? re gift giving

Don't know where to put this but here we go :) I have a son from before I got married and every yr for Christmas I have him pick up a little something at the school fair for his dad, cousin (from his dads side) and sister (his dad had another child) however this yr my son said they didn't have anything good so didn't get them anything. Well when Christmas came he asked what was he gonna give them and I said I guess nothing you didn't pick out anything for them. Well my sister said that I should take him to the store and buy gifts for all of them from him because they give him gifts so he should give them gifts. Wouldn't that be his dads job to get gifts and say they are from my son?

So question is should I normally buy gifts for all his family because they give him gifts or do I just buy for his dad or I don't have to buy for anyone it's his dads job?? So confused with all this stuff. I didn't mind give him a few $ for the fair gifts but my son is 13 and I think next yr is the last yr of the fairs but if I have to start buying things at the stores for everyone it's gonna get even my family don't exchange for everyone just the kids get gifts.
Thanks for any opinions

edited to add I did end up getting a gift for his sis and cousin- I figured I would just get the kids as I would in my family

Message edited 12/28/2010 10:03:04 AM.

Re: ? re gift giving

i think it is your responsibility to take him to buy his dad a gift. now- I think it is his dad's thing to take him to get anything else for extended family, but since it has been several years you have been taking responsibility of it by supplying the $$ for the school fair gifts- it is something you should discuss with his dad- if possible. Or tell DS that he needs to ask Dad to take him to get gifts now.

Re: ? re gift giving

personally I think its his Dads job to buy for the extended
also I dont think its your responsibility to get your sons father a gift from him unless your son asks specifically....does his Dad buy you a gift and say its from your son??

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I know what you mean....I just find it uncomfortable buying a gift for my ex

thats why my DDs stepmom takes care of that for me
you know I love ya Meliss lol

Re: ? re gift giving

Posted by MamaNDaddyof3

I know what you mean....I just find it uncomfortable buying a gift for my ex

thats why my DDs stepmom takes care of that for me
you know I love ya Meliss lol

Re: ? re gift giving

I can only tell you what we used to do back when we were on a regular visitation schedule with SD...

We never bought anything for my SD's BM....Her step-father I assume did that, just as I as her stepmother took her shopping for my DH...Her BM is not a nice person so maybe thats why

I guess the "problem" with your situation is that you have been doing it for so long that it becomes awkward to stop ...

Maybe you can teach your DS to "save up" for Christmas to buy an inexpensive gift for the whole family, or maybe even have him bake them cookies or something edible along those lines that don;t cost a lot of $ but keep the sentiment there ?

Re: ? re gift giving

At 13 does he get an allowance? I think once that enters into the equation, he should save his own money for gifts for his dad, his mom and anyone else that he wants to buy for.

I don't think you need to buy gifts for his dad's side. I think that falls under his responsibility. If you don't have a relationship with the dad, you should have him talk to his dad about a budget for next year.

Re: ? re gift giving

DD is 4.5 and I am divorced from her Dad. I buy a little something for him FROM HER, $10 or so. He usually does the same....after she reminds him. Neither of us are re married though at this point. I dont buy gifts for the rest of his family..thats his responsibility IMO. I definately think you should speak with him about next year ahead of time since youve been doing it every year. Id let him know you are going to stop and its his job to ake him shopping for his family. You could still buy a little something for just his dad from DS if you are comfortable with that.

These situations are so hard. I never know the right thing to do. I always get DD to atleast make a little card or something for Fathers Day or ex's Bday - he never does the same for me. Its so upsetting that my SO has started making sure DD does something for Mothers Day.

Re: ? re gift giving

Thanks everyone for your opinions. Well I guess because like someone mentioned before since I started this when he was young it just felt funny not to have something. However found out that my sons dad gives the entire family gifts and says they are from my son and his dads dtr. So that's a relief Just never thought about asking I guess. Also when I said that to my son he said but he still likes to give them a little something just from him so I told him that's fine. He must be my sisters kid Thanks

Re: ? re gift giving

My mom always gave me money to buy presents for my dad, step mother, half brother and sister.. not a lot- but she did give it to me @ that age.

I *think* I remember my dad giving me money for my mom- although I'm not sure.

Re: ? re gift giving

With my DSS (who is 14) we take him to get gifts for his mom for Christmas, mother's day and b'day. She has two more children with his step-dad, we don't take him shopping for them that is her responsibility.

She does the same for us, she takes DSS shopping for DH but not for our son.