My son is driving me crazy

For real.

Getting out of the house is the biggest production ever (this coming from a kid who then never wants to come home)

Every day getting out for school is a battle - but I do it.

Today he doesn't have school. I have some returns at TRU. I literally told him I would get him whatever toy he wanted. Great - he wants Slinky from Toy Story. Sure - no problem

I got him dressed and he refuses to come downstairs. I am tired of carrying him down like he's a baby. Forcing him to put his shoes on. I yelled (BAD I KNOW) that if he doesnt' get downstairs now Tyler and I are leaving him. Doesn't budge. I go back upstairs - he is undressed and laying on his bed.

I shut his bedroom door. Closed the gate at the top of the stairs and told him not to come out.

He is now playing happily in his room (I am watching in the monitor)

WTH is wrong with this kid? Three is SO much harder than two. I can't believe it. And, I hate feeling like the world's worst mother AT LEAST once a day.

Update: Before he went down to his nap I said "When you wake up we ARE going to the toy store like I said." -- He said fine.

Then naptime was over (he never fell asleep) and I said "Let's go" and the whole thing started all over again. I said "This is not an option, come downstairs now."

I walked down with Tyler and two minutes later he came down, put on his shoes, and was an angel at the store.

Message edited 10/7/2010 4:59:47 PM.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

My son is the same way lately.....EVERY thing is a battle.....and i lose my patience way more than I like to admit, but he already knows how to push my buttons!!!

Re: My son is driving me crazy

You're NOT a bad mom. I think he's just stubborn and testing you. I know how annoying it can be but I honestly would have put him in the car kicking and screaming. He needs to learn you're the boss and he does what YOU say, you dont do what he says, KWIM???? I know how it is...sometimes you just dont feel like arguing.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Posted by jellybean1420



You're NOT a bad mom. I think he's just stubborn and testing you. I know how annoying it can be but I honestly would have put him in the car kicking and screaming. He needs to learn you're the boss and he does what YOU say, you dont do what he says, KWIM???? I know how it is...sometimes you just dont feel like arguing.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

You are not he worst mother ever so don't ever feel like this!

Hope your day gets easier

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by jellybean1420



You're NOT a bad mom. I think he's just stubborn and testing you. I know how annoying it can be but I honestly would have put him in the car kicking and screaming. He needs to learn you're the boss and he does what YOU say, you dont do what he says, KWIM???? I know how it is...sometimes you just dont feel like arguing.

Crissy, I HAD to leave him because I was afraid I was going to explode, so I really needed to just walk away from him. You know how hard it is having three people dressed and ready to walk out the door. If we weren't going to TRU I would have done it - but the fact is, he would have expected the toy when we got there, and he obviously didn't deserve it. That would have been a whole new battle.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Posted by jellybean1420

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by jellybean1420



You're NOT a bad mom. I think he's just stubborn and testing you. I know how annoying it can be but I honestly would have put him in the car kicking and screaming. He needs to learn you're the boss and he does what YOU say, you dont do what he says, KWIM???? I know how it is...sometimes you just dont feel like arguing.

Crissy, I HAD to leave him because I was afraid I was going to explode, so I really needed to just walk away from him. You know how hard it is having three people dressed and ready to walk out the door. If we weren't going to TRU I would have done it - but the fact is, he would have expected the toy when we got there, and he obviously didn't deserve it. That would have been a whole new battle.

I sent TJ to his room too when he gets nuts...but he hates it. He will scream and than when he calms down I let him out.

Trust me I know how hard it is to get out of the house. TJ has nursery school in the morning so I have to get everyone fed and dressed (including myself ) and out the door by 8:45 3x's a week

Message edited 10/7/2010 11:29:22 AM.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Im right there with you. EVERY LITTLE THING is a battle! Youre totally right, 3 is a million times worse than two!

Re: My son is driving me crazy

cheese and rice...i am shaking just reading this!!

you did great and the right thing, i think...i think if i kept dealing with it i would have killed him.

how is dh's relationship with him?
does he "fear" either of you?
has your dh ever tried to be the mean one?
leo is completely laxed and i overhear him and josh..josh acting a way with him that i could not imagine how leo can stand there and take it.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Sorry Di.
*hugs*

3 is def worse but sometimes you have to be the tougher one here...and I mean, NO TOY at TRU!

I let G get dressed on her own, and its a fight every am that she cant and I know she can.

I start taking things away, so she knows I mean BIZ because I am the yeller as well.

At this point, yep,...I would dress him and put him in the car, NO CHOICE!

Even if hes kicking and fighting, mommy is the boss.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

I don't think you are bad at all. one bit.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

I could have written this post word for word.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Well he stayed up there for 45 minutes. He called for me after about 30 - I went up there, explained about why what he did was bad and asked him to say sorry. He didn't.

I left him in his room and then about 15 mins later he called for me again, and said sorry this time.

Janice, I am the one who does the disciplining. DH isn't home that much - but he does get stern when he needs to.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Posted by Janice

Posted by Diana1215



Janice, I am the one who does the disciplining. DH isn't home that much - but he does get stern when he needs to.

that is good he gets stern.

it is just that you are my fave person on here and I can't imagine you as the bad guy

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by Diana1215

Well he stayed up there for 45 minutes. He called for me after about 30 - I went up there, explained about why what he did was bad and asked him to say sorry. He didn't.

