If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

If you use mass transit, are visibly pregnant and there are no seats, do people give up their seats to you?

Just curious, and also who gives up their seat to you....

My preggo friend nearly fainted the other day 'cus she needed to sit down and even asked someone to let her sit. The person didn't budge so she just sat down right at her feet!

I find it appalling that people don't budge when asked!

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

Oh my, that's just awful! Your poor friend!!!

I think in the winter it is harder to tell when women are pregnant in large coats.

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

WOWWWW! They didn't even get up when she asked???

I've only asked one time when I was on a crowded train and overheating and felt like I was going to pass out. The guy got up right away and several people asked me if I was okay etc. And I wasn't showing TOO much at the time so I don't blame people from being unsure.

However, I am almost 29 weeks and obviously pregnant at this point and people are SO RUDE. They will pretend they are sleeping or on their phone/ipad and "don't see me"

I have and will keep count for my own scientific investigation.

It's not hard because I've gotten just FOUR seat offers. 2 from women and 2 from men.

When i get further along, I will be asking people in the priority seats to move their A$$.

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

In the last few weeks I must have popped because now people do offer me a seat. Not everyday, but I'd say 3 or 4 out of 5 days. If I don't get offered a seat and my back is killing me, I will say "excuse me but can I sit down?" just out loud in the general area where I'm standing and see if anyone stands up (in other words, I don't tap a specific person and ask them to stand up for me). So far the 3 times that I've asked, someone has stood up.

Other times, I just stand the whole way (and it sucks). Those times, there's ALWAYS a woman or man standing near me expressing how ridiculous it is that no one offers me a seat!

When I was obviously pregnant, but my belly was smaller, NO ONE offered me a seat. I am 6 months now.

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

I found that when I took the bus, the only people who would offer their seats were women (often with kids with them) while men and the 50+ set would not. I asked a few times at the end of my pregnancy and people would make excuses like "I'm getting off at the next stop" and would leave me to stand. I hated the bus for this reason.

When I took the subway I got a seat 100% of the time. I found that the subway was mainly professionals and the younger set and multiple people would jump up to offer their seat to me. However, it was usually women of all ages or 20/30somethings, male or female, who offered their seat. Middle aged and older men never ever offered their seat. I would ask them sometimes, but someone else would get up instead.

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

Once I popped, I also kept track. I had a big belly in the spring, no coats needed. Plus I'd put my hand on my belly to make it really obvious. It was a social experiment for me.

I always found this "study" interesting

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

Posted by LoveMyHubby605

Posted by Cacarina

Oh my, that's just awful! Your poor friend!!!

I think in the winter it is harder to tell when women are pregnant in large coats.

that is true but I almost always unzip in the train because I get so hot

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

Yes, there have been a few instances where people have given me their seat, or moved over and made room so that I could sit, when the train is super crowded.

Although, not every time.

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

During my pregnancy only one woman offered up their seat. The men will never offer. I actually had a man push me out of the way

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

I don't take the subway now but when I was preggo with ds I did and it was VERY rare that someone would get up for me. I actually had a girl who was standing with me once ask if I needed to sit and started telling people to get up lol

Now that I walk from Penn people just pretend they don't see me and either walk right into me or wont' get out of the way. Best is the men who push in front of me to get on the train first.

Even with my coat closed and all bundled up, the waddle and protruding belly give it away. Some people just don't care.

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

I take the PATH train and get on and off at the last stop so in the morning, I only board if there is a seat available.

In the evening though - sometimes it's hard to avoid standing and only once has someone offered me their seat - it was fairly early on too and it was a woman who looked to be in her 40s.

One time this woman was staring at me - the train was mobbed and I was visibly pregnant - and everytime I looked at her she'd look away. So obnoxious.

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

I can't believe how rude people can be!

I had the exact opposite experience when I was pregnant. Someone always offered up their seats to me, especially young men/teenage boys. Even now, I live in BK and take the subway all the time, and someone always helps me carry my stroller up and down the stairs, and offers their seat to me. I am always amazed how polite people are to me.

That being said, I am the least observant person ever on the subway, and I always feel like crap when I am sitting and I don't notice a pregnant woman has been standing and I didn't offer my seat. I honestly just don't notice them.

