Looking for support--intro

Hi ladies,

A bit of background on me....DH and I have a beautiful 2 year old DS. We tried for a year to conceive #2, no luck. Went to an RE, after 3 rounds of clomid, she suggested IVF. We did our IVF cycle this past July/August. IVF was so intense, I swore I could never do it again. For that reason, I decided to put 2 eggs in. I was so scared of going through all that and not conceiving.

After the transfer, I started panicking about the possibility of twins (which I was ok with pre-transfer). At my 6 week sono, we saw a heartbeat, and I was so thrilled and relieved that there was 1. Yesterday, at my 7 week, we discovered there are 2.

I feel like such a horrible person, but I am freaking out. My main concerns are: 1) I'm a bit of a freak, I guess, because I so looked forward to labor and was looking forward to the whole process again. 2) Breastfeeding was so important to me, and I had SO MANY problems with DS that I wound up pumping exclusively after 6 weeks. I so wanted to try again and have success. I feel like neither of those things will be possible with twins.

Also, when I had DS, my life was turned upside down. I really felt like I was in survival mode. How am I going to do it with 2 AND a 3 year old???

AND...I'm so worried DS will feel neglected.

I'm sorry this is so long, and thanks for reading this far. I'm just so emotional. I feel like a terrible person, especially since it took quite an effort and so many people aren't blessed like I have been.

Help!

Re: Looking for support--intro

awwww I am sure you are just in a little bit of "shock" right now!

I can't speak about havng another DC but I can say BFing is totally possible!! I did it for 6 months with my twins and while it was hard I am so glad I did it.

Hang in there

Re: Looking for support--intro

Give yourself some time and don't beat yourself up about what you are feeling right now. DS #1 had just turned 3 a month before my twins were born. It has been nutty and at times I have cried right along side my crying babies/son, but in the end things work out. You will figure out what works for your family. You may feel like you world is turned upside down again, but in so many ways it will be for the better. There have been so many times in the past 4 months I have thought, I cannot believe I just accomplished that. I am sure you will have great times like that, too. Hang in there!

oh, and congratulations!!!

Re: Looking for support--intro

give yourself some time to let the shock wear off. it takes awhile!!
but believe me....you will make it work and will look back and wonder how you did it all. my DS was just over 2 1/2 when my twins were born and the beginning was crazy, but we fell into a routine pretty quickly.

Congrats!!!!

Re: Looking for support--intro

Like others stated already...you are in shock mode and its SO normal to feel what you are feeling right now.

I did exactly that when our surprise came as well, and I to had a 3yr old.

i was ready for one more, not two.

I look back to that day of fidnding out, freaking out, talking to everyone who has BTDT and everyone did put me more at ease and that freaked out feeling came and went and I was excited and thrilled about the two blessings coming into my life.

I knew no matter what it was going to turn my life upside down and oh it did and still does,

You will be able to do it...and you will be given the patience you need, and you will cry, laugh, vent and we will all be here to help your through.

Congrats

Re: Looking for support--intro

the shock of finding out there are 2 will start to fade and you will actually start to like the idea. (i hope)

dont be so sure that you wont be able to go through a natural delivery with twins. If I didn't develop pre-eclampsia I would have push these girls out rather than a c-section.

as far as breast feeding goes.. I cant help you. I only had milk for about 12 days and my girls were always starving so i had to pump and supplement.


good luck!! you will get through it!!

Re: Looking for support--intro

I think what you are feeling is totally normal.

When I found out I was having twins all I kept saying to myself was, "We never planned on having 3 kids" LOL

There were definitely fears of neglecting DS (who was 2yrs 9months when the girls were born), not being able to handle 2 newborns, etc.

The girls are now 5 months old and I honestly could not imagine my life any different. I am EBFing the twins (BF DS until 15 months, so I refused to accept I couldn't BF them). And while yes, in a way I missed out on the labor and vaginal delivery, I did experience contractions which was all I needed to be reminded how much "simpler" a c-section would be

DS has never felt neglected. The whole time I was pregnant we really tried to "warn" him what was coming. I'd tell him "mommy has 2 babies in her belly" "Soon you are going to be a big brother and you have to take care of your sisters" etc. I think the prep really helped. We had a few days of massive meltdowns during transition when we brought the girls home. But aside from that he loves his sisters SOOOOO MUCH. Every morning he wants them to lay with him while he drinks his chocolate milk. He looooves to play with them (which winds up being a huge help for me), and already he is always looking out for them. Seriously, it's the sweetest thing ever.

With that said, don't feel guilty about how you are feeling. With time things will turn around!

Re: Looking for support--intro

Don't feel bad for what you're feeling!


I WANTED twins and was still overwhelmed once it set in that I was having twins. There's so many things to worry about with two.......but it is such an amazing experience. Once you feel both babies kicking....OMG, I will never forget that feeling. Even now, when I think back to that time, I can easily see that the kids' personalities were emerging inside of me! LOL. Now at 15mo, they are such amazing kids! I couldn't imagine my life without them. You'll do fine!!!! It just takes awhile to set in!



Congrats!

Re: Looking for support--intro

I had my twin boys when my DS was 3 years old. I too was in shock when I found out we were having twins. It was so hard to take care of one baby never mind two. I also wanted desperately to BF and with my first baby he would not latch so I pumped for 4 months but it I knew it just wasnt the same.

You will get through this and you will love those babies. My twins will be 4 in October and they are so much easier now. They keep each other busy and sometimes they play so nicely together. Its realy cute to watch.

It will go so fast and before you know it you will be encouraging someone else on these boards who is in the same situation.