| Posted By |
Message |
cj7305
=)
Member since 8/05 12296 total posts
Name:
|
Do you make your toddler say sorry?
Today DS threw a major tantrum and hit me. I put him in time out. He screamed the whole time but stayed. I went to get him out and told him he can't hit and to say sorry to mommy. He refused. Then hit me again! I put him back in time out. He screamed again but stayed. I went back after a few minutes and he hugged me but wouldn't say sorry. I am so frustrated. 8 1/2 months pregnant and this is killing me. How do you handle situations like this? I know this is normal but when I see my sweet boy acting like this it rips my heart out
|
Posted 3/22/11 5:32 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
Can you try "are you sorry you hit mommy?" Maybe that'll be easier for him to understand? This way he remembers that he *hit* and that he should be sorry?
|
| Posted 3/22/11 5:35 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
I do make him say sorry. I get annoyed when he tries to say it low under his breath so he knows he has to say it clearly and I know that he is trying to get away with something if he does not do that.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 5:35 PM |
| |
|
junebride06
love my boys!
Member since 2/08 3181 total posts
Name:
Robin
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
How old is he? I do this with my little guy because he needs to understand an apology is necessary and he usually says sorry mommy and wants to give me a kiss before I ask for him to now (he is 2). I would keep working on it with him and he will get it.
Message edited 3/22/2011 5:39:11 PM.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 5:38 PM |
| |
|
Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
Posted by MikesWife
Can you try "are you sorry you hit mommy?" Maybe that'll be easier for him to understand? This way he remembers that he *hit* and that he should be sorry?
ita
|
| Posted 3/22/11 5:42 PM |
| |
|
clmj2
cant believe hes gone
Member since 3/07 4407 total posts
Name:
Candice
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
yes always. have been doing this since we started time outs. i always tell her why she was in time out and she needs to give me a hug and say sorry. if she is in time out for bad behaviour towards someone else she has to say sorry to them before continuing.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 6:01 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
I always did. Even if he hugged - I would have him repeat "say SORRY"
|
| Posted 3/22/11 6:02 PM |
| |
|
sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
I always make him say sorry. And if he says it in a fresh way and refuses to say it nicely I will put him back in time out.
I feel like consistency is key.
I also have learned the way I speak to him after a time out is usually the way he will speak back to me. So if I have a little attitude, he will. Now when I go to him at the end of a time out I try to speak in a soft yet stern voice. I would say "When you hit mommy it gives mommy a boo boo. Please say sorry". And then his tone will usually mimic mine.
Message edited 3/22/2011 6:09:52 PM.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 6:09 PM |
| |
|
Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
I do and I would like them to mean it when they say it. I think it is important for them to learn. I think I'm lucky though as my girls immediately say I'm sorry now when they do something - esp when they realize what they did was wrong but maybe did it impulsively in the 1st place. But that is my parenting style. I also make my girls say thank you and please all the time. DD#1 is strong willed and has quite a personality. But she will throw a fit but will be saying No Thank you mommy! No thank you!
|
| Posted 3/22/11 6:15 PM |
| |
|
kmac
Two under two!
Member since 5/07 3703 total posts
Name:
Kris
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
Yes I do. I think it's important for him to understand he needs to apologize for his actions.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 6:18 PM |
| |
|
karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
I do not force DD to say she is sorry. I ask her how she thinks the other person feels. Usually she will say "sad" or something similar. Then I ask her if she would like to say something to make the other person feel better. Then she will say she is sorry. If she doesn't mean it, it has no meaning IMO. I want her to say it because she really feels it.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 6:18 PM |
| |
|
carlowlou
loving my babies!
Member since 4/08 4594 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
yes DD is 21 months and we do make her say sorry.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 6:19 PM |
| |
|
cj7305
=)
Member since 8/05 12296 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
Posted by MikesWife
Can you try "are you sorry you hit mommy?" Maybe that'll be easier for him to understand? This way he remembers that he *hit* and that he should be sorry?
Yes, I have tried this and sometimes he says NO! He will be 3 at the end of the month and it's only been the past few months that he has had meltdowns once in a while. Luckily a little while later out of nowhere he came over to me kissed me, hugged me and said" sorry mommy, make a happy face?" That made me feel better because I see he is internalizing how he made me feel.
Thank you for the advice, I welcome it all!
|
| Posted 3/22/11 6:21 PM |
| |
|
beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
DS is 19 months and lately he has been throwing things so when he does it I say "dont do that" in a stern voice then I take away the toy and ask him to say sorry which he does and then he screams to get the toy back.
To be honest I LOVE the way he says Sowwwwwy so I like asking him to say it
|
| Posted 3/22/11 6:32 PM |
| |
|
FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
Yes, they both need to say sorry, and give a hug and a kiss.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 6:39 PM |
| |
|
LAMGAJ28
.
Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
Posted by karacg
I do not force DD to say she is sorry. I ask her how she thinks the other person feels. Usually she will say "sad" or something similar. Then I ask her if she would like to say something to make the other person feel better. Then she will say she is sorry. If she doesn't mean it, it has no meaning IMO. I want her to say it because she really feels it.
I'm very lucky because for the most part my DS behaves very good.
For the few times my DS does something that he's not supposed to, this is my approach as well. After my DS time out is over, I go speak to him and I lowered myself to his height and speak with him doing eye contact. I explained to him what he did wrong and how he thinks someone would feel if he does that to them. He'd say I'd feel "hurt" or "sad". Then he gives me a hug and says he's sorry. Consistency is key and the younger you start with them when they start any behavior that is unacceptable, the better it is. My DS now apologizes if he does something he knows he's not supposed to and gives me a hug.
|
| Posted 3/22/11 6:41 PM |
| |
|
jprimrose
I love my little munchkins!
Member since 10/05 3939 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
I have them either say sorry or I will try not to (insert whatever they did wrong) again
|
| Posted 3/22/11 7:20 PM |
| |
|
aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
|
Re: Do you make your toddler say sorry?
Posted by clmj2
yes always. have been doing this since we started time outs. i always tell her why she was in time out and she needs to give me a hug and say sorry. if she is in time out for bad behaviour towards someone else she has to say sorry to them before continuing.
Exactly the same for us. 
|
| Posted 3/22/11 8:16 PM |
| |
|
