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ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
ok Girls,
TTC has been more difficult than we thought it would be because.... most men have the problem of finishing too quickly-- DH is exactly the opposite- he takes a VERY long time-- sometimes more than an hour- and lets face it after awhile it no longer feels good-- and sometimes he just cannot finish-- obviously this is essential to the babymaking process--- I am so bummed because yesterday morning the OPK was positive and last night he could not finish--- I am tyring to be understanding but honestly it is really frustrating-- he reassures it is not me and for the 12 years we have been together this has always been an issue-- but when we were not TTC it was no big deal (for me anyways! :) now it is a totally different story-- I am so worried that we missed our opportunity-- this morning the OPK was still positive so we will give it a go tonight- but the pressure is killing both of us--- I just don;t know what to do--- we have never been the couple who does the deed on a daily basis but now it is important and we/he are having difficulty. I know this is way too much info but this is really bothering me-- under normal circumstances a man that can go all night is great but now it is just extremely tiring for us both-- thanks for letting me vent... P.S we did BD on tuesday night but i think it was too early :( thanks guys-- i am just sooooo longing for my BFP-- it has been so freakin difficult since the miscarriage... please please make this our month... we need a break..
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Posted 5/27/10 8:43 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MrsG72907
Mommy of 2 girls!
Member since 5/10 2046 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
im actually glad you posted this bc i am actually having similar feelings. DH is good with the "finishing" but he has expressed the pressure is a lot for him. He feels he needs to perform on command. So yesterday I told him I was on CD 10 and maybe we should start doin BD (just every other day til we get positive OPK)....so last night no BD bc our 4 legged child wasnt feeling well and was up all night and DH slept with him in the living room so I could sleep...fine...no biggie. Then today he tells me he is going to go out for a couple drinks tonight at 9 with my cousins BF. I was a lil bothered but figured ok we can BD before.....but nothing!!! I kind of hinted at it but didn't want to "pressure" him....ugh this sux!!!!!! I am ready to go. I just feel like in a way maybe he is not taking this as serious as me!?!? Idk what to think.........sorry so long.....but i guess i needed to vent too! 
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| Posted 5/27/10 9:25 PM |
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AMPirate
Missing our peanut :(
Member since 11/09 1678 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
First, 
I have a little bit of experience with this, not an hour long, but sometimes longer than is pleasurable 
Would using some lube help? If so, you could try
Preseed I know that it has helped us. 
Maybe you could let him "get started" on his own so that he is raring to go and that might cut down on the time.
Either way, the best advice I can give you is to try and have as much fun as you can 
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| Posted 5/27/10 10:06 PM |
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katiec618
LIF Infant
Member since 1/10 252 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
Posted by AMPirate
Either way, the best advice I can give you is to try and have as much fun as you can
This is exactly what I was going to say!! As hard as it is...try to relax and have fun. 
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| Posted 5/27/10 10:35 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
maybe you could look into supplements for him or try new toys to make him extra excited...new sexy outfits. I'd be trying anything I could find! maybe try touching him in ways you don't normally.
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| Posted 5/27/10 11:52 PM |
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duchess9678
LIF Infant
Member since 12/08 150 total posts
Name:
Stacy
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
Porn, let him or help him get close before really getting down to business...Good Luck, and let me assure you YOU ARE SOOO NOT ALONE!! these boys and their penises complicate things...
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| Posted 5/28/10 2:29 AM |
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Exarina
My Two Girls
Member since 12/09 1249 total posts
Name:
Lisa Marie
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
Posted by duchess9678
Porn, let him or help him get close before really getting down to business...Good Luck, and let me assure you YOU ARE SOOO NOT ALONE!! these boys and their penises complicate things...
I AGREEE DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO
Message edited 5/28/2010 8:03:20 AM.
