Say something or MYOB

Overheard at a playdate for 9 year olds:

I went to a party with ___ & his dad. It was great - we stayed until after 10 too. We were really tired but his dad wasn't ready to go... then ___'s dad gave us Red Bull to wake us up.

My son asks "What's Red Bull?"

the playdate answers, "It's an energy drink like Monster. I'm not allowed to have them but ___'s dad said it was ok."

___'s family is going through a rough time right now - parents divorcing, a drug issue (not the dad) in the family. The playdate also volunteered that he had a ton of sleepovers at this kids house this summer.

Other than a mental note not to let my kid over ____'s house because of the supervision that I'm not comfortable with....do I mention it to playdate's mom/dad or MYOB?

Just a note: The playdate didn't seem to be embellishing at all, the Red Bull was more part of the story as to "what was the latest you ever stayed up?" conversation.

I should add that I dont' know the mom very well but I do know that she seems to be close the family.

Message edited 11/28/2010 2:01:53 PM.

Re: Say something or MYOB

yes I would whether I am a parent or not.

Re: Say something or MYOB

I would tell.

DH (an elementary school teacher) also said tell. He also added "Would you tell if he handed the kid a double espresso? Taurine is not for children."

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I would want someone to tell me if they heard my kid was having something they should not while at a friend's house... so yeah.. I'd mention it to the playdate's mom. I'd do it in a way that didn't make it seem like I knew more about her kid than she did though. Kind of like "Hey did X tell you about the Red Bull incident at Y's house?".

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I would say something. *I* wouldn't drink redbull, let alone give it to a 10 year old.

But forget the redbull part. What kind of party was it?

Did the mom KNOW her kid was going to a party with this other kid?

I think those might be some other issues.

Message edited 11/28/2010 2:15:58 PM.

Re: Say something or MYOB

I'm not a parent yet, but I think that I would say something to the playdate's mother. If someone was giving my child something that I did not approve of him or her eating or drinking, I would want to know. Red Bull is not for children. I won't even put it into my own body!

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if that were my child...Id want to know. So yes, Id say something.

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I would say something. The kid is only 9. I think everyone is entitled to an element of privacy, but at 9, especially when you know that this went on, I would say something! In fact, since the kid specifically said he's not allowed to have it and he did- I would think it's part of your responsibility to let the other parent know Just my thought anyway.. I'm not a parent but I am a school teacher in a middle school.

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I would say something because as a parent I would want to know if someone gave my child red bull. I would never drink that, let alone give it to my son. Plus it can cause health issues... I just wouldn't be comfortable not saying something.

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As a parent I would want to know. I would tell the play date's mom what you overheard. Let her decide what she'd wants to do with the information.

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If I was good friends with the mom, then I would mention it, otherwise, I would file it away and MYOB.

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She seems to know the family --unless knowing about the divorce/drug thing is heresay...

in which case I would say something.

Maybe like...

"I feel sort of weird about saying something but look, I overheard yourkid and mykid talking and he said this...

... I would want someone to tell me if it was mykid."

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Unless I was BFF with the mom I would MYOB. While in a perfect world it would make sense to tell her, these things dont alwasy work out correctly. Maybe I am negative but this is what I see hapening.... You mention it, she calls out the kid on the spot about it in front of you and/or your son, the kid is scared and lies, the mom is confused, your son is upset with you, the kid doesnt want to have playdates ect... the whole thing becomes akward.

Sometimes the best intentions dont play out right. But I would def keep an ear open to be sure I didnt hear of anything else more dangerious going on

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Prime example of it takes a village...I would say something.

Re: Say something or MYOB

I did say something. I was hesitant for exactly the reasons curley mentioned.

She came in when she picked him up. I said "I feel kind of funny saying this & debated minding my own business - plus you probably already know it but I overhear the kids talking & (playdate) mentioned that he was given Red Bull at a party. I know if it were something more serious, I wouldn't hesitate to tell you but I was on the fence about the Red Bull thing - plus he did say that he wasn't allowed to have them."

She was visibly taken aback - not because I told her but because her kid knows he's not allowed to have them, had it & didn't mentioned it. She asked if I thought it was showing off & I told her the showing off part was about how late you stayed up, not that you drank Red Bull. I filled her in on the details of where & who. She was very grateful. She did say that ___'s father doesn't seem like the type that would do that.

She said to please not hesitate in telling her anything like that & she'll do the same for me.

Honestly, given that ____'s mom has already volunteered that she lets her 16 year old & his friends play beer pong at her house so at least she knows where they are - I easily see this happening with the dad. I do know there are major issues in the house - and I've had ___ over to my house numerous times because I do want him to feel some stability. It kills me because this kid has such a good heart & I know from speaking to his mom that he's being asked on less & less playdates these days. We both agree that we would have him over our house versus letting ours stay over there.

She once dropped her son off for a playdate where the older brother was watching until the dad got home. As she drove away saw the older brother's friends drive up & go into the house. She turned the car around & took both younger kids to her house

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Im glad you said something and glad that she was happy you told her about it.

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Id' probably say something in a non-chalant way. Like i overheard they were drinking red bull, and i dont think that I want my kid drinking that. And see how the other parent is.

Every person has their own set of things they will give their kids. My 9 yr old DD and her 9 & 11 yr old friends ran a 5k race last month. And at the end of the race. they all got the promotional bags on top of the standard t-shirt for running it. Inside these bags, which BTW were designed to give to the kids, was protein enery shots, 5 hour energy, etc. While me i told my DD she can't have it and threw if out. The other parent's let their kids have them.

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