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Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

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Hidingfromlurkers
LIF Zygote

Member since 1/11

7 total posts

Name:

Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Im not hiding from LIF just the casual lurker.....If you figure out at some point who I am on LIF please feel free to FM me. But please keep any identifying comments off of this thread.

We found out today that a pedophile, posing as a 12 year old boy, had been contacting one of my daughters.

I say "had been" b/c, since she wouldnt send him naked pictures of herself he got bored with her.

I am simply beside myself..

I check their email accounts and their facebook pages on an almost daily basis. It's still not enough..

Im trying to find the strength in the fact that my daughter essentially did the "right" thing. But Im shocked that she was so easily swayed by someone that she thought was interested in her.

I dont know what to do with this information. How do you we find this guy?

What steps do we take?

Posted 1/8/11 8:24 PM
 

FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic

Member since 6/05

10212 total posts

Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Definitely contact the authorities. They will be able to find him through whatever sites she was talking with him through (at least they can on those shows!).
I am so glad you were able to find out before it went any further Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/8/11 8:26 PM
 

brownie
Baby #1 is here!

Member since 11/08

13903 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Did you contact authorities?

Posted 1/8/11 8:29 PM
 

CathyB

Member since 5/05

19403 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Check your county PD website, they all have internet crime divisions which I think would be the best bet.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

ETA: Also maybe major crimes division, they usually deal with sexual crimes.

Message edited 1/8/2011 8:33:08 PM.

Posted 1/8/11 8:30 PM
 

Hidingfromlurkers
LIF Zygote

Member since 1/11

7 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Posted by brownie

Did you contact authorities?



I havent yet. We just found this out this afternoon. I wanted to process the information before I proceeded. Had he still been contacting her I would have handled things differently.

Posted 1/8/11 8:32 PM
 

MarathonKnitter
HAPPY

Member since 2/07

17374 total posts

Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

i'm so proud of her for not doing anything this sicko wanted. as you said, take strength in her being smart about that.

as others have said, reach out to the authorities, there must me some like of cyber trail that he left behind

Posted 1/8/11 8:41 PM
 

WhatNow
Say Cheese!

Member since 1/06

8033 total posts

Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

OMG! I am SO glad to hear that you found out about this and that she actually made the right decision on her own!

I think should actually go the your local police precinct and speak to someone there. Bring printouts of the conversations you are referring to, anything you think might be useful in proving your case and starting a search for this guy!!!

If they refuse to do anything I would call the local TV station, congressperson, etc, etc... anyone with a public voice!

Can I ask: how did you figure out that this "person" is not a 12 year old boy? Just by following the conversations they had and figuring it out? I only ask because I have a daughter myself...

Posted 1/8/11 8:47 PM
 

curiousgeorge
LIF Adolescent

Member since 10/10

867 total posts

Name:
MAMA

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

You should immediately file a report with yor local law-enforcement agency (scpd or ncpd). Also file a report with NCMEC(National Center for Missing and Exploited Children). Save copies of all messages , don't delete anything. The LEA will need the messages so that they can trace the IP address.

https://secure.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/CybertipServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US



Posted 1/8/11 8:59 PM
 

Hidingfromlurkers
LIF Zygote

Member since 1/11

7 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Posted by WhatNow

OMG! I am SO glad to hear that you found out about this and that she actually made the right decision on her own!

I think should actually go the your local police precinct and speak to someone there. Bring printouts of the conversations you are referring to, anything you think might be useful in proving your case and starting a search for this guy!!!

If they refuse to do anything I would call the local TV station, congressperson, etc, etc... anyone with a public voice!

Can I ask: how did you figure out that this "person" is not a 12 year old boy? Just by following the conversations they had and figuring it out? I only ask because I have a daughter myself...




Another girl my daughter is friends with was involved as well. The other parent told me.

From what I gather 2 of my daughters and this friend must have met him in a chat room or something. Both my daughter and this other girl continued emailing and chatting with him after the initial contact.

He was trying to act like a 12 year old boy with how he was wording things. But he was very obviously not a 12 year old boy. I cant explain it specifically. You just can tell that he's not a young boy.

Posted 1/8/11 9:03 PM
 

Hidingfromlurkers
LIF Zygote

Member since 1/11

7 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Posted by curiousgeorge

You should immediately file a report with yor local law-enforcement agency (scpd or ncpd). Also file a report with NCMEC(National Center for Missing and Exploited Children). Save copies of all messages , don't delete anything. The LEA will need the messages so that they can trace the IP address.

https://secure.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/CybertipServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US






Thank you...I'll look into this now...

