Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

Regular poster hiding. This story is so sad and my heart is breaking. I need to know if anyone can help my family, or has advice, esp real legal advice. I will try to keep this as short as possible.

My Uncle got married to my Aunt and they have 3 boys ages 11, 9, and 7. 5 year ago they became foster parents to a little girl, let's say Jess. Jess' mom is my Aunt's sister, she was on drugs or drinking and left a little 4yo home alone and eventually her school called and she was taken away. Her bio dad is in FL and she doesn't know him (had never ever met him). My Uncle called him 5 years ago and he said "no I won't fight you guys for her, I am a long distance trucker I can't take care of her", he never met her, they just wanted to make sure they wouldn't hit a snag trying to adopt her.

Jess was and is such a beautiful, SMART, good little girl. So sweet and loving. She skipped a grade and is on the honor roll currently. She is 10 years old and in 5th grade.

So Jess lived with my Uncle and Aunt and her three 1st cousins. Two years ago my Aunt and Uncle got divorced it was messy, horrible and horrific, but things have recently calmed down. They have joint custody of the kids, but my "Aunt" who is smart and vindictive to my Uncle refuses to let Jess see him alone, since he was her foster parent only.

So my Uncle has joint custody for the boys, but not Jess. You can imagine how she felt/feels when the boys would go to see their Dad and she wasn't allowed to go too. So when the boys are with their dad my Aunt still has Jess - all the time. Now my Mom and her two sisters take Jess as much as the Aunt will let them, for holidays, sleepovers, weekend, week long vacations every summer with the whole family. Jess stays with my parents at our family vacation in their house, she isn't allowed to be with my Uncle in his house bc that's how my Aunt is, like a power struggle. My family is always offering to take her to give the Aunt a break.

Jess calls my Grandma, Aunts, Uncles, and ALL of us 14 cousins, by those titles. She adores all of us and we adore her too. We all buy her presents for Christmas, bdays....We are a big LOVING Italian family and welcomed her from day 1 with open arms. My parents and my Mom's sisters and their Husbands have all discussed if my Aunt didn't adopt her they would!

So just recently in November after 5 years the legal adoption goes through, my Aunt is her adopative parent and her drug addicted Mother can never get her back again. Jess is now 10 and on the honor roll. We all breathe a sigh of relief bc while my "Aunt" is not like us, as warm and loving as we are, she at least took her in and we feel she IS a good Mother. Although it is clear she favors her boys.

One more thing I have to add, when Jess was taken by the state her mother's ex bf at the time also reached out bc he was worried about Jess. His name is "Mike". Mike is listed on Jess' birth certificate as her Father and he thought he was, but it wound up he actually wasn't. I have met him once and he is weird looking with ratty clothes and kind of that 70's burn out look with long dirty ratty blonde hair. A paternity test years ago showed her bio dad in FL is her dad.

Also my Aunt was given 10k by the state to adopt a foster child, even though she is an Aunt, also we believe she gets $850 a month for support of her.

WELLLLLLL....I found out tonight my "Aunt" has plans to send her at the end of June to FL to LIVE FOREVER! First with Mike for a few months, who she lived with 1-4 years old. Then he is to transition her to live with her biological Dad who she met only a few times, the first of which was only last October!

I am horrified. I knew my "Aunt" was sending her to FL to visit with Mike over the last few holidays, I thought it was bc she was trying to have free time when the boys are with their dad as she has a new bf now. Both Mike and her bio Dad have live in girlfriends, not married no kids. Who the eff are they?!

We are all so upset, what if she's being molested, sold as a sex slave, abused....My "Aunt" who I want to do horrible things to thinks it's best she is with her bio Dad, a stranger she doesn't really even know!

I feel like shes been groomed for this, this is the reason for all those trips she's taken to FL the last 6 months, and my family hasn't seen her much. Apparently when my Aunt told her she had a hysterical breakdown. My heart breaks!

Do we have ANY legal claim here? My parents would LOVE to have her, but they're 60 and 63. Huge empty house and my Mom is recently retired. Same school district. They would like to contact a lawyer.

This poor girl has known nothing but abandoment, all I keep thinking about is what happens when she gets her first period, some strange guy is going to tell her about it??? Also my Aunt and Jess' Mom were left by their Mother at age 16 and 14, then her Mother had 2 more girls and left them before they were even 10. So there is a family history.

