a few years off?

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I was laid off, so this is really just my opinion coming from that.

But I would not leave my career unless we were REALLY comfortable money wise, like REALLY comfortable. The job market is ROUGH right now

My cousin took off 5 years with her two, and she never got a job in her original field again, she had to go back to school in a totally different field to find a job

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I left my career before I had kids because I knew I couldn't do the job I had and be a mom. It was way to demanding, hours were too long, and too emotionally draining.

I could not go back to my old career now because everyone I worked with is now gone and no one would have a clue who I was - and I would never get the good gig that I had.

I think it depends also on what type of career you are leaving!

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I am an elementary school teacher. I went back for my Masters, spent a lot of money on grad school, enjoyed teaching (even though I HATED the NYC Schools) BUT...........from the time I was a little girl I ALWAYS wanted to be a mom FIRST before anything else so for me it was the easiest decision ever to walk away from my career. My DD is 18 months old and I have not regretted my decision for even a second. These have been the GREATEST 18 months of my life and I feel fortunate to have been there for every second of her 18 months on this planet. I don't miss my career, I don't miss teaching, I don't miss any of it. I LOVE being a SAHM and I wouldn't change a thing. Financially it's been harder for sure but it's worth it IMO. Not everyone will agree and some women hate to give up their careers but for me, being a SAHM was always the career I wanted first before anything else. I LOVE it!

Message edited 4/14/2010 12:04:29 PM.

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I left my career as a HS teacher three years ago this month--just before the birth of my 2nd DD.

Do I regret it? No, not for a minute. Look, being a SAHM was NOT a dream of mine and I left my job kicking and screaming. However, I made the sacrifice willingly because of financial and other reasons. I know I'm doing the right thing for my family. And you know what...this gig isn't so bad after all.

I do plan to return to work when all of my children (and I'm pregnant with #3 currently) are in school full-time. I don't know how hard it's going to be to return, and all of my friends are either SAHMs or WMs--none have yet to return to the workforce. I will say that I got my two teaching jobs very quickly, so I'm not afraid of that. Plus, if I don't find another job as quickly...what's another year off after all this time? And yes, we're very financially secure.

Good luck with your decision!

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I think it really depends on the career. I would love to stay home with DS but if I had never gone back from maternity leave 2 yrs ago, an alien from another planet would probably have a better chance than me to get another job in my field (I'm in finance) both because jobs are still relatively scarce and my entire world has drastically changed so I'd have missed WAY too much in market developments to compete with others who worked throughout. I would want to come back to this field so I will have to stay in it. If I didnt mind changing careers or had a job that wouldnt change much in 5 yrs, I'd consider it.

Message edited 4/14/2010 12:08:12 PM.

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I left my "career" but in a different way. At the same time I had DD, my FIL bought his company and asked me to work for him only 3 days a week. To me, it was a win-win since I could be home with my kid(s) 2 days a week and still work but not in my "career".
I really missed my old job, so I still work at a hotel at night just PT. I don't have a degree in it, just passion to do what I love and I am keeping my foot in the door

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I think about it all the time. Financially it wouldn't work right now. I'm hoping to be able to stay home or work part time when we have another DC in the next couple of years.

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I lost my job last year and moved. I am an attorney by trade. I do plan on practicing again, but there is nothing I feel in my life is more rewarding than being with my child. This is my personal decision and belief and I have no regrets. I will take some legal work in the home but I have no intentions of returning to law right away. I have many years to do that.

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I don't regret it, but there are aspect sof it that I do miss..I still have headhunters calling me daily to get me back...my industry does allow for home office positions..so I'm toying and have been toying with that idea for a while now, but for some reason I'm not 100 percent sold on the idea..I'm toying with the idea of doing something on my own like real estate...but in short regret no, aspects of it that I miss, YES greatly...

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I left my career in IT to be a stay at home mom. Regret it? not sure regret is the right word but maybe somewhat and I can say I miss working a lot!! I never in a million years pictured myself as a stay at home mom and over 2 years later - still can't picture it and not sure I made the total right decision. I had child care issues and with the type of job I did, both DH and I working in the city, hours , etc - it just wasn't working out. I felt like my option was a live in nany which I was against or find a new job closer to home but in the type of career path I was in - I couldn't imagine a job closer to home being better hours because I had it pretty good for IT where I was and it worked well and had a great boss and seniority. Both home and work was losing out and I had to make a choice and do so quickly.

I do feel like I have lost myself and my identity or at least a huge part of my identity that was my own/my own aaccomplishments. Although I should take pride in the great boys I have - it isn't the same for me and I don't feel bad saying that as much as so many working moms try to make me feel terrible for feeling the way I do. I miss the control/mgmt, power, adult interaction, my business mind, socializing, having more time to myself, using my mind the way I use to, my analytical skills, I could go on, etc. Maybe if I had a hobby or social/adult outlet - it would help but lack or time away from home or ideas what to do has that as not an option.

As for going back, now that I am home and doing what I am doing - I can't imagine working full time. While I feel like I lost so much of myself, I feel like I wold lose so much more of my boys if I did go back. Not sure what the future would bring with me - I know IT isn't really an option as I am out of date already and it would take a lot of school and stuff to get back which isn't really an option for a long time. On top of it, not sure I would want to do just any job or start back low level - for the things I liked about working wouldn't be there. Guess whne the time comes I will deal with it and hopefully something new in my life would open up.

