Mentally Ill family member - advice needed

Hello everyone,

I am a fairly active poster but I'm just not comfortable sharing what I'm about to under my real name. Thank you for understanding...


My brother is 29 years old and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychotic features 10+ years ago. He currently lives at home with my parents who are elderly. He has been in and out of short term hospital stays over the years and has not made any progress towards wellness. He is not medication compliant, an alcoholic and drug addict. Last night he called 911 twice on himself last night because he felt paranoid. He felt that someone was trying to kill him. ANyway, he went to the ER but was not admitted. He's now home with my parents.


The point of all of this is that we (my parents and I) feel that it is now time to explore the option of a residence treatment facility. I have been researching online and cannot find anything other than Pilgrim State and Creedmore state hospitals.

Please, can anyone point me in the right direction in terms of finding a facility that can supervise him and his care that is safe? Can my family be the only family that has a chronically mentally ill member who needs constant care? I'm beginning to get frustrated because I cannot seem to find any resources that fit his needs.


Thank you for reading and any input or experience is greatly appreciated.

Re: Mentally Ill family member - advice needed

My biggest piece of advice is to get connected with NAMI. I have heard them to be very resourceful, especially with ways to "get around" the system.

I haven't worked that closely on LI with getting people into mentally ill housing (yet), but I have in NYC and it's a PITA especially if you are not homeless.

(This was about 5 years ago, maybe things have changed).

If he also has had multiple hospitalizations he should be referred to an ICM/SCM or ACT team. They HAVE to follow him. You may need a social worker to refer him though.

Where is he supposed to go for outpatient treatment? That is also a good place to start and they should IMO, do referrals to these kind of places there.

Make sure you or your family take him to the next appointment, and get him to sign off giving you consent to speak with the social worker/psychiatrist. This is something I have had done with clients numerous times so the clinic won't follow up with me ("Oh, I never called you back because I didn't get the written consent yet from the client".)

I believe the place to start for housing on LI is called "single point of entry". I have made one referral to them in the last year, it took them about a week to review (I harassed them daily btw), and then they said the client wasn't eligible because they felt his brain injury was the problem, moreso then his untreated mental health issues. (This is another problem I know with the mental health system, especially if the client does have other services or supports----they tend to "dump" the problem back on them).

You and your parents need to play hardball too with the hospital and refuse to take him back home. This is often the only way to get a social worker at the very least involved. Hospitals again (especially on the weekends) are notorious for discharging a person right home if they feel they have a "safe" home to go to (although 99% of the time that's not the case because of lack of adequate supports). Happens all.the.time.

I believe there's also a number you can call to stall hospital discharges. It usually is on the info packet you get when you are admitted. I think if a complaint is made, it has to be investigated, therefore stalling the discharge a bit.

I know there are other social workers on here, as well as members who may have dealt with similar situations so I hope the chime in with some tips for dealing with our broken system.

Re: Mentally Ill family member - advice needed

Hi! Social Worker here. I just wrote a long response that got erased so I am going to briefly try to remember what I originally wrote.

I think the first step that you should take is getting your brother connected with a Mental Health Case Manager. There are agencies such as FEGS or Central Nassau Guidance who have case management programs. They will assist him with housing amongst other things.

If you chose to apply to housing organizations on your own, you can apply through The Single Point of Access by completing a Universal Housing Application. There are so many organizations on Long Island that provide housing (Central Nassau Guidance, FREE, Federation of Organizations, Concern for Independent Living, SAIL) just to name a few. I attached the housing application for you to look over.

Housing Application

If by some chance your brother does get admitted into the hospital, do not take him home. The hospital will consider him homeless and will have no choice but to find him housing while he is in there. Your parents will have to agree though that they won't take him back. The hospital can not discharge him without a place to live.

I know that this must be so hard for you and your family. If you have any other questions please feel free to FM me. Good Luck

Re: Mentally Ill family member - advice needed

Re: Mentally Ill family member - advice needed

Hello everyone,

I am bumping this post to thank those who offered input last year when I initially posted about my brother. In the past year, I have had a child, my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and my brother has not been in treatment. I tried to discuss the options suggested with my father, but he is resistant. I am not my brother's legal guardian and therefore cannot force any issues.


My question though at this time is, can I place a call to my brother’s doctor or social worker and inform them that my father is out of the country about 50 percent of the time on business and my mother is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s and is not competent to care for my brother and he is in what I believe to be an unsafe environment.

Also, the option of having him live with me is not feasible.

Re: Mentally Ill family member - advice needed

Absolutely advocate for him through his doctor/social worker.

Another thought is referring him to Adult Protective Services and/or Mobile Crisis. (You can google their numbers based on what county you are in).

Both organizations may not initially be helpful, but you never know.