Q about someone who would have been due in the next few weeks

Actually, it's 2 people. One became pregnant shortly before the other. Sadly, both ended in miscarriages.

One would have been due in April, the other in June. What can I do to recognize these dates and let them know I'm thinking of them? Another friend and myself want them to know that they are in our thoughts and not just let those dates go by as if nothing happened.

Re: Q about someone who would have been due in the next few weeks

When I had my loss, some good friends of ours had a tree planted in memory of our son.


It came with a really nice printed card and some tree charms that we could put on our keychains, etc in our son's memory.

It's SO thoughtful of you to be thinking of your friends during this time. When I reached my due date, most of my friends either didn't remember/knowledge it, or they couldn't understand why I found that date so significant.


Here is a link atreeinstead

Message edited 3/26/2011 10:16:10 AM.

Re: Q about someone who would have been due in the next few weeks

I dont know if its just how I handle things but do you know that they want to be reminded. Me personally, I dont want anything around the time my baby was due. It feels like it would hurt more. Its nice of you to think of them though.

Re: Q about someone who would have been due in the next few weeks

A card, flowers, planting a tree- one of my friends sent me chocolate covered fruit... Even though people don't know what to say, it's nice to know that people are thinking of you and sending you well wishes.

Thank you for thinking of your friends. That is so incredibly kind and thoughtful

Re: Q about someone who would have been due in the next few weeks

Posted by PrincessP

I dont know if its just how I handle things but do you know that they want to be reminded. Me personally, I dont want anything around the time my baby was due. It feels like it would hurt more. Its nice of you to think of them though.

Re: Q about someone who would have been due in the next few weeks

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by PrincessP

I dont know if its just how I handle things but do you know that they want to be reminded. Me personally, I dont want anything around the time my baby was due. It feels like it would hurt more. Its nice of you to think of them though.

I kind of agree - but that also depends how on when they miscarried for me. I had a friend who had a loss at 20 weeks so her due date was def. acknowledged. I think with me, having a loss so early on - if I brought it up to friends that would be ok, but I don't know that I would want it brought up to me....if that is making any sense at all?!

Re: Q about someone who would have been due in the next few weeks

I really appreciate all of your input.

Re: Q about someone who would have been due in the next few weeks

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by PrincessP

I dont know if its just how I handle things but do you know that they want to be reminded. Me personally, I dont want anything around the time my baby was due. It feels like it would hurt more. Its nice of you to think of them though.

I kind of agree - but that also depends how on when they miscarried for me. I had a friend who had a loss at 20 weeks so her due date was def. acknowledged. I think with me, having a loss so early on - if I brought it up to friends that would be ok, but I don't know that I would want it brought up to me....if that is making any sense at all?!

Re: Q about someone who would have been due in the next few weeks

Posted by haveaquestion

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by PrincessP

I dont know if its just how I handle things but do you know that they want to be reminded. Me personally, I dont want anything around the time my baby was due. It feels like it would hurt more. Its nice of you to think of them though.

I kind of agree - but that also depends how on when they miscarried for me. I had a friend who had a loss at 20 weeks so her due date was def. acknowledged. I think with me, having a loss so early on - if I brought it up to friends that would be ok, but I don't know that I would want it brought up to me....if that is making any sense at all?!

I agree. If the loss was later it would be nice to acknowledge it. My mc was at 8 weeks and I would feel weird having a tree planted for it. Everyone handles things differently though.

Re: Q about someone who would have been due in the next few weeks

First off, I think it is soooo thoughtful of you to being thinking of your friends' m/c. If the losses were early, I wouldn't do the tree or anything like that. I would just acknowlege it and let them know you're thinking of them.

I had two m/c, both ended at 8.5 weeks. At my first due date I was just finding out that I was pregnant with (now 2.5) so I was okay. But, this time it was really hard. I was due 7 days after one of my best friends and 3 weeks before another. Those babies were just born (one came early in late Feb and one came this past Sunday). It has been very hard for me this past month knowing that I should have a newborn with them. The one that was due before me came over and we ordered in dinner (my DH was travelling and she didn't want me to be alone). I thought that was so sweet, especially considering she has two kids at home and one was only 3 weeks old!