Did you and/or your DC lose friends once they entered the CPSE program?

DS is 2.5. He's still in EI but will be turning 3 in February and most likely will be entering the district's special needs preschool program. We just moved here last summer and I instantly made a nice group of mom friends in the neighborhood through the library playgroup for his age. The kids all play together at the park all the time, DS in his own way of course. We've put the kids in alot of the same activities together, etc.

The moms know DS gets speech (obvious as he's nonverbal) but I haven't shared any of my other concerns with him or ever really explained his sensory issues either. When he turns 3 and enters the CPSE program, I'm concerned we'll no longer be friends. As then DS will officiallly be "different" than their kids, at least to them I assume. Who knows maybe I'm not giving the moms enough credit, but their kids...soon they'll realize, and I'm worried they'll reject DS. I don't really know whether DS would even realize or understand it if they did (he probably wouldn't), but he may and it crushes my heart that his feeelings could be hurt.

Can you share your experiences? I'm not worried about my true best friends, I know they love my DS no matter what and will teach their children about acceptance and kindness, etc...it's the local moms, the friends I've just made and their kids (the neighborhood kids) that are my concern. Did you sit down the local moms (or would you in my case) and explain everything?

Re: Did you and/or your DC lose friends once they entered the CPSE program?

my situation is a little different but somewhat the same... DS has had the same local friends since he was 4 months old (4 years now) i met them through a local moms group (11 months before he was diagnosed) we have stayed friends with them since. he has a few of the children he is closer to... most know AJ is different but at that age they dont understand fully.

no one leaves him out, they fight like typical kids, take things from each other... obviously all my friends know and have been through EI & are currently going through CPSE with us, and will eventually enter CSE with us.

i am very open with his DX (autism) and i tell people in conversation if they dont know already.

kids accept everyone, unless their parents influence them otherwise..at least that is what i have noticed. but they will feed off their parents...

i do have friends who have spectrum children as well, but my closer friends (friend i met after having kids) are so not phased by it.

i wouldnt worry and for those who do shun you and DS arent worth really having as friends, are they?

Re: Did you and/or your DC lose friends once they entered the CPSE program?

I haven't told everyone we know about DS--my feeling is that not everyone we know needs to know. At some level, I feel he is entitled to some privacy related to this diagnosis, and since he is so young and it's a borderline diagnosis, I'm not sure it will stick through the school years. My husband has a medical condition that he chooses not to share about with everyone, and I guess I view this the same way, except DS is too young to choose who he wants to tell and who he doesn't (and doesn't even know he has a diagnosis). These are my views for my family, I don't put down those who choose to tell more people, I'm just not comfortable with it.

But of the people I have told, all are still my friends. Those who have children still have them play with DS. I can't say it has affected these relationships, but these are people who I am close to and know are not judgemental.

But I also agree with the PP, if anyone rejects you and DC, they probably aren't worth being friends with long term anyway.

Re: Did you and/or your DC lose friends once they entered the CPSE program?

We also have a nice group of friends we met through the library. I think most people are more understanding than you realize. There will always be a few insensitive people. My son has severe physical delays and at first I didn't say much about his delays. When I started talking about it I realized that all of his delays were obvious to them but they didn't want to comment because it is an awkward conversation. Whenever he has another milestone they are always supportive. He recently got a walker and all the moms were super happy to see him walking and all the kids wanted to try it out.

My DS did start an early intervention program and I found that because of our busy schedule I haven't really been able to spend time with our friends. It's disappointing but I think that school is going to be great for him. It was a difficult choice but ultimately my DS progress is the most important. And now you can meet Moms with kids with similar delays and have an outlet to talk about it.

Re: Did you and/or your DC lose friends once they entered the CPSE program?

Alissa if I can crash for sec just to let you know, Shane has a group of local playmates and a few of them are getting EI or CPSE services. When some of the older ones transitioned to CPSE it was really important to me to keep them as playmates for DS. I love these kids and I really am humbled by their parents, they do such a great job with their kids both on the spectrum and off, and I wanted to stay friends with them. DS's speech delay was a big concern for me and they helped me so much in the early days and I feel a debt of gratitude to them for that. One mom had the same worry you shared here, about 6 months ago, and she basically BEGGED me to keep coming to the park and letting S hang with her child. It made me So in my honest opinion, anyone who would "drop out" of a friendship probably wasn't in it for the long haul kwim? Plus DS is going to meet so many NEW kids and new parents if he is moved into CPSE that you'll have lots of social activities for him. Plus you're so frigging NICE I can't fathom any mom there NOT wanting to hang out with you and your gorgeous boyos.
Queens playdates coming SOON if we ever close on this freaking house!!!

Re: Did you and/or your DC lose friends once they entered the CPSE program?

I met all my mommy friends right here on LIF! My DS is 4 and back in 2007, we started a mall walking group and I'm so glad because we still remain friends today!

Two of the moms (also 2007), walked into the same library group as me and turns out we're neighbors (we "talked" on here and didn't realize we were in the same area..LOL).

DS still has playdates them and it's great.

Some have younger (my DDs age) and we do GTG. I'm actually looking forward to DD starting school to meet more friends her age.

If your friends drop you, then, I'm sorry, they are not a true friend! My kids are "different", but, my friends put that aside and we go out and have fun!