Confused-Next Steps?

Some of you may remember I posted that I suspect my son has SPD, and many of you wrote to me personally which was much appreciated!

Since then, we have gone nowhere. I made an appt. to see a dev. ped. in late January which was cancelled due to a blizzard. Then another appt. in Feb. was cancelled due to DS having pneumonia. So now we're looking at early April.

DS is only getting worse IMO. He is frequently hitting and pinching other children in his daycare, and from all reports not in an aggressive manner. I's playful, he seems to want to get the attention of the other children. Bday parties or any large events that are indoors are very hard for him--he doesn't like the noise and the crowds. And his eating has not improved one bit.

So, I would like to also get the ball rolling with a school district evaluation (he is 3 years old). DH does not want to, he's afraid he'll get labelled as special ed throughout his school career. But I don't want to put all our hopes on this one doctor and wait a few more months for the school district to get involved if he needs services. And I think he does, though I'm not sure what he needs exactly or if there is another disorder at play such as autism or ADHD (I see flashes of both at times, but never enough for a strong feeling one way or another). Have to say, DH was against my seeking EI services for DS too, and still insists he may not have needed it since his speech has improved dramatically--he is not speaking above his age level.

So I am coming to this board to ask for opinions as to how to proceed. Do the school evaluation and the dev. ped. visit? Skip the school evaluation for now? I'm confused, just don't know what's best for him at this point. TIA!

Re: Confused-Next Steps?

I would pursue both. The school district evaluations won't happen overnight, it takes time to set all of that up, but you know that already from EI

If it were my DS, I would keep the appointment with the Developmental ped, but also request that the district do a special ed and an OT (for the sensory piece) evaluation too. If he is having issues at daycare, maybe you can have the evaluation done there.

Re: Confused-Next Steps?

Thanks! You helped clarify things a lot! I'm feeling very confused today, and not sure which is the best path to follow.

Yes, my sense is that the school evaluation will take awhile, perhaps even longer than EI. I did call them today, and was told we would need to submit proof of residency and fill out applications regarding that, so I'll do that much now. After sharing my thoughts, I think I need to forge ahead with this, even if it's against DHs wishes.

It would be good for them to evaluate him at daycare (if he's not thrown out before then), because a lot of the issues he's having there don't appear with a small group of people or with strangers. When he gets comfortable in his setting and with people, this is when the hitting, pinching, aggressive hugging starts. So if he goes to an office someplace, he'll probably be a little scared to be in the new setting and subdued.

Re: Confused-Next Steps?

I would get an eval from the school district.

CPSE is preschool so it's not going on his school record.

Re: Confused-Next Steps?

Posted by KerriSteve

I would get an eval from the school district.

CPSE is preschool so it's not going on his school record.

Message edited 3/9/2011 1:01:32 PM.

Re: Confused-Next Steps?

Thanks for the advice! I will ask for a therapist who deals with sensory issues. I feel in my gut this is definitely a problem for him, if there is anything beyond that, I do not know.

I did talk to the social worker at his school today after I posted--we had spoken this morning about the hitting and pinching, and later I did tell her that I am considering having him evaluated because I do have concerns already-this is just confirming it. She did explain the CPSE process for me, and said she would recommend the evaluator come to the school and observe him there as well, they will certainly work with the school on this. She helped, I felt a little less confused.

I wish my DH was on board with this. I think it would be so much easier to have his support and not feel as if I'm fighting him on this. Part of the problem is that he doesn't see him in as many social situations, doesn't do the pick-ups/drop offs so he doesn't hear what he has been doing except through me. So from his point of view, he's fine. And yeah, a big dose of male pride too.

Re: Confused-Next Steps?

While the school district evaluation wont happen overnight, there is a definite time limit that everything MUST be completed by. From the date you make the request for evaluation, all assessments must be completed within 30 days.

Re: Confused-Next Steps?

Thank you for all your posts. I was having a hard time deciding what next steps should be (and with the wait) and your posts helped clarify things so much.

I have the CPSE packet and will meet with them next week, so that's a start. We'll see what happens next.

Thanks again!

Re: Confused-Next Steps?

Re: Confused-Next Steps?

Posted by KerriSteve

My DH was not a fan of getting services in the beginning either. I realized going through all of this that the one thing my DH couldn't handle is something wrong with his son, for everything else in our lives he is the strong one.

So, I always "spin" things for him. For example... I tell him that therapy is good because Lance is getting a lot of personal attention, and he's learning more because of it. Or I'll tell him... Oh it's not a big deal, 80% of boys get speech, it's nothing to worry about.

Don't make him "worry" until you have to. Maybe tell him "oh we can seal the records because it's only preschool." KWIM? It's true for right now.

One time we went to a neurologist appointment and my husband was hysterical crying in the car on the way home. My DH is not like that, he always tells me he's "rugged," Lol, and for the most part he is. It's just when it comes to the kids, he needs to be reassured that things will be okay. Your Dh might be the same way.

Re: Confused-Next Steps?

Wish I had read this string before I told my DH that it was recommended that our DC go to a pediatric neurologist. Just got anger (which I assume is really frustration) back at me which is tough since having to start this process was hardly the high point of my day. Should have thought out how to present it better. Even though I know knowledge is a good thing there was a part of me thinking it was a good sign that no one was sending us to a neurologist.

Re: Confused-Next Steps?--UPDATE

Some of you may remember I posted that I suspect my son has SPD, and many of you wrote to me personally which was much appreciated!

Since then, we have gone nowhere. I made an appt. to see a dev. ped. in late January which was cancelled due to a blizzard. Then another appt. in Feb. was cancelled due to DS having pneumonia. So now we're looking at early April.

DS is only getting worse IMO. He is frequently hitting and pinching other children in his daycare, and from all reports not in an aggressive manner. I's playful, he seems to want to get the attention of the other children. Bday parties or any large events that are indoors are very hard for him--he doesn't like the noise and the crowds. And his eating has not improved one bit.

So, I would like to also get the ball rolling with a school district evaluation (he is 3 years old). DH does not want to, he's afraid he'll get labelled as special ed throughout his school career. But I don't want to put all our hopes on this one doctor and wait a few more months for the school district to get involved if he needs services. And I think he does, though I'm not sure what he needs exactly or if there is another disorder at play such as autism or ADHD (I see flashes of both at times, but never enough for a strong feeling one way or another). Have to say, DH was against my seeking EI services for DS too, and still insists he may not have needed it since his speech has improved dramatically--he is not speaking above his age level.

So I am coming to this board to ask for opinions as to how to proceed. Do the school evaluation and the dev. ped. visit? Skip the school evaluation for now? I'm confused, just don't know what's best for him at this point. TIA!

***UPDATE***This was an older post that got bumped, but thank you to the people who wrote to me and offered suggestions!

DH came around, and agreed to the evaluation. The evaluators determined that DS has PDD-NOS, so he was shocked to hear that, but once he started reading about it, said he definitely can see a lot of this in DS. He does still question whether he has PDD-NOS but agrees that it's safer to assume he does, and pursue treatment. We have our CPSE mtg. week after next, and I have to go over that with DH more now. I'm not sure if he understands the full purpose of this meeting.

But I'm glad we went for the school evaluation when we did. It went so much faster than I thought it would, and as it turns out, we'll have this done before the visit to the Developmental Pediatrician, though we'll keep that appt. too.