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I left a career in public relations but was only working for six years when I had DS. I also really didn't enjoy most aspects of my work, so it wasn't a hard decision to leave.

When I go back to work someday I will either find something that focuses on the parts of PR that I liked to do (writing) or I will try something new entirely.

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I worked part-time for a year after my first daughter, but I wanted to be home so bad and was miserable ever day at work. We knew we were going to start trying for a second child so that's when I decided to leave my job (before I got pregnant again). It was the best decision I had ever made. I love being home with them.

I was lucky because when I told my boss that I was leaving, they offered to have me work from home 12 hours a week, which I wasn't expecting. I don't think I would have regretted my decision even if they did not offer me the 12 hours a week. The only good thing is that I can always go back when the kids are in school because I technically still work there. I think it would be a lot harder to go back if I lost touch with everyone.

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I left my job after working for 7 months. I missed DS so so much I couldn't take it anymore and left. My mom pushed me an told me I may regret it one day if I don't stay home with baby. I have not regretted it for one second! I'm so happy being home with him, he and I have such a bond that I felt was missing before. I do regret going back at all I feel like I wasted those 7 months at work, I shoudl have just stayed home with him.

I never worry about going back to work in the future. that day will come, and I will find a job like I always have. I hear too many ladies in their 40-50's wondering and questioning if they should have stayed home with their babies. I won't have to do that. I don't hear ppl regretting staying home with their kids. Now i have another DS on the way and I'm so very excited that I don't have to leave him!!!! when I had DS 1 I always had in the back of my head I would be leaving him one day to work, but not this time.

My mom took 5 years off from work to stay home with my sister and I, and she has the most amazing career now. So never worry about that. More and more ladies are staying home w/ their babies so it's becoming normal to do so.

as for money, I have to say it's found us. DH got a HUGE promotion after I left my job which covers my entire salary+ bonus and then some. maybe bc he put more effort into work since he didn't have to do anythign around here

good luck in your decision

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I have been back to work for exactly a month. I kid you not, everyday, is going to be the day I resign..lol.

DS is 4 months today, and it is hard...hard because I miss him, hard because we have so much fun on weekends and when I am home...I live for the evenings, weekends, and days off. Dh has told me to resign, time and again..for the past month , and for some reason, I just haven't done it yet. I want to, but I am kind of scared to...

No one can argue that the extra $ is nice, and though many are financially secure, extra $ is always welcomed. I have a great job, and I guess I just worry too much about the "what ifs"....

I doubt I will stay in my career past May, and not too worried about reentering the work force, because, if I look at how far I have come in the past 4-5 years, I never would have thought it to be possible, therefore anything is possible.

Good Luck to you, I know how hard it is, and I am here to chat if you need it

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

I left my job a year ago to stay home with DS when he was 14 months old. I worked in HR and had been in the field over 12 years. However, by the time I left, it was a "job" to me and not a "career". I hated my toxic work environment and it was merely a paycheck. I had to work to help pay our bills.

The thing that stopped me from quitting, because I was miserable, was that I didn't want to stay home if it meant us being in a financial bind. Luckily, DH's company was bought, we relocated OOS for his new position, which pays more and we now live where the cost of living is much cheaper.

I am thrilled to be home with DS and we have another DS on the way in 3 weeks. I have zero regrets, don't miss a single thing about my job, and love my time with my little guy. I do plan on working again when my sons are in school, not sure in what capacity yet. It may be a different field, or PT. GL with your choice!

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

You have to soul search and do what it right for you. I have talked to moms who regret not staying home and I have talked to women in their 50's who wished they had worked. It really depends on who you are and the kind of career you have. Your children will be fine either way. I work 3 days a week and it definitely makes me a better mother...that's just who I am.
No regrets!

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

Posted by Hofstra26

I am an elementary school teacher. I went back for my Masters, spent a lot of money on grad school, enjoyed teaching (even though I HATED the NYC Schools) BUT...........from the time I was a little girl I ALWAYS wanted to be a mom FIRST before anything else so for me it was the easiest decision ever to walk away from my career. My DD is 18 months old and I have not regretted my decision for even a second. These have been the GREATEST 18 months of my life and I feel fortunate to have been there for every second of her 18 months on this planet. I don't miss my career, I don't miss teaching, I don't miss any of it. I LOVE being a SAHM and I wouldn't change a thing. Financially it's been harder for sure but it's worth it IMO. Not everyone will agree and some women hate to give up their careers but for me, being a SAHM was always the career I wanted first before anything else. I LOVE it!

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

Re: Moms who left careers or thinking about leaving their careers...

When DD was 5 months old, I went back to work FT.

That lasted less then a week.... I was ready to resign from my job and while DH was very supportive of it, he encouraged me to try to at least work PT. IF my request was denied, then I was going to resign.

My request was not denied, and I've been working 3 days per week since August. Home with DD 2 days per week. I have mixed feelings about it.

When DC #2 is born in August however, I will NOT be going back to work once my maternity leave is over.

I will say though that I'm VERY nervous about being a SAHM. I don't know if I will regret my decision or not. Only time will tell.

I can't think about what will happen or what I will do once both kids are in school as that's a long time from now. Maybe I'll get a local PT job, or volunteer at their school or something just to keep myself busy. I can't see going back to Corporate America 7 years from now. (7 years from now though I'll be almost 50 though)