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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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spinoff to please and thank you
at what age, do you think your child really understood what it means to say please and thank you?
I feel like if I teach DS, he'll obediently just say please and thank you and it will be just hollow words.
I want to teach him the meaning, am I being to idealistic?
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Posted 7/25/11 3:07 PM  |
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JennB
My princess <3
Member since 5/09 2473 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
I think its a matter of being polite. I started to teach DD as soon as she started talking, maybe even before. For example, if she gave me a toy or put one away I would say "thank you!" I think please and thank you are words kids should be taught right away and I also think they will grasp the concept on their own when the people around them use the words too.
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| Posted 7/25/11 3:13 PM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
Yeah you are def being idealistic..but nothing wrong with that.
John is 20 months and just started saying thank you on his own in the right context.. so im assuming all he knows is.. when someone hands me something..this is what I say.. but that's good enough for me right now...
I feel like it's good practice.. it needs to become second nature to the kids like it is for ..well.. most adults.
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| Posted 7/25/11 3:14 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
it's never too early.. not only do they learn by what we reinforce (in saying please when they ask of something and then thank you when they get it) but they learn in seeing our own behavior towards one another and how we interact with other people..
I have seen in my own kids that if someone doesn't say please or thank you, they even comment that it's rude or disrepectful, so it's obvious that it's registered in their minds along the way.. you're teaching them respect and respect goes both ways..
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| Posted 7/25/11 3:20 PM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
I think they "get it" far far sooner than we would credit them for it. My DS has been saying them for quite a long time now (he'll be 3 in Sept.) and it's about 90% self-directed. He'll forget when he's super excited to get something good  or just having a whiny moment. But other than that he seems to really know that using those words is polite, and nice, and people really dig it
Good manners don't just happen, imo. We model it, we enforce it, we EXPECT it, and yes, we remind him about it - at this age that's my job.
I feel pretty strongly about this one, because I really have seen in my own life that "Please" and "Thank you" have opened many a door for me, and I'm grateful to my parents for being so rigid about it when we were kids. If there's anything out there that grinds my gears it's a child without age-appropriate manners, just the simple stuff, and a parent who doesn't work on that is creating a lifelong handicap for their kid. 
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of LIF, its membership, (specifically but not limited to the MOMFIA), the Vatican, my husband, my Facebook friends, my Facebook enemies, the AMA, the PTA or the CMA.
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| Posted 7/25/11 3:22 PM |
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Angel321
...
Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
emma has been saying please & thank you for about 6 months now. every once in awhile she needs to be reminded to say thank you or please...but she knows she SHOULD say it.
recently, when asked if she wants more of something and she doesn't, instead of saying no (as she always did), she's started saying, 'no thanks'....which just blows me away...
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| Posted 7/25/11 3:36 PM |
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labonnevie
sometimes 1+1= 4 <3
Member since 8/09 3869 total posts
Name:
the lucky one
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
DD is 15mos and says thank you in the right context almost always she is given something, takes something, asks for something, etc. She is also learning you're welcome (really just delcum- but we get the point).
I don't think he is too young at all to teach him that. Although, I thought that you were going to let him teach himself?
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| Posted 7/25/11 3:59 PM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
Posted by labonnevie
I don't think he is too young at all to teach him that. Although, I thought that you were going to let him teach himself?
Thing is, I don't push it and he has picked up "sankee" (= thank ee? thank you?) and he will sign please (he wont say it yet) but when he's sort of really wants or wanted something. I wonder if he gets it, if he understands gratitude, if he understands generosity. I really want him to get those values and not sure how to teach him. I think he's just mimicking and I guess that's good, but I was just wondering if he's old enough to get complex values.
I'm still sort of teaching, but I'm not like "I wont give it to you until you say please" ... kwim?
And I make a huge deal when he does say please and thank you.
I believe being polite gets you very far, but its not something I want to beat into a baby. I rather they see and appreciate it as a value for themselves.
And I wonder when they start to realize that their is value in those words, is what I am asking.
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| Posted 7/25/11 4:36 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
Gratitude and social grace are huge concepts for most adults. To expect a toddler to really "get it" is asking a lot. That being said, teaching a child that you "get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar" is not a bad idea. People want to be around children who are sweet and kind. It is up to parents to teach this. It becomes a child's responsibility to learn the bigger concepts as they get older with less guidance IMO.
Message edited 7/25/2011 6:25:45 PM.
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| Posted 7/25/11 4:59 PM |
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
As a grandmother of nine, I offer the following suggestion. In a society full of bullying and self-centered children, it is helpful to teach your children the benefits of consideration for others and being polite as early as possible. The Magic Word is a book emphasizing good manners, which can be read to toddlers. It is a rhyming story of a little girl who was rude, selfish and demanding – and had very few friends. Her mother suggested that she needed to improve her manners; so when she went to school the next day, she thought of her mother’s advice, “What is the magic word?” and she started saying “Please” and also “Thank You”. She tried to become more thoughtful of others, and discovered that she was a much happier person. The repetitive use of the phrase “What is the magic word?” has children answering “Please”!
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| Posted 7/26/11 11:03 AM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
Posted by SherrillCannon
As a grandmother of nine, I offer the following suggestion. In a society full of bullying and self-centered children, it is helpful to teach your children the benefits of consideration for others and being polite as early as possible. The Magic Word is a book emphasizing good manners, which can be read to toddlers. It is a rhyming story of a little girl who was rude, selfish and demanding – and had very few friends. Her mother suggested that she needed to improve her manners; so when she went to school the next day, she thought of her mother’s advice, “What is the magic word?” and she started saying “Please” and also “Thank You”. She tried to become more thoughtful of others, and discovered that she was a much happier person. The repetitive use of the phrase “What is the magic word?” has children answering “Please”!
What about flagrant self-promotion? Any books you can recommend for that, I'd like to get my DS started on it as soon as possible
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| Posted 7/26/11 11:42 AM |
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jenn28
LIF Infant
Member since 3/07 178 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
The best way to do this is to just model it yourself. Now my lil one 22 months old says please, thank you, and your welcome on her own when appropriate. I just make sure to say it to her when I ask her for something or she gives me something.
I also make sure she hears me say it when we are out with friends or running errands.
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| Posted 7/26/11 7:35 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: spinoff to please and thank you
Posted by colette
Posted by SherrillCannon
As a grandmother of nine, I offer the following suggestion. In a society full of bullying and self-centered children, it is helpful to teach your children the benefits of consideration for others and being polite as early as possible. The Magic Word is a book emphasizing good manners, which can be read to toddlers. It is a rhyming story of a little girl who was rude, selfish and demanding – and had very few friends. Her mother suggested that she needed to improve her manners; so when she went to school the next day, she thought of her mother’s advice, “What is the magic word?” and she started saying “Please” and also “Thank You”. She tried to become more thoughtful of others, and discovered that she was a much happier person. The repetitive use of the phrase “What is the magic word?” has children answering “Please”!
What about flagrant self-promotion? Any books you can recommend for that, I'd like to get my DS started on it as soon as possible
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| Posted 7/26/11 11:21 PM |
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