Getting over paranoia

I had a very bad work experience recently that didn't end well. Fortunately I found a new job that I love shortly thereafter. I know my boss is happy with my work and I have absolutely no reason to think that I'm going to lose my job but I can't help it...the littlest things freak me out. And just in case that wasn't enough, I have nightmares about my last job all the time.

For example, this week my boss went two days without responding to my emails. That freaked me out. In the back of my mind, I knew how busy she was, and I also knew that HR wouldn't be getting my benefits set up if they were planning to let me go but I started getting nervous. It didn't matter that just a few weeks ago she told me what an excellent job I'm doing (and other senior staff have told me the same thing, copying her in). She wasn't responding so in my mind, it was because I did something wrong. Two weeks prior, I had emailed some senior execs who always respond back to me fairly quickly. This time they didn't so I started freaking out that my boss told them to ignore me. Of course that wasn't the case either. I don't know what's wrong with me - how to get over this paranoia, and get the bad dreams out of my head.

Anyone have any suggestions? I know I need to relax but just don't know how.

Message edited 2/19/2012 2:28:34 PM.

Re: Getting over paranoia

I don't have a ton of advice, because I know A LOT of people are going through this because of the economy.

2 people that are fairly new at my job are increasingly stressed out in an already crazy position because of the same fears. Both were laid off from their last position because of budget cuts.

Take care of yourself when you are not at work and also find some positive peer supports on the job. They usually help to reinforce that you are not doing anything wrong.

Stay away from any negative Nellies.

Re: Getting over paranoia

I can totally relate to your OP because I was in a similar situation a few years ago. After getting my professional license, I scored a job paying double what I was making at my old firm, and after 6 months of being there - was laid off because the firm lost clients and they had has no work coming in. In the end, they chose senior level employees for the start up firm and told me they followed the "first one hired, first one fired" principle..

I then worked at a serious of places for the next 2 years where I was either canned or the firm found reasons to let me go (I am pretty sure one was borderline discrimnation - I was the only minority female in a firm with 95% white males in senior level positions supervising my work). Another small law firm fired me after only 3 days because the office manager wasn't at my initial interview and thought the Partner "sideswiped" her when he hired me without her input. For several weeks, I was on unemployment benefits and my self esteem was on the floor. I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere.

I've been at my current job now for over 4 years and like OP, felt EXTREMELY INSECURE. What helped me overcome that was to work my butt of that first couple of months. I used to come in on Saturdays just to make management aware that I was "going the extra mile". I also kept any work relationships to a minimum (skipped out early on any happy hour events).

That approach seems to have paid off - I have nearly doubled my initial salary and earned consecutive 12% raises over the past 3 years. I really can't complain. When you bust your hump and make that known to your supervisory, it DOES get recognized in some form or another!!!

Message edited 2/20/2012 10:24:20 AM.

Re: Getting over paranoia

Posted by MrsS1976

I can totally relate to your OP because I was in a similar situation a few years ago. After getting my professional license, I scored a job paying double what I was making at my old firm, and after 6 months of being there - was laid off because the firm lost clients and they had has no work coming in. In the end, they chose senior level employees for the start up firm and told me they followed the "first one hired, first one fired" principle..

I then worked at a serious of places for the next 2 years where I was either canned or the firm found reasons to let me go (I am pretty sure one was borderline discrimnation - I was the only minority female in a firm with 95% white males in senior level positions supervising my work). Another small law firm fired me after only 3 days because the office manager wasn't at my initial interview and thought the Partner "sideswiped" her when he hired me without her input. For several weeks, I was on unemployment benefits and my self esteem was on the floor. I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere.

I've been at my current job now for over 4 years and like OP, felt EXTREMELY INSECURE. What helped me overcome that was to work my butt of that first couple of months. I used to come in on Saturdays just to make management aware that I was "going the extra mile". I also kept any work relationships to a minimum (skipped out early on any happy hour events).

That approach seems to have paid off - I have nearly doubled my initial salary and earned consecutive 12% raises over the past 3 years. I really can't complain. When you bust your hump and make that known to your supervisory, it DOES get recognized in some form or another!!!

Re: Getting over paranoia

Posted by bikramaddict

Wow! What a great success story for you. Congrats!!

Thanks for sharing your story too - it makes me feel better knowing that someone else has felt the way I do right now. Can I ask why you kept your work relationships to a minimum? I've never been out of the office friends with anyone that I worked with, but I'll go for lunch or coffee with people from time to time in this job.