What to do with the quiet child?

Ella isn't opening up at school. She was making some progress but after our recent vacation she has regressed into not really talking or interacting in class. The teacher mentioned it to me today, and it makes me want to cry.

She says she likes school. She wants to go there. She tells me about the things she does during the day and seems to enjoy it. She mentions making friends. But the teachers give a much different impression - not talking, no interaction, having to coax her to do/say anything. The other kids saying "Ella doesn't talk".

She's such a happy, cheerful, bright little girl. Full of energy at home. She can be reserved and introspective at times, and I know she's not a social butterfly, but I don't understand why she's not interacting more, with the students or teachers.

This is the same small school she was in last year, with almost all of the same kids, so its not a new environment for her. She should have "warmed" up to it by now

How do I help her?

eta: she's almost 4.5yrs old

Message edited 11/10/2010 10:25:23 AM.

Re: What to do with the quiet child?

My niece is in a local theater group. That really helped her open up. DS opened up a lot when he started team sports.
I would encourage having her join social type activities where communication is required.

Re: What to do with the quiet child?

How does she do with play dates? Does she open up one on one with other children? Its probably still a comfort thing. She is having fun and talking about friends so she is getting there.

I would invite one or two of her friends from school over for a play date. Before the play date I would coach her a little on her conversational skills and go over the plan for the play date. Put her in a leadership position on her own turf and help her along.

Re: What to do with the quiet child?

Message edited 11/10/2010 12:20:51 PM.

Re: What to do with the quiet child?

I read that and all I can think of is my own child, A. He was, and still is to some extent, just like that. He has grown out of it sooo much, but will always be that kind of child. He's his own person, doesn't easily join the group of boys playing. And he doesn't complain at all, he's happy. But it bothers me a tad. He has a tiny class (14 kids) and will more than likely be with them through 8th grade. I want him to bond with them all and be invited to things because they like him, not because school rules say all the kids have to be invited if you send the invites in through school

I did find that his taking a Karate class, t-ball last year and now basketball where he is around more children he is not in class with every day has helped. He's more outgoing, a little more ambitious, etc. He really broke out of his shell mid-way through K.

Message edited 11/10/2010 7:20:53 PM.

Re: What to do with the quiet child?

I agree that outside activities may help. She may need a little social confidence boost. Something that she can feel accomplished at.

DS is really enjoying Tae Kwon Do and Scouting. I think his self confidence has really grow with the help of these two activities.

Re: What to do with the quiet child?

My DD is almost 3.5 and is the same. She is in her second year of nursery school and in the same school with half the class being the same as las year. She goes 3 half days a week and is still crying each and every time I drop her off. She stops after 2 minutes but it is still draining while trying to drop her off. She will wonder around or play by herself before walking up to a little girl and playing with her. One on one for play dates she is still a follower and quiet.
I wanted to put her in dance but when I brought her there to take a trial class she was hysterical and wouldn't even let me speak to the director so that is out.
I am really dreading next year because my DS will not be in the same school as her and I know she needs him for security and I think that is part of the problem this year. There rooms aren't across from each other and I drop him off at the gym and she doesn't like that.

I am introverted too but I just hope she grows out of this.

Re: What to do with the quiet child?

I think getting her involved in activities is a great suggestion - thanks. I do think a lot of it steams from insecurities.

She's expressed interest in gymnastics and dance, though neither of those are really "team" oriented. She takes swim, but its one on one.

Thanks for the suggestions

Re: What to do with the quiet child?

Posted by -Lisa-

I think getting her involved in activities is a great suggestion - thanks. I do think a lot of it steams from insecurities.

She's expressed interest in gymnastics and dance, though neither of those are really "team" oriented. She takes swim, but its one on one.

Thanks for the suggestions

Re: What to do with the quiet child?

Lisa, dance is very much team orineted and I think it helps with confidence a lot. She would be in a class of 10+ other girls/boys and they all will have to work together and help each other. At least that is how it's been for Lauren. She has been going to dance with the most of the same girls since she was 3 and is very close to them. It's wonderful and sweet. I think if she expresses the interest in it, go for it. Are you close to Massapequa? Mt cousin owns a couple dance studios there and is the children's teacher. She's wonderful and has her own 3 yr. old.
btw- I don't think she is sooo shy, although I haven't been around her a whole lot but the times I have she's all smiles and chatter

Message edited 11/12/2010 7:48:45 AM.

Re: What to do with the quiet child?

Posted by LisaI

btw- I don't think she is sooo shy, although I haven't been around her a whole lot but the times I have she's all smiles and chatter