OUT-OF-STATE MOMS...

...with family still on Long Island.

How do you balance your time amongst the families when you visit home? DH and I put a lot of stress/pressure on ourselves to try and make sure each of our families sees DS. It almost always ends in a fight between us because we feel guilty that our respective side isn't going to see DS as much. We also dread having the "Where are we staying this time?" conversation because it's like walking on egg shells knowing the other doesn't really want to stay with the IL's.

We obviously aren't doing a good job of coming up with a better system. Just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation, and if so, how do you manage?

We always want to keep DS (he will be 5mos this month) on SOMEWHAT of a routine, which I know is nearly impossible since we are traveling 1000 miles every time we go home.

TIA, and sorry so long!

Re: OUT-OF-STATE MOMS...

My IL's still live in LI, my parents live close to us here on the Cape now.

When they were still on LI we didn't have DS but we would alternate where we would stay. Each visit we would switch. First time down we stayed with my family, then his, then mine.

Now that my parents are here, we only go to NY to visit the inlaws and we stay with FIL (he has a bigger house). But our time is always spread thin. The Inlaws make alot of big plans for us before we get there - leaving little time for anything else. And we still had tons of friends in NY. Some who DS had never even met. So we had to make our plans with friends early in the day, be hard core about naptime and then leave the evenings to DH's family. It's hard. I usually end up appearing as the bad guy since I am SO strict about naps/bedtime when we travel. DS doesn't do well without his little routine and I will never throw it to the wind for anyone's sake.

I'd say suggest splitting your time and alternating houses to stay at. It'll be hard, especially if you visit infrequently.

Message edited 4/18/2011 1:36:34 PM.

Re: OUT-OF-STATE MOMS...

We live in CT and all family is on LI. We, when we go together, stay at my FIL. We have a room in his downstairs area and a crib for dd there. I try and balance the time to both families sometimes though o ne side does not get to see her. We do the best we can. I Am a sahm so every other week I try and go visit and I stay at my parents and she sleeps in the pnp there. I know it's hard but you have to do the best you can.