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Another "not to judge"....

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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

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Janice

Re: Another "not to judge"....

that was nice to read amy! thanks!

Posted 6/25/10 2:22 PM
 
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)

Member since 5/06

23378 total posts

Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....

Re: Another "not to judge"....

OR....maybe the baby was dropped down from heaven by light skinned aliens to the first person they saw.

come on, people.

the simple fact is, we ALL make snap assumptions about situations. it is how the brain functions. AFTER that, we can then reason and figure out other PLAUSIBLE answers/insights to the situations presented before us.

we could all sit here and think up hundreds of different scenarios that would make what the OP saw seem ok. but we werent' there. we didn't see the precise situation that the OP made her assumptions about so all we are doing is armchair posting/passenger seat driving.

to sit here and compare YOUR situation or what you did or how you roll and then beat the OP to death for doing something every.single.one.of.us. does on a daily basis is just as "bad" as her assumption was in the first place.

it figures that Janice would get flamed for being owning up. I for one prefer honesty over dliuted ********.

Posted 6/25/10 2:27 PM
 

Sweets13
Bella Bambini

Member since 5/05

9300 total posts

Name:

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Am I the only one who wouldn't even of thought ANYTHING? I would of probably just looked, said "aww" and went on my way.

Anyone else with me?

Posted 6/25/10 2:42 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by Sweets13

Am I the only one who wouldn't even of thought ANYTHING? I would of probably just looked, said "aww" and went on my way.

Anyone else with me?



same here.....

Posted 6/25/10 2:45 PM
 

2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair

Member since 5/06

19861 total posts

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Best Wife & Mommy

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by Sweets13

Am I the only one who wouldn't even of thought ANYTHING? I would of probably just looked, said "aww" and went on my way.

Anyone else with me?



Same. I don't see the big deal.

Posted 6/25/10 2:45 PM
 

rojerono
Happiest.

Member since 8/06

13803 total posts

Name:
Jeannie

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by Ophelia

OR....maybe the baby was dropped down from heaven by light skinned aliens to the first person they saw.

come on, people.

the simple fact is, we ALL make snap assumptions about situations. it is how the brain functions. AFTER that, we can then reason and figure out other PLAUSIBLE answers/insights to the situations presented before us.

we could all sit here and think up hundreds of different scenarios that would make what the OP saw seem ok. but we werent' there. we didn't see the precise situation that the OP made her assumptions about so all we are doing is armchair posting/passenger seat driving.

to sit here and compare YOUR situation or what you did or how you roll and then beat the OP to death for doing something every.single.one.of.us. does on a daily basis is just as "bad" as her assumption was in the first place.

it figures that Janice would get flamed for being owning up. I for one prefer honesty over dliuted ********.



Yeah. That's about right. Especially the last sentence.

Posted 6/25/10 2:56 PM
 

neenie

Member since 5/05

22351 total posts

Name:

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by Sweets13

Am I the only one who wouldn't even of thought ANYTHING? I would of probably just looked, said "aww" and went on my way.

Anyone else with me?




I said the same thing earlier. I dont think i would have even noticed Chat Icon

Posted 6/25/10 4:10 PM
 

Kahuna
LIF Toddler

Member since 4/10

497 total posts

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Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by Sweets13

Am I the only one who wouldn't even of thought ANYTHING? I would of probably just looked, said "aww" and went on my way.

Anyone else with me?



Depends on if the so-called nanny had a great rack. Otherwise, no, I wouldn't have paid much attention to a woman sitting on a park bench with a baby.

Posted 6/25/10 4:28 PM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Tried to stay away, but it pulled me back in.....Chat Icon

Not my kid, not my business, unless I believe the child is in danger or getting hurt. I agree with Sweets that I probably would have oohed over the baby and went on my way.

Another perspective - a very good friend of mine had a baby nurse for baby #2 and as a single, childless woman at the time I thought it was odd since she was a SAHM. Clearly I had no idea how hard it would be with a toddler and a newborn. I found out later, from another friend, that she had terrible PPD with baby #1 and her DH hired baby #2 because he wanted her to have some much needed help. You can't always understand the situation staring you in the face.

Many people parent differently than I do, and make choices that I wouldn't, but if it helps them be a better parent, more power to them.

As always Janice, I appreciate your honesty. Chat Icon

Message edited 6/25/2010 4:43:27 PM.