So can anyone help? Advice? What can my parent's do or is it a lost cause? I would gladly take her as well! Any of us seriously would take her, but can we? How is it legal my Aunt got 10k to adopt a foster child and is sending her away but not terminating her parental rights?

Please help if you can.

Message edited 5/13/2011 11:36:28 PM.

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

Is this even legal???? I don't see how it can be.

You're aunt adopted her, therefore her birth mother has no rights. And her biological father is not on the birth certificate so he has no rights. Yet your aunt is sending her to live with him, a complete stranger????

I feel horrible for this little girl

Have your parents or anyone tried to speak to her? What is her reasoning for sending her away? She's a good kid given what she has been through.

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

The only thing I could think is that the child should have an attorney representing HER rights - I don't know that your family members (outside the adoptive parent/aunt) would have any legal standing to sue, but she certainly would. She is the legal and custodial parent and would at least still be responsible for the child... once this move happens I imagine an attorney for the child could sue on the basis of abandonment, and could move upon the court to be paroled (placed with) to a family member (one of you who wants her). Is the girl willing to challenge the aunt's authority or would she be too afraid?

It's definitely murky... I mean a parent can legally send the child to boarding school or do any number of things the child doesn't want, including arranging caretakers for the child, but this sounds more like it borders on abandonment and I think there might be a possibility that if the child was willing an attorney could intervene on her behalf. Have any of you confronted your aunt about this and asked if you could take her, letting her know she could keep whatever money/subsidy is involved?

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

I am not a lawyer but to tack onto what the PP stated, maybe you could obtain a law guardian ad litem to represent what Jess wants. They'll visit the home and make a recommendation based on the best interests of the child.

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

Call CPS.

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

I'm no attorney, but I did work as a Foster Care social worker for 2 years. LEGALLY, your aunt can do whatever she wants. As soon as she officially adopted Jess, she became the legal parent/guardian. Jess should even have a new birth certificate now with your aunt's name as her mother. So just like any one of our parents could have sent us to live with family members out of state, so can she.

With that said, Jess should have an attorney (aka law guardian) that you might be able to speak to. If she does, she may not be able to do much since Jess is no longer a ward of the state, but she might be able to offer you some more insight.

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

My Mother seems to think that while horrible it may actually be legal. My Mom says she could have chosen to send me to live with a relative in OH, CA, FL...without terminating her parental rights. But I tried to explain the state didn't give her 10k at the end of last year to adopt her, so I consider it fraud!

It is totally 100percent abandonment and my "Aunt" is justifying it as "the right thing".

Yes we would ALL take her, my parents and my 2 Aunts with husband and all grown kids. My Uncle would too, but as he is no longer married I wonder if they would see him fit since he is at work all day every day? DH and I would even take her! But my Aunt would rather die than give her to us, it's a power thing.

The way we found out was the oldest of Jess' 1st cousins (who are my 3 first cousins, the Uncle and my Mom are siblings), the 11yo told his father, apparently my Aunt and the kids had a family meeting where Jess went hysterical.

My Mom called her and said "Oh I am booking a place for us this summer, Jess will be with me right?" And my Aunt said "no she'll be in FL then" and my Mom was like "oh I heard something about that..."My Mom doesn't NOT want to get confrontational with her UNTIL after she gets Jess hopefulyl next weekend. She NEEDS to make sure she has their number, email memorized and my Mom needs to feel her out.

If you knew Jess personality...based on all that has happened to her. When my Mom said "how do you feel about meeting your bio dad?" (last Oct before we knew it was anything other than a visit). She said "I just hope he likes me?". She is a loving and pleasing child, she is constantly looking for love attection and reassurance. When she has sleepovers at my parents she NEEDS my Dad to watch tv with her, he can't be cooking dinnner. She cannot entertain herself alone. So she is very high maintanence, she is also always "on", listening watching observing and questioning. You cannot have an adult convo around her bc she absorbs it all!

My parents saw her for the first time this week at her concert at school. They saw her on stage and she was SO excited, but when she was done she sat with my Aunt and didn't turn around, my Aunt prob told her not to. She tells Jess they aren't your family all the time. But when we have her we tell her different constantly. I understand now why we haven't seen her much this school year, she's been in FL for a reason!

I am so scared for her, I feel like she is a pedaphilles dream all blond hair with huge blue eyes and little glasses. She is like an angel.

Her and the youngest 7yo cousin have such a special relationship, she reads to him and they are besties. I can't even, I feel sick.

