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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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What is an appropriate response?
I was at my friend K's house yesterday for her DS's first birthday - just a small GTG with dinner and cake.
K's friend was there with her daughter and they brought Christmas gifts for K's older DD as well.
I only brought a birthday gift for her DS because me, K and another friend will be exchanging holiday gifts today.
At one point in the night K's daughter(who is 3.5) asked me "Did you bring any presents for me?"
I was in shock - I mean, I know it's probably normal for her age but I didn't know what to say! I said, excuse me? And she repeated herself 
Her mother was not in the room, or else I know she would have said something. All I told her was that I had a present for her and I'd give it to her tomorrow. She then asked to see it now - I had to tell her it was at home (which was the truth).
Is it my place, at all, to say anything else? I don't even know what I could have said... that it's not nice to ask for gifts?
I know my friend - she has no problem with other adults disciplining her DD/DS, and I feel the same way - if I don't see it and someone else does please feel free to say something to my kids! But this was a weird sort of in-between situation.
So.... WWYD?
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Posted 12/31/10 8:16 AM  |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
Are you sure it wasn't Jack you were talking to?
At Christmas this kid walked around asking my family "More presents please!" -- My cousins were like "Give me something else for the kid  " it was such a sad sight.
I think you said the right thing, but if it were my kid I would have wanted you to tell me (in a joking manner of course) -- "Yea, Jack just asked me for his Christmas present" - that way I could address it with him that it's rude to ask for presents etc. KWIM?
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| Posted 12/31/10 8:19 AM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
Okay I'm confused. Did someone else have a gift for K's daughter?
If so, I'd say "I'm sorry, I don't have a present for you...but _____ does!"
Something like that.
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| Posted 12/31/10 8:20 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
Diana, thanks - next time I will be sure to mention it to my friend. I was thinking of doing that but didn't know if it would make me sound like a b!tch!!
Posted by maybeamommy
Okay I'm confused. Did someone else have a gift for K's daughter?
If so, I'd say "I'm sorry, I don't have a present for you...but _____ does!"
Something like that.
She had already opened a gift from another friend, and she wanted more, so she asked me if I brought her one
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| Posted 12/31/10 8:27 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
Posted by maybeamommy
Okay I'm confused. Did someone else have a gift for K's daughter?
If so, I'd say "I'm sorry, I don't have a present for you...but _____ does!"
Something like that.
I would have done it very casually. "I feel bad X asked me for her Christmast gift" - or "X is too funny, she's looking for her Christmas gift" -- and then take it from there 
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| Posted 12/31/10 8:30 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
No, I wouldn't say anything to the mom. 3 years olds are very into themselves by nature, so it wouldn't shock me that she asked you that.
I would have just said, "I'm sorry, honey, I don't have anything for you today." and left it at that.
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| Posted 12/31/10 8:54 AM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
Posted by BaroqueMama
No, I wouldn't say anything to the mom. 3 years olds are very into themselves by nature, so it wouldn't shock me that she asked you that.
I would have just said, "I'm sorry, honey, I don't have anything for you today." and left it at that.
I agree. I don't necessarily think it is behavior that needs to be addressed just yet. Unless she was throwing a tantrum after you said no, I can see a 3 year old asking for a present, especially at holiday time when there are so many presents being given and talked up (santa, etc.). I don't think it's a big deal.
My 3 year old nephew did the same thing, and I can totally picture DS doing it.
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| Posted 12/31/10 8:57 AM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
I think what you said was fine. I don't think in that situation I'd correct the friends child. Its very normal at that age, especially days after Christmas at her sisters birthday party. I probably would have just said no, I'm sorry, I don't. But who knows where she may have gone with it
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| Posted 12/31/10 9:04 AM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
my cousins two children celebrated Christmas with us (their grandparents brought them, my cousin has been away on business and his wife is in Thailand because her mother had a stroke)...
I forgot that they might be there and didnt bring gifts for them. They live in NC so I was really thrown and felt awful. My mom and brothers bought gifts for them but they didnt have as much to open as Jack or Sophia. At one point, they were BOTH asking where their gifts were   They are 3 and 2. I felt awful but just told them that Santa left their gifts at their house... I didnt know what else to say.
Its normal for the age. They are VERY egocentric at this age. Mine, mine mine.
You did fine!
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| Posted 12/31/10 9:21 AM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
Posted by BaroqueMama
No, I wouldn't say anything to the mom. 3 years olds are very into themselves by nature, so it wouldn't shock me that she asked you that.
I would have just said, "I'm sorry, honey, I don't have anything for you today." and left it at that.
ITA. If the kid was like 6 or 7, it'd be a different story. But a 3.5 year old? IMO, no big deal.
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| Posted 12/31/10 9:53 AM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
I really don't think that was a big deal. No need for any comment.
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| Posted 12/31/10 4:06 PM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
Posted by jambalady
Posted by BaroqueMama
No, I wouldn't say anything to the mom. 3 years olds are very into themselves by nature, so it wouldn't shock me that she asked you that.
I would have just said, "I'm sorry, honey, I don't have anything for you today." and left it at that.
I agree. I don't necessarily think it is behavior that needs to be addressed just yet. Unless she was throwing a tantrum after you said no, I can see a 3 year old asking for a present, especially at holiday time when there are so many presents being given and talked up (santa, etc.). I don't think it's a big deal.
My 3 year old nephew did the same thing, and I can totally picture DS doing it.
Agree
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| Posted 12/31/10 4:10 PM |
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maddysmommy
LIF Infant
Member since 8/08 304 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is an appropriate response?
Posted by twicethefun
I really don't think that was a big deal. No need for any comment.
Agreed.
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| Posted 12/31/10 4:19 PM |
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