I left him in his room and then about 15 mins later he called for me again, and said sorry this time.

Janice, I am the one who does the disciplining. DH isn't home that much - but he does get stern when he needs to.

so what will happen now?

he said he's sorry, but will he get dressed? will you go out with you peacefully?

Re: My son is driving me crazy

I guess I'm a mean mom

I would have forcibly dressed him and put him in the car... no toy at TRU. My DD pulled this ish when the little one was born, and it was a no-go on this end. Did it make my life a living hell for a little while until she realized her behavior was not going to fly? Absolutely. It was awful.

I'm not judging you... I know the feeling of having to walk away from a child. My mom said it best when I was about 15, "I'm going to leave the room now, because if I don't leave I'm going to hit you, and if I start hitting you, I'm never going to stop." But just know that he won this round with you, and he knows that he won.

And LOTS of for you because going from 2 to 3 is SO FREAKIN HARD!!!!

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Posted by booklove83

I guess I'm a mean mom

I would have forcibly dressed him and put him in the car... no toy at TRU. My DD pulled this ish when the little one was born, and it was a no-go on this end. Did it make my life a living hell for a little while until she realized her behavior was not going to fly? Absolutely. It was awful.

I'm not judging you... I know the feeling of having to walk away from a child. My mom said it best when I was about 15, "I'm going to leave the room now, because if I don't leave I'm going to hit you, and if I start hitting you, I'm never going to stop." But just know that he won this round with you, and he knows that he won.

And LOTS of for you because going from 2 to 3 is SO FREAKIN HARD!!!!

Re: My son is driving me crazy

My son can be really naughty too!! Sometimes I have to threaten him with no tv time or no toys! Its just a phase they will grow up out of soon. but you have to punish them, like taking away their favourite toy, but you have to be persistent or they will walk all over you.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

I know, it's a challenge everyday. That's part of the reason I get up at 5:15-5:30 for our 7:45am departure everyday. I try to be completely ready before they wake up. I never know what kind of mood Elizabeth will be in. If I can get her dressed right when she gets up, the morning usually goes smoothly. If she refuses to get dressed right away, the morning usually turns into a nightmare. I yell a lot and I always use the ""Ok, then I am taking Alexandra to school and you can stay here by yourself bit. I know it's bad, but it works.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

He seems like one of those "strong willed" children =). I have one of those. He did win this round but you don't have to feel like it will be an exhausting battle (even though I know it is and I only have 2). With my DS I give him a choice. I know some people say "never give a child a choice, your the adult" well with strong willed kids it works. The trick is you always win with the choice you give him. In that situation, as soon as he went to his room I would say, "We are leaving in 5 minutes, either you come down and listen to me so you can get a toy, or you don't listen and don't get a toy, either way we are leaving in 5 minutes". This works Very well with my DS because he feels like he has control of a piece of the event even if he has to "give in" to me by listening.

ETA: it take a few times of reinforcement but eventually DS would just say ...FINE

Message edited 10/7/2010 1:27:17 PM.

Message edited 9/21/2011 1:40:59 PM.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Posted by sweetie

i've said this before, throw or take his toys away, don't bribe him. Let him see u actually put something in the trash. He will fight & be mad but after a few times he will know u are serious.

Re: My son is driving me crazy

Awwww D, this sounds like an exhausting, infuriating way to start the day, I'm so sorry And really, "knowing" you as I do (i.e. virtually-for now) I also KNOW you're one of the best moms, with all the qualities a "best mom" needs!!!

Here's the only thing that stuck out to me - don't make a threat you can't/won't follow through on - i.e., we're going to leave without you. You know you're not going to do that, and more importantly, JACK knows you're not going to do that. They might be small but they see right through that sh*t So no bluffing. Only threaten what you WILL do. That doesn't "weaken" you as a parent, it actually EMPOWERS you to punish and instill the lesson, kwim? Whereas an empty threat empowers the behavior you're trying to stop.

This is a dumb question but it seems like a power play almost.... Getting in Jack's head a little bit... mommy wants to go somewhere but *I* control where we go and what we do and that's the way it is and she NEEDS to understand that. It seems like it's not even ABOUT leaving, or TRU, or new slinkies, kwim??? Maybe he just likes being "in control" of stuff???? Or thinking he is????

Is there a way to play to that, like making the trip HIS IDEA (Jack, I need to buy a thingie for Mom/Dad/Tyler - where do you think we should go to get that, Jack? Make it a softball question kwim, don't ask him where to buy an obscure item ) or giving him a "job" to do once you get there??? ("Jack, I need your help; we have this widgetthingiemabob to buy/return/find/drop off at (name the location) and I don't think I know how/where/what to do about that. Can YOU help mommy do/find/buy/return it??")

I'm not articulating this in a great way but it seems like leaving the house is a "negative"to him - what buttons can you push to make it "positive" - other than a bribe with new toys which clearly doesn't work, kwim???