Posted 1/8/11 9:03 PM
 

WhatNow
Say Cheese!

Member since 1/06

8033 total posts

Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Posted by Hidingfromlurkers

Posted by WhatNow

OMG! I am SO glad to hear that you found out about this and that she actually made the right decision on her own!

I think should actually go the your local police precinct and speak to someone there. Bring printouts of the conversations you are referring to, anything you think might be useful in proving your case and starting a search for this guy!!!

If they refuse to do anything I would call the local TV station, congressperson, etc, etc... anyone with a public voice!

Can I ask: how did you figure out that this "person" is not a 12 year old boy? Just by following the conversations they had and figuring it out? I only ask because I have a daughter myself...




Another girl my daughter is friends with was involved as well. The other parent told me.

From what I gather 2 of my daughters and this friend must have met him in a chat room or something. Both my daughter and this other girl continued emailing and chatting with him after the initial contact.

He was trying to act like a 12 year old boy with how he was wording things. But he was very obviously not a 12 year old boy. I cant explain it specifically. You just can tell that he's not a young boy.



Thank you for the explanation! This just proves that surveillance is everything!!! It begins with the nanny cams when they are infants and continues on with constant monitoring of all their emails and social network accounts, keeping in close touch with their friends' parents, watching, watching, watching! This is the reality! My G'd!!!

Again, so glad everything turned out the way it did!!! Please keep us posted!!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/8/11 9:12 PM
 

BargainMama
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

15657 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Internet in my house would be restricted to homework use only going forward and all other sites would be blocked, especially chat rooms. 12 year olds don't need facebook pages. It sounds like your daughter is a smart cookie, but I wouldn't be taking any chances.

Were these actual emails to your child's email address, or facebook messages? If emails, I would print them with full headers and contact the local police dept.

Message edited 1/8/2011 9:24:10 PM.

Posted 1/8/11 9:20 PM
 

SweetCin
My green-eyed boy

Member since 5/05

13499 total posts

Name:
Cin

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Posted by BargainMama

Internet in my house would be restricted to homework use only going forward and all other sites would be blocked, especially chat rooms. 12 year olds don't need facebook pages. It sounds like your daughter is a smart cookie, but I wouldn't be taking any chances.

Were these actual emails to your child's email address, or facebook messages? If emails, I would print them with full headers and contact the local police dept.



I was going to say the same...don't delete any history or anything on their computer. Print out whatever emails or such & I think there's a way to retrieve chats if it was on AOL (& others as well).

How terribly scary. Chat Icon

Posted 1/8/11 9:39 PM
 

Hidingfromlurkers
LIF Zygote

Member since 1/11

7 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Posted by BargainMama

Internet in my house would be restricted to homework use only going forward and all other sites would be blocked, especially chat rooms. 12 year olds don't need facebook pages. It sounds like your daughter is a smart cookie, but I wouldn't be taking any chances.

Were these actual emails to your child's email address, or facebook messages? If emails, I would print them with full headers and contact the local police dept.



This actually had nothing to do at all with Facebook. Their profiles are restricted and can only been seen if you are their friend.

He contacted them through another site and one that is for children.

He then emailed or chatted with them through their email accounts. On yahoo you can chat with someone without having to have instant messaging.

I have the emails that he sent them.....

Posted 1/8/11 9:44 PM
 

BargainMama
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

15657 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Posted by Hidingfromlurkers

Posted by BargainMama

Internet in my house would be restricted to homework use only going forward and all other sites would be blocked, especially chat rooms. 12 year olds don't need facebook pages. It sounds like your daughter is a smart cookie, but I wouldn't be taking any chances.

Were these actual emails to your child's email address, or facebook messages? If emails, I would print them with full headers and contact the local police dept.



This actually had nothing to do at all with Facebook. Their profiles are restricted and can only been seen if you are their friend.

He contacted them through another site and one that is for children.

He then emailed or chatted with them through their email accounts. On yahoo you can chat with someone without having to have instant messaging.

I have the emails that he sent them.....



Right...but anyone can portray a 12 year old boy on Facebook and get young kids to accept their friend requests.

Him being on a site for children is very scary. Even more of a reason to alert the authorities. Maybe they will go on and portray a child and bait him that way. Creep

Posted 1/8/11 10:05 PM
 

debidonnamom
Kindness matters

Member since 12/10

1903 total posts

Name:
Mary (MOB)

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

"one that is for children" Childrens Sites not protected even!!! Maybe they need to know? So sorry this has happened!!! Hope the person gets caught!!!!! Mary

Posted 1/8/11 10:15 PM
 

Babymakin
LIF Adult

Member since 12/10

920 total posts

Name:
Sarah

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Technology wise..

