Is This Unjust?

I co-slept with my kids until they were 5 & 3.

They transitioned into their own bedroom well.

About a year ago Robbie had a nightmare and crept into our bed in the middle of the night. We let him stay. I guess he figured it was a good opportunity because then he started having 'nightmares' 2-3 times a week.

Rob and I told him that he could come and sleep in our bed anytime he wanted, but that he would have to pay a toll. The toll was that he would have no electronic media the following day. Amazingly enough the nightmares ceased.

Last night he had a nightmare and slept in our bed. Today - as a result - he has no games or tv. At 8 there will be a showing of a new iCarly episode that he has really wanted to see and he will miss it. We will DVR it and he can watch it tomorrow - but he's bitterly disappointed today.

My sister says I am unfair. I honestly believe he really did have a nightmare.. he was reading a spooky book before bed and Noah was trying to scare him. But I feel like if I don't keep consistent EVERY time then he will try to get one over on me. But maybe I am being too hard on him?

For future reference.. should I reconsider if I honestly feel that he's being genuine about the need to be near us.. or should I stick to my guns and give the same result no matter what the reason?

Re: Is This Unjust?

Maybe you can give him "passes" ?
This way if you feel that if its warranted , you can encourage him to cash one in ?

Re: Is This Unjust?

I'm not sure I will be of any help to you, but I'll answer anyway.

**I** would let him watch it if I believed he really had a nightmare. If it happened more than once (in a reasonable period of time) I would then take away his electronics, or just put him back in his room.

I'm only saying that because it was a year ago.

I know it's important, as a parent, to follow through with what you say. So you probably should, that's probably the right answer... But I don't know, I also think it's ok to go back on it if you have a good reason, as long as you explain why you did.

Either way I don't think you're being too hard on him, you're just trying to be a good mom. He'll get over it.

Re: Is This Unjust?

I can understand why you instituted the policy, but I would hate for it to mean he wouldn't come to you when he needed to feel safe and secure because he didn't want to be penalized.

I would let this one go without consequence, and have the no electronics policy for repeat offenses.

eta: I like the "passes" idea!

Message edited 6/4/2010 8:18:43 PM.

Message edited 9/1/2011 12:26:47 PM.

Re: Is This Unjust?

While I completely agree with you to sticking with the "punishment", I would also consider how he reacted to not being able to do what he wanted today. If his reaction was, OK mom, I know no TV, and left it at that, I might be more flexible and "give in" this once. If he had a full blown tantrum over it (or somewhere in between ), I might stick with the original agreement of no electronics and let him watch the DVR'd episode at a later time.
Only you know your children and how they are going to react to "just this once"