what do you tell people who ask?

...when you're going to have kids?

I'm a longtime lurker who m/c in May and have since then, just tried really hard to piece my life back together and go back to being normal. It was my first pregnancy and I was only at 12 weeks so not many people knew ( just immediate family and a few close friends).

I have had some really great days where I know everything is ok and I have hope that things will improve for me and dh, but then, once in awhile, I have really bad ones.

Yesterday was a bad one and I finally gave in and registered an account to ask how you ladies do it. What do you say when people ask when you're going to have kids? Part of me is still so bitter and tired of hiding what really happened that I just want to blurt out that we had been trying for almost a year, and earlier this year, I m/c'ed. I don't want to tell people because I want them to feel sorry for me (far from it), but I just wish there was something I could say that would get them to stop asking---or make them realize how rude they are for asking something so personal.

Re: what do you tell people who ask?

I'm very vague about it, I just say, "Someday..." and try to change the subject. Someone was looking at my DD at church on Sunday and she said, "Don't you want anther one?" and I said, "YES!"

I think people ask to be nice (or nosy) without even thinking that it may be a hurtful question. I've had 3 mc's and it took me a long time to be able to sort of let questions like that go. I don't think people ask with intention to hurt my feelings, so I try not to take it personally. It did take me awhile to feel that way though.

Re: what do you tell people who ask?

Thankfully no one has asked, but I would just say- we’re working on it- or something like that.
I’m so sorry for your loss

Re: what do you tell people who ask?

i would always say "soon"... its always random people that ask too... if my mom is there when they ask she always tells them after and then they feel terrible... hopefully they stop asking people those kinds of questions...