humor me..is it ever ok...

to just flat out scream at someone for this lol

(let me preface this by saying i would never actually do it bc 1. ihave no backbone lol and 2.cant get mad if they dont know,or at least thats what i try to tell myself )

i was with my sisters and 2 friends of my oldest sister

one has a 7 month old,one is pregnant now with twins..i came over to say hello and congrats etc etc..so i sit down and we r all bs'ing and they start talking about babies and pregnancy

so the one with the child says,ugh it was so frustrating when we didnt get pregnant the first month..i was so upset..but the next month we got pregnant..worst month ever waiting!

pregnant one laughs and goes..2 months?? it took us 5..now that's a long time! who knew it would be that hard?

it was the last line of what she said that made me have a mirage of just slappping her a few times across her cheek



but i just laughed with them..said goodbye and went in the bathroom and cried

just a vent..sorry..i just feel liek the past few people i know that have gotten pregnnat seem to be after a couple months and just love to let me know


i am really not this evil..well i mean before IF

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

I probably would have done exactly what you did...and wished that I had the guts to say something to their faces.

I think we've all had those awful experiences. I remember when I told my SIL that we starting fertility treatments, she said, "If it makes you feel any better, we've been trying for #2 for 4 months." This was a year after she had #1, who was unplanned!

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

Its Always ok to smack a bitchh!

What an azz- theres no way I could have held my tongue. But I have no filter!

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

Were they aware of what you are going through?


Honestly I want to say people have no regard but I think it's possible they REALLY did believe they traveled the rough road or something .. Ahh I wish 5 months trying naturally was all it took, but hey it's all relative..


I would have probably reacted the same way though.. or maybe I would have flashed them my lovenox bruises and called it a day I'm sure that would horrify them to the point of shutting them up real fast

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

I'm not sure I could hold my tongue on that one. People can really be insensitive But I think family should know better!

Message edited 9/13/2011 11:18:42 PM.

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

in fairness to them they do not know anythingabout what we have been going through...my sister's eyes got so big when they said that..like she was going to have to catch me mid air as i jumped across the table

it is just so frustrating to hear it said outloud..but i have to just keep saying they have no idea what IF is so let them think what they want

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

Totaly slapworhty! I probably would have put them in their place without telling them I had issues.

Unless someone has gone through IF or has been very close to someone who has gone through it, they have NO CLUE.

Ive had friends who planned kids age differences out and were successful say that people are insane when they worry that they arent getting pregnant. I shut her right up and said , yeah but you dont know if that person was told they would have an issue and that fact is being proven b/c they have been ttc 6 months and nada. And that it's not easy for everyone.

I was at the salon last week and one girl was talking to another about a mutual friend and goes "when is she gonna have kids". It pizzed me off b/c how the heck does she know she isnt trying and its taking so long b/c she is having issues?!

There was also a girl next to me who had recently gotten married adn her hair girl asked when she was having kids. The girl says they will start ttc next year. The pessimist in me is thinking TTC NOW, dont wait, don't waste time!!

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

Posted by gina409

in fairness to them they do not know anythingabout what we have been going through...my sister's eyes got so big when they said that..like she was going to have to catch me mid air as i jumped across the table

it is just so frustrating to hear it said outloud..but i have to just keep saying they have no idea what IF is so let them think what they want

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

soooo annoying! I think most women have NO clue unless they've gone through it themselves. Even if they think they do because they had a friend who struggled or it took them 5 months to conceive.. no one really understands the IF battle and all the bs that comes with it.
I chalk it up to people just not knowing any better and most of the times they dont mean to intentionally hurt us. That's what hold me back from b!ich slapping some people!
I think you handled it the right way. If you said anything, it would have been a topic of discussioon at a later time for them and I wouldn't even give them something to talk about.

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

I hate when that happens. Liike you said they didn't know, so reallly can't get mad. It doesn't take away the hurt and frustration though, you handled it well.

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

Posted by RGEC47

I hate when that happens. Liike you said they didn't know, so reallly can't get mad. It doesn't take away the hurt and frustration though, you handled it well.

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

It's always mostly at ALL gatherings; there is always at least one stupid remark that irks the crap outta me.

But........in their defense.....they have no clue what its like. Im in this IF journey for 4 years.......and yes, I cringe when I hear what people consider a "long tme". But I realize much after the fact; that if I had become pregnant fairly quickly; I most likely would be saying it too in conversation. You just dont know what it sounds like or what it feels like unless you been thru it I guess.

Just a few weeks ago, we had a communion. And a girl I only see maybe once a year; asked how long I was married, blah, blah, blah. She is single by the way. Any kids? Nope I said. Really? Married all those years still no kids?? Nope, no kids. Wow, what you are waiting for? You trying?