Posted 6/25/10 4:42 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: Another "not to judge"....

O

Posted by Sweets13

Am I the only one who wouldn't even of thought ANYTHING? I would of probably just looked, said "aww" and went on my way.

Anyone else with me?



My first reaction would have probably been a two week old should not be in a public place but that comes from having to hold down my own two week old for her spinal tap.

I wouldn't have thought twice about the nanny. you never know someone's situation. I remember when DebG gave birth and was not even recovered from her delivery before she was back in to get a biopsy on her brain tumor. its those kind of things that stick with me from this messageboard.

We all judge based on our own experience. I don't fault Janice for thinking the mom should be with her baby just. I don't fault someone with a difficult recovery from getting a baby nurse to manage it better

Posted 6/25/10 5:52 PM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by nrthshgrl


We all judge based on our own experience. I don't fault Janice for thinking the mom should be with her baby just. I don't fault someone with a difficult recovery from getting a baby nurse to manage it better



I think baby nurses are a great asset! I had my mother, she was a huge help.
I just would not want my 2 week old out in central park with a non fam member. Chat Icon

Posted 6/25/10 6:30 PM
 

DeadHorse
LIF Infant

Member since 4/08

85 total posts

Name:
Silver

Re: Another "not to judge"....

I left my foal with my vet so I could get some new horseshoes. What does that make meChat Icon

Posted 6/25/10 6:41 PM
 

PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 12/05

17450 total posts

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Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by Sweets13

Am I the only one who wouldn't even of thought ANYTHING? I would of probably just looked, said "aww" and went on my way.

Anyone else with me?

100%
I dont pay attention to other peoples BS on a playground, its not me.

Posted 6/25/10 6:45 PM
 

queensgal
Smile

Member since 4/09

3287 total posts

Name:

Re: Another "not to judge"....

God forbid, What if the mom died in child birth or had a problem and is in need of SERIOUS recovery? I would much prefer the mom just needing a nap or being at work. Gotta keep things in perspective

You never know what someone else is going through.

Posted 6/25/10 6:51 PM
 

Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)

Member since 8/06

6655 total posts

Name:
Theresa

Re: Another "not to judge"....

If I had seen what the OP saw, I probably wouldn't have thought anything and kept walking. Unless there was something out of the ordinary about the baby...or the person with them...to make me notice them more than just a passing glance, smile, or whatever.

Posted 6/25/10 7:17 PM
 

gabbie83
2 girls <3

Member since 6/08

3037 total posts

Name:
gabbie

Re: Another "not to judge"....

i agree with Ophelia....
however i'd like to add that i saw the same thing 2 weeks ago in central park. DH, DD, our dog and I were taking a walk in central park. and we saw a nanny/or baby nurse (caribean decent) with a 3 week old caucasian baby. walking him, listening to her ipod. walking non chalantly.
did i comment to DH,,, ofcourse... i said
.... oh i hope she hears the baby when he cries!




Posted 6/25/10 8:41 PM
 

gabbie83
2 girls <3

Member since 6/08

3037 total posts

Name:
gabbie

Re: Another "not to judge"....

truth is....
there are people in the city that live totally different lives then us here in Queens or LI.
thats the truth. however you want to look at it.

DH is a contractor, has many clients in the city and has come across these situations often... where the mom is strolling around in her multimillion dollar apt and the nanny is with the baby.
its like in the movies.


Posted 6/25/10 8:43 PM
 

Porrruss
Nya nya nya

Member since 5/05

11618 total posts

Name:
Amy

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by DeadHorse

I left my foal with my vet so I could get some new horseshoes. What does that make meChat Icon



Off to the glue factory for you!!!Chat Icon

Posted 6/25/10 8:44 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by neenie

Posted by Sweets13

Am I the only one who wouldn't even of thought ANYTHING? I would of probably just looked, said "aww" and went on my way.

Anyone else with me?




I said the same thing earlier. I dont think i would have even noticed Chat Icon



I'm way too self absorbed to notice anything like that, I'd be more worried about people looking at me, and what they might be thinking.. Chat Icon

Posted 6/25/10 9:09 PM
 

architectnycity
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

2592 total posts

Name:

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by nrthshgrl

O
Posted by Sweets13

Am I the only one who wouldn't even of thought ANYTHING? I would of probably just looked, said "aww" and went on my way.

