HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

This has probably made the rounds, but as a CIO mom myself, I found this hysterical!

Dear Fellow Babies,

OK, here's my situation. My Mommy has had me for almost 5 months. The first
few months were great--I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, around
the clock. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been
trying to STTN (sleep thru the night). At first, I thought it was just a
phase, but it is only getting worse. I've talked to other babies, and it
seems like its pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 5-6
months. Here's the thing: these Mommies don't really need to sleep. It's
just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep--they just don't
need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1--cry every 3 hours until you get fed. I know, it's hard. It's hard
to see your Mommy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it's
for her own good.

Night 2--cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3--every hour.

Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly after about 3 nights.
Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These Mommies
may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don't give in. I cannot
stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through
the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I KNOW IT'S HARD! But
she really does not need the sleep; she is just resisting the change.. If
you have an especially alert Mommy, you can stop crying for about 10
minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall
asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mommy once stayed awake
for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it.

The other night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick to it
and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come up
with:
My sleep sack tickled my foot.
I felt a wrinkle under the sheet.
My mobile made a shadow on the wall.
I burped, and it tasted like rice cereal. I hadn't eaten rice cereal since
breakfast, what's up with that?
The dog said "ruff". I should know. My Mommy reminds me of this about 20
times a day. LOL.
Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the
monitor in the other room.
Too hot, too cold, just right--doesn't matter! Keep crying!!
I had drooled so much my sheets were damp and I didn't like it touching me.
I decided I was sick of all the pink in my room so I cried.

It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is
3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to
reset your Mommies' internal clocks.

Sometimes my Mommy will call for reinforcements by sending in Daddy. Don‚t
worry Daddies are not set up for not needing sleep the way Mommies are. They
can only handle a few pats and shhing before they declare defeat and send in
the Mommy.

Also, be weary of the sleep sheep with rain noises. I like to give Mommy
false hope that listening to the rain puts me to sleep sometimes I pretend
to close my eyes and be asleep and then wait until I know Mommy is settling
back to sleep to spring a surprise cry attack. If she doesn’t‚t get to me fast
enough I follow up with my fake cough and gag noise that always has her
running to the crib. At some point I am positive she will start to realize
that she really doesn’t‚t really need sleep.

P.S. Don't let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on
them, no milk will come out. Trust me.

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

LOVE IT.

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

O.M.G. That is flippin' HYSTERICAL!!!

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

I just emailed that to some of my friends - thanks for sharing

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

OMG that is hysterical!!!! LOVE IT!

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

This is my favorite part:

Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep--they just don't
need it anymore

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

LOL - I especially love:

"Don't give in. I cannot
stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through
the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I KNOW IT'S HARD! But
she really does not need the sleep; she is just resisting the change"

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

That was hysterical and so true! I like the whole fake cough and then gag thing. That's exactly what my boys do!

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

oh my god..this is hysterical!

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

love it!

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

That was great!!!

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

I think this part will be my future

"Sometimes my Mommy will call for reinforcements by sending in Daddy. Don‚t
worry Daddies are not set up for not needing sleep the way Mommies are. They
can only handle a few pats and shhing before they declare defeat and send in
the Mommy"


Too funny

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

That was great! Thanks for sharing!!!

Re: HYSTERICAL email for CIO Mom's or anyone with STTN issues~

OMG hysterical!