Me: Anyways; good to see ya; I'll see you later.

I LOVE stupidity!

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

Posted by HopelesslyDiscouraged



It's always mostly at ALL gatherings; there is always at least one stupid remark that irks the crap outta me.

But........in their defense.....they have no clue what its like. Im in this IF journey for 4 years.......and yes, I cringe when I hear what people consider a "long tme". But I realize much after the fact; that if I had become pregnant fairly quickly; I most likely would be saying it too in conversation. You just dont know what it sounds like or what it feels like unless you been thru it I guess.

Just a few weeks ago, we had a communion. And a girl I only see maybe once a year; asked how long I was married, blah, blah, blah. She is single by the way. Any kids? Nope I said. Really? Married all those years still no kids?? Nope, no kids. Wow, what you are waiting for? You trying?

Me: Anyways; good to see ya; I'll see you later.

I LOVE stupidity!

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

Posted by PennyCat

Posted by HopelesslyDiscouraged



It's always mostly at ALL gatherings; there is always at least one stupid remark that irks the crap outta me.

But........in their defense.....they have no clue what its like. Im in this IF journey for 4 years.......and yes, I cringe when I hear what people consider a "long tme". But I realize much after the fact; that if I had become pregnant fairly quickly; I most likely would be saying it too in conversation. You just dont know what it sounds like or what it feels like unless you been thru it I guess.

Just a few weeks ago, we had a communion. And a girl I only see maybe once a year; asked how long I was married, blah, blah, blah. She is single by the way. Any kids? Nope I said. Really? Married all those years still no kids?? Nope, no kids. Wow, what you are waiting for? You trying?

Me: Anyways; good to see ya; I'll see you later.

I LOVE stupidity!

Ugh.. "you trying? .." If she said that to me I'd be like ..Yea, I'm trying. Trying not to slap you!!

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

ugh, sorry you had to listen to that

i realized a while ago that like many of the 'big' stressful things in life (wedding planning, buying a house etc), most people have absolutely NO clue what really goes into it until they've done it themselves.
And when their own experience goes smoothly, they have no reason to know that for some people it wasn't the same experience

I have some ignorant but well meaning friends who still make comments about ttc'ing and babies to other friends, even after knowing that it took us 2 years to get pregnant. They must still think we were an anomaly and that everyone gets pregnant after the first try!
So my point is, that even knowing people who struggled to get pregnant and went through IF treatments for 2 years - my clueless friends still don't truly get it.

Its the kind of experience i don't wish on anyone else. But every once in a while, you can't help but think 'god, if they only knew an ounce of the pain they're causing by those comments, they'd shut up really quick'

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

if i ever say anything like that
feel free to smack me

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

Posted by gina409

to just flat out scream at someone for this lol

(let me preface this by saying i would never actually do it bc 1. ihave no backbone lol and 2.cant get mad if they dont know,or at least thats what i try to tell myself )

i was with my sisters and 2 friends of my oldest sister

one has a 7 month old,one is pregnant now with twins..i came over to say hello and congrats etc etc..so i sit down and we r all bs'ing and they start talking about babies and pregnancy

so the one with the child says,ugh it was so frustrating when we didnt get pregnant the first month..i was so upset..but the next month we got pregnant..worst month ever waiting!

pregnant one laughs and goes..2 months?? it took us 5..now that's a long time! who knew it would be that hard?

it was the last line of what she said that made me have a mirage of just slappping her a few times across her cheek



but i just laughed with them..said goodbye and went in the bathroom and cried

just a vent..sorry..i just feel liek the past few people i know that have gotten pregnnat seem to be after a couple months and just love to let me know:bang
i am really not this evil..well i mean before IF

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

You're tooo nice. Slapping? I think I would have flipped tables. Maybe I do need to relax......

It reminds me of a "friend"- I borrowed her CBEFM when we first started TTC. Sh3e got PG using it after 1 month of trying. Now, she asked for it back. They're going for #2

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

I would have cried…in front of them…and said you girls have no idea.

It would teach them a lesson…that they know nothing about ttc struggles.

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

Of course it's ok but I think a b!tch slap would have been more appropriate. Whenever someone says stupid sh!t like this in front of me I make sure to tell them about my miscarriage(s) hoping that it'll keep them from being stupid in the future.

Re: humor me..is it ever ok...

If they know what you are going through, then yes it is fine to slap them! I doubt you would go to jail even if you beat the crap out of them.

If they don't know, then no I guess it's not okay to smack the crap out of them.

What is the most annoying is when people ask "so when are you having kids" or "are you pregnant yet" due to the length of time we have been married.