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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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I can't believe.........
I was supposed to be 20wks tomorrow 
I was doing find the ENTIRE day!!!!! I maybe spent 5 minutes feeling sorry for myself which is a big improvement over previous days since this all went down... but now I can't help but think that TOMORROW I was supposed to be 20wks.
Instead of being 20wks pregnant and embracing a big pregnant belly, I'm obsessing over the number of weeks until I can get back to my RE's office and try again.... and of course agonizing over the 10lbs of baby weight I still need to lose   I can't believe this is what my BFP 5 months ago has come to. Is this real?!
(for those who are just tuning in.. I lost my pregnancy at 17.5wks) Ugh. Stupid depressed horrible mood is officially in effect.
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Posted 8/30/10 7:01 PM  |
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jess237
LIF Toddler
Member since 4/10 418 total posts
Name:
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Re: I can't believe.........
 
I'm so sorry. I've been feeling sorry for myself thinking, I would be done with my first trimester-I totally understand. As my friend told me today (who went thru 2 miscarriages, one with twins), "It takes a little while to think of it without that ache in your chest. I promise it gets easier. You'll feel better too when you start trying again" I totally believe she is right. And I feel your pain about the weight too. 10 weeks of pregnancy and some baby weight---and now nothing to show for it and tight clothes.
Things WILL get better for us with time.
P.S. 15 days til my RE consult not that I'm counting (you're not alone there either 
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| Posted 8/30/10 11:28 PM |
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Lisa982006
Mommy of 2! Ty God
Member since 9/06 3107 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: I can't believe.........
Im so sorry I know what thats like; thinking about what was "suppose to be". Its hard to let go; I still think about my losses and pray everyday that this baby is born healthy to me.
Dont feel bad about how you feel. You have to grieve. You have been through a lot. Once you get back with Dr B and start trying again, Im sure you will start to feel a little better
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| Posted 8/31/10 7:28 AM |
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ds319
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/07 659 total posts
Name:
Dena
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Re: I can't believe.........
I know I feel your pain. I was supposed to be delivering my son this week.
It does get easier I promise. The pain doesn't really go away but it will get easier.
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| Posted 8/31/10 10:38 AM |
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Athee
I believe in miracles!
Member since 8/07 2462 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: I can't believe.........
Monday the 23rd was supposed to be my due date... it was a hard day but as you know things worked out for me the third time around (1st FET resulted in a BFN)
The feeling of a loss will always be there but as time goes on it also heals your heart...  hang in there... you are one tough cookie
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| Posted 8/31/10 11:03 AM |
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Re: I can't believe.........
I'm so sorry! I understand how you feel as 20 weeks is a big milestone that we all long for when we're pregnant. I should be 12 weeks on Monday which was the date I was anxiously waiting for. I'm just trying to have faith that these babies of ours were just not strong enough to survive and why cause them more pain by bringing them into the world and having them on ventilators and other medical interventions if they wouldn't have survived. I am trying to believe that they are calmer and more peaceful now. Although, I'm not always able to do this and often have feelings like you do.
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| Posted 9/1/10 11:48 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: I can't believe.........
Thank you ladies
I don't know why, this week has just been rough. I think it's because it's supposed to be my 20th week. Halfway through and instead of I spent the day worrying about infertility coverage.
Sometimes when I think of trying again in another 5 weeks, it feels so soon.. and then there are times 5 weeks feels like it will just never get here I just want back what I had. I feel so defeated.
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| Posted 9/2/10 12:30 AM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I can't believe.........
Posted by SeptemberBride03
I'm so sorry! I understand how you feel as 20 weeks is a big milestone that we all long for when we're pregnant. I should be 12 weeks on Monday which was the date I was anxiously waiting for. I'm just trying to have faith that these babies of ours were just not strong enough to survive and why cause them more pain by bringing them into the world and having them on ventilators and other medical interventions if they wouldn't have survived. I am trying to believe that they are calmer and more peaceful now. Although, I'm not always able to do this and often have feelings like you do.
That's what I try to do, even though it is NOT easy. Each Thursday would start a 'new' week for me. And it hasn't gotten easier as the weeks go on. Every week I say "Today I would have been xx weeks" and then I think about what I would look like, what the baby would be doing, etc.. it's horrible and I wish I wouldn't do that. I got AF this week (4-1/2 weeks post D&C) and while I was happy I was moving on, I was thrown into depression because it's really real (even though I know it's real since I had a D&C) UGH, I'd like to turn the feelings OFF!
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| Posted 9/2/10 8:10 AM |
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