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Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

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PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys

Member since 1/07

2963 total posts

Name:
Jess

Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

Hi all,

I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to come on here and update you all - I had my Chat Icon Chat Icon on Saturday 8/27 ... the day before the hurricane, and just before I hit the 32 week mark.

Both of my little guys are doing well and they are in excellent hands in the NICU. I know they are getting everything they need but leaving the hospital without them was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It hurts leaving them every night and I can't wait for them to be home with us.

It looks like we may have one home a couple of weeks before his brother, and I'm having a lot of trouble wrapping my head around the logistics of it all. Its almost "easier" having them both in the hospital?!

What did you do?

Did you & DH go separately to the hospital for visits?

Did you leave the twin who came home first with someone else? I can't imagine doing that right now!

Did you bring them with you & switch off hanging out in the family room and visiting the baby?

Any advice, guidance or support you can offer right now its really sincerely appreciated.

Posted 9/9/11 1:32 PM
 
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Maybe-baby
LIF Adolescent

Member since 12/07

774 total posts

Name:

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

1st of all congrats on your Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I did not have twins but I did have 1 15 month old DD when DD# 2 was born twelve weeks early, so I can totally understand how daunting it may seem to figure out the logistics of visiting one when the other is home. With my 15 month old we were able to bring her and leave her in the waiting room with one of us while the other visited. However, in your circumstances I would not suggest bringing your preemie back and forth to the hospital and exposing him to the hospital environment. If at all possible, I would suggest you and your DH visit at different times so that one of you is always with one of your DS.

Hopefully, the time from one coming home to the other coming home will be short Chat Icon Chat Icon

FYI, the NICU stay for both my DD's was probably the hardest things I/we have had to do. It is truly a rollercoaster so expect the unexpected. Good Luck and I Chat Icon the both get home soon.

Posted 9/9/11 2:17 PM
 

onehappyday12
LIF Infant

Member since 10/10

151 total posts

Name:
Lisa

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

Congratulations on the birth of your Chat Icon Chat Icon !!

I had my Chat Icon Chat Icon at 35 weeks. My son was in the NICU for 2 weeks and my daughter for close to 3. Going to visit them while they were both in the hospital was hard enough, let alone when one was home and the other was not. We took turns. I had offers from my parents to watch my son while we went to see my daughter, but I didnt take them up on the offer or maybe I did once but it was between feedings if anything. It was hard but we managed. My husband went back to work a week after the babies were born because he wanted to save his second week for when we were all home as a family. On those days while they were both in NICU, I went in the morning and he went at night. When my son came home, my husband took more sick days and was home so we took turns staying home and going to the hospital. We were not together after that until both were home. It was very very hard. Probably the hardest part of it all. Very tiring. But you will get through it.
Good luck and I home they come home real soon !!

ETA: One of the other preemie moms in the NICU whose one daughter went home before the other gave us a piece of advice. She said to go out to dinner the night before taking the first baby home because it would be our last chance for a dinner out together without getting a babysitter. I'm glad we did.

Message edited 9/10/2011 1:03:29 PM.

Posted 9/9/11 3:49 PM
 

Pleaseletthisbeit
LIF Infant

Member since 8/10

342 total posts

Name:
N

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

I am so sorry you are going through this Chat Icon Chat Icon . I know how unbelievable tough it is.
I just had my triplets on July 2 at 30weeks and each baby came home at different times. My 2 sons came home within 2 days of eachother, but my daughter didnt come home until 3weeks after her brothers. It was EXTREMELY tough and I always felt guilty about leaving her there any only being able to visit a few hours a day (when they were all in the NICU I would spend all day and night there). I did not feel comfortable leaving the boys with family members...especially since they were such preemies and still had problems with eating and breathing. So for the 3 weeks, it was very tough but my DH would go to work and soon as he got home from work (5:30pm), I would get right in the car and head to the hospital...usually until 9 or 10 oclock. Every other day he would go to the hospital straight from work and stay for a bit and then he would come home about 8 or 9pm and then I would go from 9pm-midnight. It was EXHAUSTING...but for me and for her, I needed to be there for a little bit each day. Those 3 weeks seemed so long, but now that everyone is home, its just a distant memory.

Please FM me if you need anything or just want to talk. My two boys were in the NICU for 6 weeks and my daughter was in for 9 weeks. I know how hard it is being a NICU mommy! I will be thinking about you and your little Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/9/11 3:58 PM
 

sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!

Member since 10/05

20369 total posts

Name:
Jesss, duh.

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

Congratulations!!!!!!!! I am sorry I don't have any advice to offer, but wanted to give lots of Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/9/11 8:03 PM
 

kelkel09
Love my twins!!!

Member since 6/10

5183 total posts

Name:
K

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

hey hun! I just wanted to say that I am glad your little guys are doing well! My twins are currently in the NICU and will still be there for another 2 months probably. Even though I have plenty of time to worry about them leaving, I am already freaking out about one leaving the hospital before the other. I live an hour away from the hospital so there is no way I can go back and forth with an infant. I really hope they will keep them both until both are ready to go home...but I guess that is just wishful thinking!

sorry I don't have actual advice for you, but just wanted to send some hugs!Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/10/11 7:27 AM
 

Twinzmommy2B
LIF Adolescent

Member since 12/10

580 total posts

Name:

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

Congratulations, Jess on the birth of your Chat Icon Chat Icon !