If my Mom gets her next weekend and can try to groom her and assess her feelings then we are taking action AFTER that.

Does anyone know a lawyer? Can Jess call one herself? Realy we'd have to act on her behalf, she just turned 10 and by nature she isn't a rebel against adults or authority.

My social worker friend suggested contacting someone at her school or having a lawyer supenia her therapist....

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

Posted by InHiding---

Posted by MrsS6510

I'm no attorney, but I did work as a Foster Care social worker for 2 years. LEGALLY, your aunt can do whatever she wants. As soon as she officially adopted Jess, she became the legal parent/guardian. Jess should even have a new birth certificate now with your aunt's name as her mother. So just like any one of our parents could have sent us to live with family members out of state, so can she.

With that said, Jess should have an attorney (aka law guardian) that you might be able to speak to. If she does, she may not be able to do much since Jess is no longer a ward of the state, but she might be able to offer you some more insight.

This is what I am afraid of. My brother is a social worker and he said that the courts vare so jammed with children being physicaly abused that they cannot concentrate on mental abuse.

Message edited 5/14/2011 10:50:23 AM.

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

Posted by MrsS6510

Posted by InHiding---

Posted by MrsS6510

I'm no attorney, but I did work as a Foster Care social worker for 2 years. LEGALLY, your aunt can do whatever she wants. As soon as she officially adopted Jess, she became the legal parent/guardian. Jess should even have a new birth certificate now with your aunt's name as her mother. So just like any one of our parents could have sent us to live with family members out of state, so can she.

With that said, Jess should have an attorney (aka law guardian) that you might be able to speak to. If she does, she may not be able to do much since Jess is no longer a ward of the state, but she might be able to offer you some more insight.

This is what I am afraid of. My brother is a social worker and he said that the courts vare so jammed with children being physicaly abused that they cannot concentrate on mental abuse.

Unfortunately as unethical as it is, it's not considered mental or emotional abuse. Your aunt isn't verbally abusing her, or isolating her from society. She's just isolating her from your family. The fact of the matter is, she's not actually putting the child in harm's way (this is the way a court would see it). As long as her basic needs are being provided (food, shelter, clothing), your aunt is doing all she needs to.

ETA: What your family COULD do if absolutely necessary, is get a lawyer, go to Family Court, and file a petition for custody. But if you do, be ready and willing to fight a battle because it doesn't seem like your aunt will play nice.

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

Does anyone in the family have contact with her biological father or this "Mike" guy?

Maybe if someone in the family spoke with them and let them know that there are any number of people willing to take this poor child in, THEY would encourage that. Obviously, it needs to be a professional, and not heated conversation, laying out all the "pros" of her staying where she is.

Worse case scenario she stays with your Aunt. (Is this an option?)

This sounds like an episode of SVU.



To your family and most of all, to this girl.

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

Posted by mzsocialworker1

Does anyone in the family have contact with her biological father or this "Mike" guy?

Maybe if someone in the family spoke with them and let them know that there are any number of people willing to take this poor child in, THEY would encourage that. Obviously, it needs to be a professional, and not heated conversation, laying out all the "pros" of her staying where she is.

Worse case scenario she stays with your Aunt. (Is this an option?)

This sounds like an episode of SVU.



To your family and most of all, to this girl.

Message edited 5/14/2011 10:09:19 PM.

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

Your aunt is a P O S. This is what I would do, get a lawyer. Whatever it takes, money wise.... if you dont have the cash, get a loan, etc.. You cant do this without legal representation. Good luck and god bless that little girl

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

Send Michelle (munchkinfacemama) an FM, she's a family court lawyer.

Hoping everything works out with Jess!!!

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

I can do some research, but unfortunately, your family has no standing to make a claim. Technically, your "Aunt" is Jess's mother and as her mother, she can do as she pleases, as long as it is in the confines of the law. Is she relinquishing custody to the birth dad? To adopt Jess, his rights would be terminated too, so I am surprised. The most you can really do here is call CPS. No court would assign a law guardian because there really is no case here, as unjust and wrong. It would be the equivalent of someone sending their unruly teen to live with their grandparents. Even if the child doesn't want it or if it is unjust, it is not illegal. Do you know if either of these people in Florida have active neglect cases or anything? Can you maybe approach "Aunt" and suggest that your family is willing to take Jess?

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!

I would also contact Department of Social Services as they might be interested if she is collecting a stipend for a child that is not residing with her.

Re: Please help us - Need Family Court Lawyer Advice!