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| Posted 5/28/10 8:03 AM |
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
I hear you ladies--- we did try the whole get himself ready and porn thing but last night he couldn't even maintain his erection-- this is a first in 12 years-- the pressure is truly ruining everything-- I feel like it is going to tear us apart--- i am trying to be understanding really BUT I think we def missed the opportunity this month-- I am losing my mind!@@
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| Posted 5/28/10 12:55 PM |
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TnJ2007
Angelina . . . My Lil Angel
Member since 8/08 2196 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
the best advice i was ever given was to not to tell DH when ur BD-ing for fun or BD-ing for baby making. this way he hopefully won't feel pressure.
Good luck!!
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| Posted 5/28/10 12:56 PM |
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CallaLily
Thank you, Saint Gerard!
Member since 10/07 4937 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
Posted by TnJ2007
the best advice i was ever given was to not to tell DH when ur BD-ing for fun or BD-ing for baby making. this way he hopefully won't feel pressure.
Good luck!!
This is what I was going to say. Try not telling him so he doesn't feel pressured.
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| Posted 5/28/10 3:33 PM |
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NeedtoHide
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/10 551 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
im in the same boat-
this month im going to keep my mouth shut about it
he def has pressure issues
which sux
anyway good luck and i can totally empathize!!!
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| Posted 5/28/10 4:51 PM |
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DaisyGirl
LIF Adult
Member since 2/08 1650 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
Posted by Renee615
Posted by TnJ2007
the best advice i was ever given was to not to tell DH when ur BD-ing for fun or BD-ing for baby making. this way he hopefully won't feel pressure.
Good luck!!
This is what I was going to say. Try not telling him so he doesn't feel pressured.
I was going to say this too. I realized a few months into TTC the less info I have DH the better. Otherwise it was just too much pressure. To be honest, when I am ovulating I try to make sure we BD as much as possible but some months it is just not the right night and I let it go.
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| Posted 5/28/10 5:15 PM |
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
thanks for the support girls-- it is nice to know i am not alon-- i think next month-- cuz i know this one was a bust i won't say anything about ovulation, OPK's, dates nothin-- the less he knows the better i guess--- still totally upset about this month-- we did not bd once after i got positive on OPK due to his issues :( it was a total waste!!
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| Posted 5/28/10 7:10 PM |
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BabyHopes15
Thank you St. G for my boy PJ!
Member since 5/10 1756 total posts
Name:
Aim
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
Posted by duchess9678
Porn, let him or help him get close before really getting down to business...Good Luck, and let me assure you YOU ARE SOOO NOT ALONE!! these boys and their penises complicate things...
Porn and dirty talk! A girl has got to do what a girl has got to do to get a baby inside her!
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| Posted 5/28/10 8:46 PM |
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dancerandchef
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 575 total posts
Name:
Charlotte & Michael
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
Thank you so much for posting this cause we are feeling this way too. The timing and choreography of everything. DH is fast and I am slow.
We both want to start a family. We will be married for three years at the end of September and we are really getting bummed out that it has not happen yet.
I know I need some confidence. I have been so emotional inside lately.
~dancerandchef~
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| Posted 6/1/10 3:07 PM |
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duchess9678
LIF Infant
Member since 12/08 150 total posts
Name:
Stacy
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
Posted by BabyHopes15
Posted by duchess9678
Porn, let him or help him get close before really getting down to business...Good Luck, and let me assure you YOU ARE SOOO NOT ALONE!! these boys and their penises complicate things...
Porn and dirty talk! A girl has got to do what a girl has got to do to get a baby inside her!
EXACTLY!! there are days i start dancing and singing "I aint to proud to beg.." it lightens the mood and the little wiggle sometimes gets his mind going....
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| Posted 6/1/10 5:25 PM |
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fight the future
Master of my domain.
Member since 3/10 2067 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: ok def TMI but need to know if i am alone
you are not alone.
we are not TTC yet (just a lurker here) but this WILL be the problem we have, i know it.
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| Posted 6/1/10 10:17 PM |
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