How can I protect my child?

My 10 year old child was recently accused of 2nd degree assault. It happened on the playground at school. A group of kids were playing tag. My child came into the game late and saw one of her friends on the ground with a bunch of kids tickling and throwing the blue recycled tire playground material on her. My child joined in and started tossing the material on the child. No teachers were in the area watching. There was pushing and shoving and laughing and shouting. It lasted a couple minutes at most. It was time to go in so they all got up and went inside. About 20 mins later the “victim “ goes to tell the principal what happened. She named 2 children neither was my child. The principal asks if she needed to see the nurse she said no she wasn’t hurt. The next day the principal talks to the 2 and decides it was game play that got too rough, she talked to them about appropriate behavior and talked to the teachers about watching better. The mother of the "victim" calls the principal and is not happy with the punishment. The next day the victim comes excitedly to my child and says I'm changing schools! That day her mother did transfer her child and the next day that child was in a new school. The victims mother then called to sheriffs office and an officer(a friend of hers) came to her house and took her(the mothers) statement then went to the victims school and took her statement. The victim again named 2 kids but not my daughter. The officer then came to my daughters school to tell the principal he was filing assault charges on 3 children including my child. He did not question the principal or the 3 accused. I found out that the mother named my child in the official report. All 3 girls had to have an appt with Juvenile Services where they were read their rights. Juvenile Services decided to close the case as all 3 girls told a very different story than the victim and they did not feel as if an assault occured. We were happy to have it end. I talked to my child about not being around this other child anymore and of not talking about what happened and not bad mouthing the other child to anyone as I really feel it is the mother causing trouble and not the childs fault. We live in a small community and I know many of the children and parents from the other school this child is now in. I've been told by more than a few parents that this child routinely talks badly to the children about my child. Both the victim and my child play softball but are on diff teams. They recently played against one another. After the game both teams run by each other slapping hands and saying good game. This was the first game of the season and I had forgotten they did this. It happened quick and all seemed fine. I asked my child how she handled it and she said I was scared to smack her hand so I just moved my hand down and ran by her. I told her that was fine. The next day the victims mother calls Juvenile Services and says my child refused to slap hands with hers and called her child a loser and that her whole team were losers. Sidenote that team kicked our butts royaly, and my child said on the way home "that "victims name" can really play softball huh?" and I said yes she is pretty good. The mother also told Juvenile Services that my child has turned all the other children at the new school against her child and something more needs to be done. If your are still reading thanks this is where I need advice. What can I do to protect my child from the lies this mother and child keep telling about my child? 3 coaches and 2 teammates say my child had no time to say anything and that it didn't happen but it comes down to my word against hers. We live in a very small community and these children will come into contact often. Next year they will be in the same middle school. Is there a way to protect my child?

Re: How can I protect my child?

I am so sorry!

It seems as though your child is the target of being bullied here and this woman is using the system.. I am so sorry..

I really don't have any experience with this but I wanted to respond to know that you've been heard and I pray it all works out!

Re: How can I protect my child?

Thank you. This is a situation I never dreamed to be in. There seems to be nothing we can do. I feel like a failure as a parent. My child is scared of this other child and her mother, scared of police officers now, and scared she is going to have to go to "Juvy" as the "victim" spread word that she was in fact sending my child there.

Re: How can I protect my child?

Childrens services have better things to do then listen to a "Mom" call and complain that your kid is being rude to another kid. They will investigate her further if she continues to call and complain about the tiniest things. It is frustrating to be in this situation but since they closed the case, I wouldn't worry too much about it. She sounds like a piece of work.

Re: How can I protect my child?

i don't have any advice...just wanted to let you know that i'm sorry you have to go through all this and things always have a way of working out and this mom will get what she deserves eventually

Re: How can I protect my child?

I am sure JS have better things to do then listen to her. She is obviously making things up and they will eventually see that. I would just avoid her and the child from now on.

Sorry this is happening to you and your child.

Message edited 4/22/2011 1:28:00 PM.

Re: How can I protect my child?

Re: How can I protect my child?

I am so mad at this lady. What if her beef with you or your daughter?!! I'm so sorry you are going through this Wish I had some advice for you.

Re: How can I protect my child?

Thank you all for responding. I was thinking of some kind of restraining order/peace order but I don't think it would be granted. The things that have been reported are petty, and of a he said she said nature. I just hate seeing my child nervous all the time over this.

Re: How can I protect my child?

Re: How can I protect my child?

I have no advice. It really sucks that this woman is teaching her child this things. You should not feel guilty, "the victim's" mother should feel like a failure and should be ashamed of herself.

The woman sounds crazy and you have several adult witnesses that proves her theory wrong.

I'm sorry your daughter has to go through this.

Re: How can I protect my child?

You know my opinion, I would find out about charging her (the mom) with defamation of character and/or harrassment. This is getting out of control.

But Bicosi is right, it is your DD that is now being bullied. Maybe file a bullying charge with the school. I know you think its not the little girls fault but the mothers, and you are right, but if this is the only way to protect your DD....

And anytime you need you know your NY contingent came come make a visit south

Re: How can I protect my child?

document everything. have it ready just in case but honestly, I dont see this going anywhere.

perhaps you too should speak with the sheriff? if she is getting perferential treatment by law enforcement, find a lawyer ASAP. its probably not a bad idea to retain a lawyer at this point anyway.

i would speak with the principal as well sorry you are going through this

make sure your daughter understands that she isnt doing anything wrong and to continue behaving as you have asked of her.

Re: How can I protect my child?

Update: Do not know how to update my original post. Do I just edit it? Anyway, talked to Juvenile Services today and decided to try to take this other mom into a mediation. Hoping she will agree to it because I need all this stress to end for my daughter. Also the victims mom will get the paperwork that says the case was closed this week and she can appeal it and it will go straight to states attourney. Really hoping to avoid that. Thanks for listenin.