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

I'd say I get offered a seat 10% of the time. It's funny that it's only when I wear this one dress too. I am six months pregnant and have a visible belly (according to my coworkers I'm huge), so I don't know what it is about this particular dress, but when I wear it, usually young men will offer me their seat.

I have yet to get a seat offer from another woman!

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

I would say it was 50/50

i took the LIRR and rode the subway every day and when i was super visibly pregnant, i stood for the whole ride once on the LIRR when it was a crowded train. Not one of those Ahole middle aged men stood up to offer me a seat - even when this one woman looked at me and got up to offer me her seat (i declined, it was super hot and i would have been even more uncomfortable smooshed between two other people).

The subway was usually full of people who would either be asleep, or so engrossed in their electronic device that they weren't really paying attention to what was going on around them. There was always a few rides where i was standing with my belly in someone's face and they still wouldn't get up and offer a seat.
One time the LIRR was messed up and i took the E train from 34th to Jamaica (almost 45 min ride) and stood the entire way - not one person offered me a ride!

Then there were plenty of other times where people made a point to get up and give me a seat.

I think its all a matter of if you get noticed or not.

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

Ugh!!! I get a seat sometimes.... I just don't know how people can sit there with my giant belly poking them in the nose. I also hate when I am at the end of the car in the subway (in the spot that's supposed to be for people who need a seat) and nobody gets up. I want to shout "I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING!!!" After I have this baby, I am giving my seat to every pregnant lady I see!

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

With my last pregnancy I had a 20+ min. subway ride and the majority of the time I would get a seat or someone would offer me theirs. Mostly men and/or minorities or foreigners

LIRR- noone gets up, I have never seen it happen!

This pregnancy I'm actually really worried. I take the 2/3 one stop to 42nd and then take the shuttle to grand central. Both trains are ridiculously packed and I have no space. I really don't want my belly to be up against other people, it grosses me out. I wouldn't sit even if there was one because I'm getting off in 2 minutes- so I have to stand with the cattle. Ugh!

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

I will notice that people get up SOMETIMES... And most of the time its another woman getting up... When I wasnt pregnant, the minute I see a pregnant woman get on and no one offers her a seat, literally that same second, I get up and offer my seat to her and tell all the men how rude they are! Cause even when Im not pregnant, I have a very hard time standing on the train I get VERY light headed and feel like Im going to faint...

Now that I am pregnant I always apologize that Im not getting up because I havent popped yet because it makes me feel guilty to not get up, but I get sick if I stand... And like a month ago a pregnant woman got on the train, I made the guy next to me get up for her... He wasnt sleeping, hes just sitting next to me staring at the visibly pregnant woman standing in front of him... I was like excuse me but the polite thing to do is to get up for her, dont you think you should?! LOL He got up and then he went over to the next car cause he must have been embarrassed... Im always APPALLED when people dont get up for pregnant women or the elderly...
But this NY and I guess to be honest nothing shocks me anymore, especially after all the horrible and inconsiderate things I see people do on the trains...

Message edited 1/21/2012 9:36:06 AM.

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

Posted by LoveMyHubby605

Posted by alli3131

During my pregnancy only one woman offered up their seat. The men will never offer. I actually had a man push me out of the way

Good thing DH commutes with me, he would woop their a$$. People are unbelievably rude.

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL

surprisingly when i commuted i got A LOT of people giving me seats on the 1. my stop was only 2 stops from Penn so half the time i didnt want to sit down cause it was harder to get up. but i did get offered A LOT.

the LIRR is another story... once i was on a packed train before i was pregnant and there was a VERY pregnant lady standing in the aisle. i gave her my seat and she was so thankful and said that 90% of the time its women who give their seats not men!! i was going through infertility treatments at the time so i was hoping for the good karma .

anyway i remember my last trip home from the city before i ended up delivering. it was one of those days that a train derailed in the tunnels so everything was messed up and they combined a lot of trains. so i SMOOOOSH my 32w self into the entrance of the train car and ended up crunched in against the back door. it was so crowded and im short i really thought i was gonna suffocate in there and started having a mini panic attack in my head. eventually 2 stops later enough people got off that someone noticed me and when someone else got up to leave they let me go take the seat. but right before i went over another girl sat down and everyone yelled at her to get up!! then she said she didnt see me and she apologized!!

ironically i ended up in the hospital the next day and delivered 5 days later!!

Re: If you're visibly pregnant and commuting - POLL