Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

DS just got diagnosed with PDD a couple of weeks ago, he'll be 3 in Feb. He's been going to a typical preschool 2 mornings a week and he loves it and his teachers say he does very well. I've always tried to peek, get there early for pickup, but I always get caught and he sees me and wants me to come in, so I've stopped trying.

But on the heels of his diagnosis I want to see for myself his weaknesses in the classroom setting. Besides being non verbal, which actually is the least of his issues in school, he doesn't play with his peers, or play with toys appropriately. BUT, he's not a behavior problem at all, transitions well and follows direction very well. It's really the socialization and play skills.
So I told the director I'd like to be able to peak but somehow be hidden so they let me in the next door classroom and I hid behind a display in the connecting window. It was the last five minutes and they were doing goodbye circle time. Sang "If you're happy and you know it" and some goodbye song.

Well DS was loving it, bouncing along, but, not in the circle. He was off in a corner staring at the zoo alphabet and pointing at the letters, huge smile on his face, and like I said bouncing to the music, but totally and completley in his own world. I was crushed. I know he knows if you're happy and you know it, we sing it all the time and he does the movements. But he wasn't part of the group.

THIS is what he needs help with, THIS is what he's like at playdates. Off doing his own thing, kinda part of it in his own way but really, on his own. God tell me this will get better. Tell me one day he'll join the group willingly and hold hands with the person next to him.

I just wanted to cry.

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

have you tried a special ed school? DS is Autistic, but was the same way... at 2 he started a spec ed school 3 days a week and because the teachers and aids were qualified and were trained to work with special need kids it helped him ALOT.

he learned to sit i circle time, learned to socialize, etc. maybe this school isnt right for him.

i dont know your child, but if they arent encouraging him or trying to help him participate and socialize then it may not be a right fit

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

My 3 year old sounds alot like your son. He though has fantastic language but when it comes to socialization it just doesn't come naturally. It's getting better but still having a 2 year old (typical) right behind him it breaks my heart how the simple things we can do just doesn't work the same for him.
Hang in there.

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

Thanks for all the responses, so I asked his EI therapists and here in NJ apparently (at least by me) there aren't any "in-school" special needs programs or facilities for under 3. So reallly it's just EI, and/or private therapy sessions too but that's it. There aren't any developmental preKs for under 3. CPSE here is through the school district you live in (not private) and don't start until 3, they are located in the elementary schools.

Ugh, this sucks, I'm so frustrated. Even all the socialization groups for kids on the spectrum that take place on the weekends don't start until 3 yrs old.

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

I'm sad to hear where you live is so different than here. I can't blame you for being frustrated and annoyed. Hoping things go for the better in the future.

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

I have to be honest, what you're describing is pretty typical for many LOs at the end of the preschool day.
I'm a speech pathologist in a school with an Early Intervention classroom- we start our LOs as early as 2 years, 9 months. To not even be 3 and be able to do what you've described is WONDERFUL. Transitions are often the most difficult for my little friends with autism, so much so that it's all-consuming sometimes. Just the fact that he was enjoying the music in his own way would be something I'd see as a plus. Getting him to sit with the group and participate WILL come.

Personally, I think until he's able to be placed into that 3 year old class that having a person to shadow him within the regular ed is a great way to help him to learn how to play appropriately with toys and his peers. Even in a regular ed classroom, there are MANY children who need the same direction.

I want to give you some hugs and good wishes- little guys like yours are my FAVORITE to work with. Once they learn how to initiate and maintain interactions with friends they usually make tremendous progress. He's still so little and those first few months of preschool is a huge leap- it takes some time for them to get the routine down.

I work in Maryland where services are much different, so I'm sorry if this wasn't much help.

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

This is exactly how my son was when he was first diagnosed at 3. We put him in a developmental preschool and seeing some progress. They are being aggressive with the social aspect and feel hes getting the best help for what he needs. If you need to talk fm. I can totally relate and feel your pain.

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

DS started preschool at 3 yo in a special ed school.

While he still does not play with other kids, he really matured.

I say wait another year. Of cousre, you need to monitor that he is in the right setting.

But DS matured so much in the past year in school.

Re: Finally saw for myself what DS is like in his preschool class

This is my DS (he also has PDD-NOS), though he is getting much better (he is almost 4). He started daycare at 2.5, and he would sit and look at books most of the day if they didn't push him to join activities. And when they did push him, he would cry, and sometimes they dropped it and let him do what he wanted. He is now in an integrated Pre-K and that does not happen there--he needs to be part of the class, participate in what the other kids are doing, and they help him figure out how to do that. The teachers in his old daycare were very well-intentioned, but they did not know how to work with him effectively.

But since DC is 3 months from entering a different PreK anyway, I would see if you can get a SEIT in the meantime to work with him--this made a big difference for DS. The SEIT we had also took time to tell his teachers what to do in certain situations, so they started handling him better, and I did see some progress quickly, even before he went to the integrated PreK.

I am sorry this was upsetting. It sounds as if DC is doing reasonably well on his own though, he may not be participating, but he's coping with being in a group and finding a way to enjoy it on his own terms. No, it's not what you want long-term, but he'll get there.