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Dulcinea
Weekend Warrior
Member since 3/08 2530 total posts
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Dulcinea
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Told to leave work for the day
A close friend of mine just called me distraught because her boss told her to leave work for the day and return on Monday.
Apparently, she cussed at someone at work and that someone reported it to the boss. It wasn't the first incident like that. My friend has abit of an anger issue and has had verbal altercations before with that same person and another in a different dept.
I'm really worried for her 'cus it's the holidays and am afraid her boss may be making preparations to fire her while she's out.
Has this happened to anyone before? What's your advice for someone like that? She's very hardworking and has alot of experience at her job, but sometimes gets too hotheaded. Would you tell her to go back to work and plead her case to the boss today. There may be a chance that it's too late if she goes back Monday. *sigh*
Thanks for reading!
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Posted 12/3/10 10:14 AM  |
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Samira0407
Love being a Mom
Member since 6/08 4030 total posts
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Re: Told to leave work for the day
sorry-it might just be part of their HR policy. I'm sure they have to discuss some sort of action to take to make sure there is no hostility in the work place. Hopefully everything will be ok!
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| Posted 12/3/10 10:34 AM |
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Re: Told to leave work for the day
Has she ever been written up for it and counseled before? I believe that most places are required to document the behavior before just letting someone go.
With that said though, maybe it will take a firing for her to get her anger under control. She needs to take responsibility for her actions and not have people feel sorry for her.....sounds like that is part of the problem right there.
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| Posted 12/3/10 10:37 AM |
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Dulcinea
Weekend Warrior
Member since 3/08 2530 total posts
Name:
Dulcinea
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Re: Told to leave work for the day
Posted by mzsocialworker1
Has she ever been written up for it and counseled before? I believe that most places are required to document the behavior before just letting someone go.
With that said though, maybe it will take a firing for her to get her anger under control. She needs to take responsibility for her actions and not have people feel sorry for her.....sounds like that is part of the problem right there.
She works for a small company so people do remember these things even w/o documentation. Her boss has had to intervened on other occasions when she had altercations with her coworkers.
She knows she has problems and has gone through counseling in the past when she was a child and now refuses to go through more because she doesn't think it helps her. I disagreed and have urged her repeatedly to go get some anger management help. She gets angry too easily even though she may be in the wrong...
I don't suppose it would help for her to plead her case if she doesn't like working there, maybe it's better to let things run its course so she's more motivated to find a better job environment. :(
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| Posted 12/3/10 11:13 AM |
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Re: Told to leave work for the day
Posted by Dulcinea
Posted by mzsocialworker1
Has she ever been written up for it and counseled before? I believe that most places are required to document the behavior before just letting someone go.
With that said though, maybe it will take a firing for her to get her anger under control. She needs to take responsibility for her actions and not have people feel sorry for her.....sounds like that is part of the problem right there.
She works for a small company so people do remember these things even w/o documentation. Her boss has had to intervened on other occasions when she had altercations with her coworkers.
She knows she has problems and has gone through counseling in the past when she was a child and now refuses to go through more because she doesn't think it helps her. I disagreed and have urged her repeatedly to go get some anger management help. She gets angry too easily even though she may be in the wrong...
I don't suppose it would help for her to plead her case if she doesn't like working there, maybe it's better to let things run its course so she's more motivated to find a better job environment. :(
Honestly, I think it needs to run its course. I know A LOT of people with anger issues who refuse help and many times.....no ALWAYS......it takes something like this for them to realize they need to get help.
Either that or they continue to remain in denial and blame everyone else. 
I get angry at my job too.....I deal with some really crazy people (and I am NOT talking about clients either). I have on occasion had to say to them I am going to walk away from the situation because I KNOW I will then say something unprofessional.
Often when you have time to cool down, you see how silly it is and it's not really a big deal (or there are other ways to work with a situation).
I don't know what else to say really though. In ANY job you are going to come across people who are difficult, if not impossible to deal with. She needs to learn how to work it out, choose her battles, etc.
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| Posted 12/3/10 11:20 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: Told to leave work for the day
Honestly, You can tippy toe around the real answer but SHE is causing her OWN problem. You the friend are trying to figure this out for her bc you are being just that...a friend. The ONLY advice i see going fwd is that she learns to better manage her communication skills. She has absolutely NO right at all in a workplace to cuss out anyone, under any circumstances. I think there should be zero tolerance policy for this. If she knows she has a problem then I suggest she talk it over with HR and maybe they can get her into an anger mngmnt program but for them to keep forgiving a person who is cussing out staff, that just is unacceptable. Imagine if you were in these other peoples shoes and getting cussed out. Apparently they arent cussing her out bc they are handling it professionally. she needs to take a step back before putting her foot in her mouth. Especially since like you said, its a small company. You are a good friend for trying to help her out but this really is her problem.
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| Posted 12/3/10 9:55 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Told to leave work for the day
I've seen people asked to leave & when they came back they were fired.
While it's smart for the company to document the behavior (particulary if they are going to dispute unemployment), they can fire her without cause anytime (and she did give them cause). Outside of unions & collective bargaining agreements, it's employment at will.
She needs to get help. Excusing her behavior as "hot-headed" isn't helpful to her. She needs to learn to control her anger or she will find herself unemployable.
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| Posted 12/4/10 1:47 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
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Kim
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Re: Told to leave work for the day
I would tell her to wait a few days to hear from her boss and if she hasn't heard than to call.
I would also tell her she needs to learn to count to 10.
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| Posted 12/4/10 4:42 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
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Re: Told to leave work for the day
Posted by Dulcinea
A close friend of mine just called me distraught because her boss told her to leave work for the day and return on Monday.
Apparently, she cussed at someone at work and that someone reported it to the boss. It wasn't the first incident like that. My friend has abit of an anger issue and has had verbal altercations before with that same person and another in a different dept.
I'm really worried for her 'cus it's the holidays and am afraid her boss may be making preparations to fire her while she's out.
Has this happened to anyone before? What's your advice for someone like that? She's very hardworking and has alot of experience at her job, but sometimes gets too hotheaded. Would you tell her to go back to work and plead her case to the boss today. There may be a chance that it's too late if she goes back Monday. *sigh*
Thanks for reading!
She should go back on Monday since that was what she was directed to do prepared to apologize and outline what she intends to do to prevent this from happening again...something concrete not "i'll try not to do it again" since this is a recurring issue.
If she were my friend, I would advise her to go in and IMMEDIATELY apologize to the person she cursed out. The apology should be in the same manner as the argument - if she publicly cursed her out, she should publicly apologize.
But it is quite possible they are preparing to terminate her. Like Paulette said, this is completely unacceptable office behavior especially since it's a recurring problem. It is creating an uncomfortable work environment for her co-workers and it the company's responsibility to provide one. In a semi-similar situation, my company would be having conversations with the employment practices attorney and possibly putting together a termination package.
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| Posted 12/4/10 5:15 PM |
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