Anyone else with me?



My first reaction would have probably been a two week old should not be in a public place but that comes from having to hold down my own two week old for her spinal tap.




How do we even know the baby was 2 weeks old?

Posted 6/25/10 9:14 PM
 

stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!

Member since 4/06

3164 total posts

Name:

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Me too. I am completely self absorbed so i never notice anything.

ooops...I meant to quote from above.

Message edited 6/25/2010 9:15:21 PM.

Posted 6/25/10 9:14 PM
 

MAC222
LIF Adult

Member since 12/08

3860 total posts

Name:

Re: Another "not to judge"....

When does giving an opinion make someone "judging"? OP clearly wrote (as the subject) "not to judge" Obviously that was going to get you ladies revved up...always does..ready to pounce.

Anyhow, it is crazy to me to, then again, I am the same poster from a few months ago that was attacked for saying the manicure pedicure thing that always gets brought up....and spun completely out f control and off-topic....but I digress...either way, I think everyone knows how this board gets, I know I learned.

It is strange for people to see someone doing things that they would never do...and when you witness it, or see it, it strikes you...and that's it...

My opinion...this board gets crazy because women on here comment when a soft spot has been hit..when it is something they have done, would consider doing, and that is when the post get out of hand....agreeing to disagree is Adulthood class 101...you aren't going to do things the same as everyone, and it should be totally cool to come on LIF, and have people respond without the cattiness and the drama....but then again...those posts wouldn't bring us 7 pagesChat Icon

Posted 6/25/10 9:45 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by Janice

I think baby nurses are a great asset! I had my mother, she was a huge help.
I just would not want my 2 week old out in central park with a non fam member. Chat Icon




But you never know - mom is deceased, father has Alzheimers or lives far away. I think everyone is quick to fault someone but if you didn't have any family around, needed that help for whatever reason & could afford it (heck I know people that can't afford it & yet hired my mom as their post doula)...you may consider it.

Posted by architectnycity

Posted by nrthshgrl

O
Posted by Sweets13

Am I the only one who wouldn't even of thought ANYTHING? I would of probably just looked, said "aww" and went on my way.

Anyone else with me?



My first reaction would have probably been a two week old should not be in a public place but that comes from having to hold down my own two week old for her spinal tap.




How do we even know the baby was 2 weeks old?



I thought the poster asked the nanny?

Message edited 6/25/2010 9:52:13 PM.

Posted 6/25/10 9:51 PM
 

Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!

Member since 9/05

7919 total posts

Name:

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by MAC222

When does giving an opinion make someone "judging"? OP clearly wrote (as the subject) "not to judge" Obviously that was going to get you ladies revved up...always does..ready to pounce.

Anyhow, it is crazy to me to, then again, I am the same poster from a few months ago that was attacked for saying the manicure pedicure thing that always gets brought up....and spun completely out f control and off-topic....but I digress...either way, I think everyone knows how this board gets, I know I learned.

It is strange for people to see someone doing things that they would never do...and when you witness it, or see it, it strikes you...and that's it...

My opinion...this board gets crazy because women on here comment when a soft spot has been hit..when it is something they have done, would consider doing, and that is when the post get out of hand....agreeing to disagree is Adulthood class 101...you aren't going to do things the same as everyone, and it should be totally cool to come on LIF, and have people respond without the cattiness and the drama....but then again...those posts wouldn't bring us 7 pagesChat Icon



I'm sorry but just because she wrote "not too judge" does not mean that she wasnt. She used the term "pathetic", and to me, that is judging.

Thats disrespectful to people who were in similar situations, like ME. I was back to work when DD was 2 weeks old, and she was in the hands of a caregiver.

Opinions are fine when they are written out respectfully, expecially with the different parenting styles on this board. I wish people would remember that before posting sometimes.

Posted 6/25/10 9:53 PM
 

neenie

Member since 5/05

22351 total posts

Name:

Re: Another "not to judge"....

Posted by MAC222

When does giving an opinion make someone "judging"?



I think people make commission off of use of the word "judging" around here... just like i think they used to make it off of the word "Offensive" (and all the derivatives there-of) Chat Icon


I don't care if people judge... i just don't think its something i would have even noticed or thought twice about. But, I'm definitely self-absorbed like that Chat Icon

Posted 6/25/10 9:54 PM
 
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