Please help!!

I am at my wits end with DD. She just turned 9 and my good little girl has definitely left the building. The snottiness towards everyone is out of control. She must roll her eyes 10 times a day. Now the back talk is starting. I remember being this way with my mother at about 14-15, not 9!! I feel like we have done everything. We ground her, take away the video games, the ipod touch, the tv, the computer. That doesn't work. She does come from a divorced home, but both my ex and myself are remarried and she pulls it over there too. The lying too is out of control!! Please help... I don't know how I am going to make it through the teen years if I am having so much trouble with 9...

Re: Please help!!

No advice... my 7 yr old is the same way and nothing is working. My DS flips out when he gets punished for doing those things.

Re: Please help!!

Re: Please help!!

My 7 year old is sporting some attitude lately & my friend is dealing with the new 10 year old lunatic that replaced her normal 10 year old.

If you're grounding her from all of that & she's still acting up, you haven't found the thing she really does care about - whether that's her cell or her friends. I'm a creative punisher but utimately it's not about being punitive.

I started to call my daughter out. When she says "SO-RRY" in a snotty voice, I tell her when she says that I don't hear "sorry", I hear "I'm not sorry at all". She has been better, but I hear you. We are going to need medication either for them or us to survive their teens.

Lying gets more serious - so I think establishing some rules & consequences (more importantly being consistent) may help.

When the door slamming starts, I know my friend's dad took the door off the hinges. Last time she slammed the door.

Re: Please help!!

Thanks guys....its just so frustrating!

Re: Please help!!

It must be the age, SO's DS is going to be 9 this summer and is doing all of the same things. SO has put him to bed early, taken away video games, TV, etc etc...nothing seems to work. Id love to hear some BTDT advice. I remember being like this at 14, not so young!

Re: Please help!!

Same boat

Re: Please help!!

I'm not there yet, my guys are still little...but I have worked with older kids. Try giving a small daily reward for good behavior. Find what they love the most ie: go on-line for 40 mins, talk on phone, play date (the reward doesn't have to cost anything). Let them know that they have the opportunity to earn the reward every day. Good attitude/behavior will earn them the reward. If they don't get it Monday, they have a chance for a fresh new start on Tuesday to earn it. Often times kids lose steam trying to be perfect all week to earn something on the weekend. If they mess up on Tues, the rest of the week becomes a wash. Small daily rewards give them the chance to do the right thing every day and focuses on the positive. It also puts the power in their hands. "I want to give you this reward every day, but you control whether or not you get it" kwim

HTH


PS....someone please remind me of this when my kid is 9 and I'm pulling out my hair

Re: Please help!!

its sickening how young all this stuff happens now... i remember starting this with my parents in my teens... my DD has been at it for a couple years now and is not even 8 yet. i like little-j-mommy's advice.. im going to try that. i was doing a weekly reward thing and DD lost interest after the 1st day or two.