DONT erase or delete the e-mails. They CAN be tracked.

THATS what the law will use to find the perv..if the guy was stupid enough to use his home computer.

By reporting him you will help save a DIFFERENT child is not smart enough to stay away.

Posted 1/8/11 10:28 PM
 

CunningOne
***

Member since 5/05

26975 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I think the first thing you need to do is contact your local precinct and go from there. So not delete or do anything with the computer. Sounds like you have one smart DD, I hope this DB "boy" is caught!

Posted 1/8/11 10:44 PM
 

MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....

Member since 12/09

8306 total posts

Name:
Kerri

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

I think it's immensely important to report this ASAP.
He is probably doing this to multiple kids at a time... and though your daughter was smart, another one might not be.... and because of that I think it's most important to report it to the authorities ASAP. I wouldn't sit on it... not even to process it.

Posted 1/8/11 11:18 PM
 

justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!

Member since 5/05

6905 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

You have to report this. The sooner the better. The IP address is contained in all messages. After filing the report, I would then forward that information to the customer service for that site that they were on so they know that person is a possible pedophile I would also alert your child's school. It never hurts to remind parents of the dangers out there.
Bravo to your daughter for doing the right thing!!! Sorry that this happened to you.

Posted 1/9/11 10:36 AM
 

Elizabeth
Mom of Three

Member since 9/05

7900 total posts

Name:
"MOMMY!!!"

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Ugh! So scary. I am afraid of all sites - my kids love Club Penguin and my DD likes ubipets which are supposed to be safe but you never know, so scary!

I definitely echo everyone's advice about deleting nothing and calling the police ASAP. Your DD knew to do the right thing, she definitely deserves a lot of credit for that. I fear even more for the kid who is unsupervised and/or with a low self esteem who is on the computer and is willing to do anything to get acceptance, even from a stranger. My stomach hurts when I think about them getting older.

Posted 1/9/11 11:19 AM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

Chat Icon Chat Icon I am so glad your daughter stood strong. Is she aware that it's not a 12 year old boy?

There is only one way to handle this & it's to contact the police. Please don't let this one go because as you said he got bored - which likely means he moved on to someone else.

Would you mind sharing the site that they were on? I know I had this false sense of security that the children's sites - with the monitoring of "accepted words" being exchanged was sufficient.

You poor thing. I am so grateful you found out. My co-worker had an incident where his 17 year old honor student "fell in love" with a guy from Louisiana. She was on a bus to meet the guy when they tracked her down. When they tracked him down he had duct tape, knifes, etc in his car. It's so scary these days.

Posted 1/9/11 5:27 PM
 

JerseyMamaOf3
Boo!

Member since 6/05

15144 total posts

Name:

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

I am so sorry that this happened to your family and I hope they catch him.

It is such a scary world we live in.

Posted 1/9/11 6:14 PM
 

EmmyAllyDilly3
LIF Infant

Member since 9/07

73 total posts

Name:
Kathy

Re: Hi Everyone...Sorry for the fake name...

We went through almost the extact same thing with my daughter, TWICE!!! You would think she would have learned her lesson!

The first time we called the cops, the "boy" sent her explicit videos of himself and wanted her to send him ones of her. The cops took all the info and called the computer crime section of the district attorneys office but because we did not know if she sent him anything (she said she didn't) in order to have him arrested she would need to be also. Basically they would both be charged for distributing child pornography. She was grounded forever and had everything taken away (ipod, cell phone, lap top, computer privilages). This happened last January.

Fast forward to this past Sept., for her graduation from 8th grade, we gave her an iPod touch (big mistake), she was uploading dating apps and meeting "boys". ONe "boy" who told her he was 15 said things to her I don't even say to my husband, things no 14 year old should ever hear. I contacted this perv myself and said if he ever, EVER contacted her again I would call the police - I know I should have called them to begin with.

She is now basically under house arrest, she is not allowed anywhere except school and dance, again lost everything. She says she knows what she did was wrong, but I honestly don't know if she believes that.

My advice for you is to call the police, the officer that came to our house was so patient and understanding and literally tried to scare the everloving crap out of DD. Don't erase anything, print it out, save it, document it. They can get him through screen names and IP addresses as well.

Best of luck to you and just know your not alone. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/10/11 11:04 AM
 
 

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