I had my Chat Icon Chat Icon in June at 36 weeks. Baby A was 5 lbs 8 oz and Baby B was 5 lbs 3 oz. Baby B was taken to the NICU immediately and I saw him for the first time two days after I gave birth to them. It was so upsetting for a first time mommy. He spent 9 days in the NICU because he was having trouble eating.

Baby A came home with us right away. My husband would go up to the hospital everyday to see Baby B while I stayed at home to watch my other Chat Icon . It killed me to stay home but I knew I had to heal myself. My parents and in-laws also went up everyday for feedings. My MIL took me up one day to see him while my husband stayed home.

I understand what you are feeling since I went through it only 3 months ago. My boys are now 11 1/2 and 12 1/2 pounds and doing beautifully! Baby B is eating 6 oz of formula at each feeding and is doing so well. You'd never know that they were preemies!

Hang in there! If you want to talk, please FM me! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 9/10/2011 3:19:41 PM.

Posted 9/10/11 3:18 PM
 

jmf423
:)

Member since 5/05

6372 total posts

Name:

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

First off congratulations!!!! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Glad to hear your boys are doing well.

My DD was ready to come home a day before my DS, but they kept her and they came home together. But I had a 2 1/2 yr old at home while they were in the NICU so although not the same, I get it.

It is rough. DH and I would go together sometimes and separate sometimes. SOme days my mom would watch DS so we could go. Other days one would stay with DS and the other went. You will figure out what works best for you. Hang in there Chat Icon

Posted 9/10/11 3:45 PM
 

maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !

Member since 2/10

3868 total posts

Name:

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

I am in the exact situation right now. Luka Anthony is scheduled to come home tomorrow and his brother will have to stay at least a few more days, more if he has another "episode" (As and BsChat Icon )

I will NOT be bringing the baby back to the hospital. GERM INFESTED!!

DH & I will be taking turns. I don't trust anyone else with the boys right now. I have a pit in my stomach just thinking about leaving Marco there. I always felt as if "at least they have eachother"Chat Icon Chat Icon It really is heartbreaking *gulp* I can't wait till my family is all together. We all will get through this Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/10/11 6:52 PM
 

My2Girlz11
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/11

785 total posts

Name:
Corrie

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

Congrats!! It was hard leaving one of my girls in the NICU and bringing the other home. CArsyn was in the NICU three weeks longer than Aubrey. I always left her at home with either my husband, mother, sister, or brother. I know it is hard and it is very emotional. There is a plus to this though, you will at least get used to taking care of one before the other gets there. When I look back and get upset, I can at least think that there was a little positive with leaving one in the NICU.

Posted 9/10/11 9:16 PM
 

J-sportwidow
LIF Toddler

Member since 7/09

490 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

Congrats on your babies. I unfortunately know the feeling all too well and it was really bad since the babies were born at columbia so every time we wanted to see them we had to travel 3+ hours and also the time we spent at the hospital.

My boys were born at just under 31 wks. M was in tlhe hospital for 6.5 wks and G was in the hospital for exactly 7 wks. It ended up being a 4 day difference. One came home Fri and the other Tues.

First off we were highly advised not to bring the baby into the hospital because of germs etc. They were so small and suseptible. Other than that, It definetely wasn't easy! Especially since at that time DH was already back to work and I wasn't allowed to drive and needed dr's approval after a very bad experience with my c-section. Originally our plan was to switch off with IL's and my parents watching the baby at our house. Unfortunately PPD hit BIGTIME as soon as the first baby came home so we wanted to spend as much time at home as possible. My parents went to the hospital to visit the other. Monday I went in. DH worked that night so he watched him and then his parents. Tues we both went in to pick up the baby.

I wish you the best and hopefully it will be a short stay for the second baby!

Posted 9/11/11 10:05 PM
 

missus-hbradio
Twin mommy

Member since 5/05

15857 total posts

Name:

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

Posted by PreshusSmurf

Hi all,

I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to come on here and update you all - I had my Chat Icon Chat Icon on Saturday 8/27 ... the day before the hurricane, and just before I hit the 32 week mark.

Both of my little guys are doing well and they are in excellent hands in the NICU. I know they are getting everything they need but leaving the hospital without them was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It hurts leaving them every night and I can't wait for them to be home with us.

It looks like we may have one home a couple of weeks before his brother, and I'm having a lot of trouble wrapping my head around the logistics of it all. Its almost "easier" having them both in the hospital?!

What did you do?

Did you & DH go separately to the hospital for visits?

Did you leave the twin who came home first with someone else? I can't imagine doing that right now!

Did you bring them with you & switch off hanging out in the family room and visiting the baby?

Any advice, guidance or support you can offer right now its really sincerely appreciated.



