What happens on a "play date?" Is the other child's parent there?

My son has been begging me for his school friend (pre-K) to come over our house on a weekend. I am reluctant because I am not sure how this works. Do I invite the Mom too? I don't know her, so what would we do, drink tea and make small talk? I'm comfortable with her leaving her son for a couple of hours, but not sure SHE would be comfortable with it since I'm still a stranger (I wouldn't leave my son at her house). So it's just awkward. Thoughts/advice?

Re: What happens on a "play date?" Is the other child's parent there?

no advice but would love to know..i am in the same situation with dd and i dont know what the "norm" is

Re: What happens on a "play date?" Is the other child's parent there?

DD1 started Kindergarten September 2010 and I was so confused so I just asked the mom that invited. Told her that this was all new to me since DD is my first and she had never been in a formal school setting with friends (up til that point we had 'public' playdates...where the mom and I decided the DC would get together lets say at the library or something)
She welcomed me to come over and stay and to bring DD2 along as well. We had several playdates until I felt comfortable enough and close enough with the family to let her go over solo.
I still stay when there are birthday parties unless the invite says drop off and pickup times (of which there has only been one that hasnt taken place yet...its on the last day of school) but only let DD1 go over to a few friends with whose families I have become very well acquainted with. Otherwise I go with her still.....
She is only 5.....

Re: What happens on a "play date?" Is the other child's parent there?

It's soooo difficult because everyone has a different idea of what a playdate should be. I've had one mom drop her kid off at my house, having never met me or been to my house before, did not even stay a minute, and originally was going to leave him here for several hours! The kids had never had a playdate before, they just went to school together!!!! I had to speak up and suggest we just make the 1st playdate 2-3 hours at most.

Some moms do stay, and I did just make coffee and do the small talk-- it's not as bad as it seems. Other moms strike sort of a middle ground-- they stay for a short time just to make sure their child is settled in and everything is ok, then come back a couple hrs later.

I wish there were official playdate "rules", lol

Re: What happens on a "play date?" Is the other child's parent there?

DD is 3 so our play dates involve the parents too at this point. I'm not really sure at what age I'd be comfortable just dropping her off somewhere with parents I don't know.

Re: What happens on a "play date?" Is the other child's parent there?

We've always had them with both parents or families present.

Re: What happens on a "play date?" Is the other child's parent there?

I think you kind of have to make your own rules.

At that age, I would still want the parent to be present.

Re: What happens on a "play date?" Is the other child's parent there?

We started to have drop off playdates right around 4-5. Only with kids we knew pretty well in Preschool and then in Kindergarten they were all drop off's.

Re: What happens on a "play date?" Is the other child's parent there?

at that age it's usually the kids and the parent(s) until you get to know them and everyone is comfortable with each other. I'd put the invitation open to both of them and see where it goes from there.