Reprimanding a toddler with PDD-NOS?

DS is turning 22 months old. No expressive language. He has been getting ABA for 2.5 months and I do see a difference.

The problem is this weekend he was a terror on wheels. All he wanted was to watch Sesame Street, climb on everything and smack me. I put him in time out (me holding me still for 15 seconds to 1 minute depending on what he did) and he has a complete melt down.

Smacking. Biting. Throwing. Tantrum/Meltdown.

How do you reprimand a child so young with PDD-NOS? I'm every strict with the rules we have not we dont have many (if that makes sense). I don't allow throwing or any action that can harm him or someone else.

Help. I'm the "bad guy" because everyone, including my DH seem to let him get away with murder. At the same time he doesn't ask as bad with others as he does with me, his SAHM.

Re: Reprimanding a toddler with PDD-NOS?

I would definitely ask his therapist(s) for advice. I know when my DS has an issue he gets his favorite toy taken away. He loves some of the apps on the iPad or playing with my DH's phone and that gets taken away for a while. This was a suggestion from his ABA therapist. He's 3 1/2 now and we have very few behavior issues.

Good luck. I know how frustrating it can be. After a year, my DH is still not completely onboard either. Sometimes that is more frustrating than DS's behaviors.

Message edited 10/18/2011 1:06:22 PM.

Re: Reprimanding a toddler with PDD-NOS?

Time outs worked for us for a while (at that age, they still did). I would gate him in his playroom and set the timer for 2 minutes, then 3 minutes when he turned 3. ("They" say a minute for each year of age). Now, I find what works best is making him stay by himself, because he always wants my attention and hates being isolated from us.

For throwing, I have a clear plastic box. If he throws a toy, it goes in the box and he gets it back the next day. For your DS's age, maybe you could try a shorter time period, like 15 minutes and work your way up to longer periods of time. We use a timer for lots of things in our house, both for punishments and rewards.

TV is a big motivator in our house. If he is watching something and misbehaves, the TV goes off. Sometimes I will put it back on after a short period of time after he apologizes and he agrees to "no more_____." He usually gets 3 chances, after 3 it goes off for the morning or afternoon. At the time he didn't have as much expressive language, he would "do nice" as a way to apologize - stroke my arm to acknowledge he did wrong and was sorry.

Consistency is key. I am usually the bad cop in our house too, but I find when we are consistent and use the time outs and take things away or reward consistently, his behavior is much better. Most kids on the spectrum do much better with consistency and structure.

I know it's tough - hang in there. It did get easier for us when more expressive language started to come. Hopefully, you will get there too.

ETA - his meltdowns, hitting, etc. is always worse with me - I am usually the target when he is frustrated or upset. I am no expert, but I think they fall apart with the person they are closest with, or feel most comfortable with.

Message edited 10/18/2011 3:03:37 PM.

Re: Reprimanding a toddler with PDD-NOS?

I agree with the previous posters--consistency is key, and DH needs to be on board. Mine isn't always either, so I know that can be frustrating.

All the suggestions I agree are worth trying. I think taking something away works well at that age, especially if it's directly related to the behavior--throwing a toy? It gets taken away for a bit. Hitting Mommy to get the TV turned on sooner? We don't watch the show.

Time outs did not work for us at this age at all. I don't know if DS didn't understand them (he's PDD-NOS also) or if it just defiance, but I don't think he got them. I had to box him in place, otherwise he wound up running around the house screaming and the bad behavior generally escalated. And it became a circus with me trying to put him in the corner, step, whatever, and him bolting out of it. I was amazed when
I would ask other Moms what to do, and they said "really, he doesn't just sit there?" Their kids would sit, maybe they needed to be redirected to time out a couple times. No big deal. But for us, it was a zoo and usually ended with him in more hysterics than before. Around 3 he got time outs though, so I started using them then.

Now I find walking away and ignoring him is often more effective, or putting him in his room alone. He hates that, and usually suggesting it once is enough to get the behavior to stop.

Also, I would reward good behavior when it happens. If you find he communicates nonverbally with you rather than having a tantrum, praise him, make a big deal about it. Same if he stops throwing a toy when you have asked or stops hitting right away. Try to make a connection between good behavior and Mommy gives hugs, smiles, etc.