Congrats!!!Chat Icon Chat Icon

DH and went separately to visit my DD bc my son came home first and someone had to be home to watch him. It was extremely heartbreaking I will admit. To top it off, it was Christmastime, so it made it even worse IMO.
The only time we left my DS with someone else was when we went to the hospital to finally pick up DD. We brought her home the day after Christmas in a huge snowstorm. It was bittersweet to finally have them home together.
It was extremely sad to go back and forth to the hospital. My DH went a few times by himself and I had to have family members drive me because I couldnt since I had a c section. When a parent drove me, they came in with me. One time my poor sister drove me and they wouldnt let her in bc she is a sibling. It was so sad.
I know its hard now but it will all be over soon. You will be home with both of them and be overwhelmed with joy and exhaustion! GOOD LUCK and hugs.Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Oh let me know if you are at Winthrop btw, that is where my twins were in the NICU.

Posted 9/12/11 12:17 PM
 

Nayia
<3 <3 <3

Member since 10/07

1824 total posts

Name:
Penny

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

I dont have any advice but I just wanted to send tongs of hugs ur way!
Cingrats again

Posted 9/12/11 1:44 PM
 

lesliemike
The twins are almost 2!

Member since 11/08

2249 total posts

Name:
Leslie

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

Congratulations! I'm sorry you have to leave them. I can't imagine hoe that feels. I hope they will be home with you soon!

Posted 9/13/11 4:59 PM
 

PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys

Member since 1/07

2963 total posts

Name:
Jess

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

Thank you all so much for the congratulations, kind words and all the advice too! Chat Icon

Those that pointed out it wouldn't be the best idea to bring the one who comes home first back to the hospital made an excellent point. That's why I love this board!

We are lucky that our parents are close enough to help us and can come here and stay with the first one home while we visit.

I Chat Icon the time between discharge isn't too long.

I'll update with pics soon!

Posted 9/14/11 11:42 AM
 

Champ
2 little ladies

Member since 1/11

2918 total posts

Name:
Rose

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

Posted by PreshusSmurf

Hi all,

I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to come on here and update you all - I had my Chat Icon Chat Icon on Saturday 8/27 ... the day before the hurricane, and just before I hit the 32 week mark.

Both of my little guys are doing well and they are in excellent hands in the NICU. I know they are getting everything they need but leaving the hospital without them was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It hurts leaving them every night and I can't wait for them to be home with us.

It looks like we may have one home a couple of weeks before his brother, and I'm having a lot of trouble wrapping my head around the logistics of it all. Its almost "easier" having them both in the hospital?!

What did you do?

Did you & DH go separately to the hospital for visits?

Did you leave the twin who came home first with someone else? I can't imagine doing that right now!

Did you bring them with you & switch off hanging out in the family room and visiting the baby?

Any advice, guidance or support you can offer right now its really sincerely appreciated.



so my question is.... what worked? I will be in this situation on a few days. It will be a few weeks until they are both home. They are finally in the same hospital and now twin a is coming home. I am delighted to have her home, im just not sure how to visit twin b everyday.

tia :)

how are your little guys doing?

Posted 10/4/11 3:02 AM
 

PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys

Member since 1/07

2963 total posts

Name:
Jess

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

Posted by Champ

so my question is.... what worked? I will be in this situation on a few days. It will be a few weeks until they are both home. They are finally in the same hospital and now twin a is coming home. I am delighted to have her home, im just not sure how to visit twin b everyday.

tia :)

how are your little guys doing?




I'm so glad you've been able to get them in the same hospital, that must've made things a little easier if only for a short while.

We were lucky that it was only a couple of days between their home comings.

DH & I decided that if we could avoid it, we didn't want to leave the babies with anyone just yet so we'd go separately.

Our initial plan was to alternate days. On days that DH was going up to visit, he'd go straight from work. On days I was going up to visit, I'd go with my parents went they were done with work. I was still recovering from the c-section and not feeling up to driving myself yet.

Here's how it actually went for us:

G came home on a Friday night, just before turning 3 weeks old.

The next day, Saturday, my parents went to the hospital to spend time with B and feed him. DH & I stayed home that day to get used to having a baby in the house. DH also wasn't feeling great that day so he didn't want to risk bringing anything up to the NICU.

On Sunday, DH went up to the hospital for 1 feeding and my parents went for another one.

Monday I was finally able to get back up there. DH stayed home with G and my parents drove me. That was when we got the surprise news that B was going to be discharged the next day!

So on Tuesday night, we got to take B home!!!!!!!

It was a long couple of days, but I'm so happy to have them both home now.

Posted 10/5/11 1:35 PM
 

jozieb0925
Double Trouble!

Member since 5/05

4358 total posts

Name:
Josie

Re: Any advice for a NICU Mom of Twins - bringing home one baby, visiting the other baby?

My daughter came home before my son. My son was in the hospital for a month after my daughter came home.

Unfortunately, I could not go everyday, but someone was always visiting my son....we got permission to have our parents visit if my husband and I could not go.

It was really difficult for me to leave my daughter because she was still having difficulty with feedings.

Posted 10/6/11 10:08 PM
 
 

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