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DumpsterBaby
My compass when I'm lost
Member since 5/11 2210 total posts
Name:
My anchor when I get tossed
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Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
DON'T QUOTE
Disclaimer 1: She was directing her comments to another couple, whom I met last night for the first time.
Disclaimer 2: She is usually obnoxious and has NO filter whatsoever, but she went over the top last night.
*******
"You're whole reason for existing is to bring children into the world"
"If you don't have kids you might as well just jump off a bridge"
"WTFF is wrong with you for not wanting kids?"
To the girl: "You should leave him if he doesn't want kids"
To the guy: "You're ruining her life by not having kids"
*******
DH and I just sat there shaking our heads. We know she is absurdly inappropriate with her comments, and I don't agree with 99% of who she is and what she says, but we deal with her because our best friend married her. She was just VILE last night and I have a big mouth to say something, but I know it's not worth it and she will never realize that she was rude, wrong and cruel. She will just scream and yell at me that I'm taking it too seriously, to lighten up, etc. The more I think about what she did/said last night (among other things), I want to say something to them. I don't want to be around someone who spews hatred and puts others down 
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Posted 2/12/12 11:13 AM  |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
I seriously don't know how you kept quiet. That chick wouldve felt 1" tall if it was me. Seriously.
Along the lines of "People like YOU are why I don't want to bring kids into this world!"
How did the couple respond?
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| Posted 2/12/12 1:06 PM |
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MrsS1976
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/11 534 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
There are people out there who really think like this. Its sad but I just ignore them. Their minds will never change.
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| Posted 2/12/12 1:48 PM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Let me guess- she has 2-3 kids and is completely miserable though she doesn't admit it?
Misery loves company. And I have actually had parents admit to me that they go around campaigning to the CF people to have children so that these CF people can experience their misery.
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| Posted 2/12/12 2:33 PM |
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DumpsterBaby
My compass when I'm lost
Member since 5/11 2210 total posts
Name:
My anchor when I get tossed
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
No, she does not have kids, g'd help them when they do. I don't know how this girl has any friends...she is so mean and nasty  The other couple laughed it off; I'm not certain they are 100% CF, but we were all hanging out drinking and I don't think they took it seriously.
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| Posted 2/12/12 3:47 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Posted by marianne13
Misery loves company. And I have actually had parents admit to me that they go around campaigning to the CF people to have children so that these CF people can experience their misery.
My co-worker does this... she actually admitted to me that that's why she got excited when another co-worker announced being pregnant... I thought that was kinda weird!
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| Posted 2/12/12 9:21 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Anyone who'd say those comments to another person is ignorant & rude!!
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| Posted 2/12/12 9:23 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
They should jump off a bridge...wow!  
I don't think I could have laughed all that off. What sucks is saying something won't make a difference and she'll continue to berate people for life's choices or circumstances.
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| Posted 2/13/12 9:32 AM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
1. These sentiments she expressed are not a sign of a socially adept person.
2. The idea that most parents are secretly unhappy and revelling in others' pain when they become parents is as twisted, cruel, and overall messed up as the idea that CF people are unfulfilled, bitter, and child-hating. I feel sorry for people who acually fit either of these bills, but I don't know any personally.
Most people that I know (including on here) are genuinely happy and fulfilled by their choices. Spreading any of these myths about any group is not constructive.
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| Posted 2/13/12 2:14 PM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Seriously ?
I would have left so as not to have to listen to the ignorant rantings of a person who doesn't have kids, yet preaches about what you should do with your uterus. That or shut her mouth in a way that is not ladylike.
Sooner or later no one will want to be around this sick chick.
Filters are a great thing.
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| Posted 2/14/12 9:01 AM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Posted by DumpsterBaby
No, she does not have kids, g'd help them when they do. I don't know how this girl has any friends...she is so mean and nasty The other couple laughed it off; I'm not certain they are 100% CF, but we were all hanging out drinking and I don't think they took it seriously.
The fact that she doesn't even have kids makes this even more ridiculous. Is she even married or close to marriage?
I remember someone who made very similar comments to a girl who said that her and her hubby weren't having kids. This person basically said that he and his wife were going to start having kids real soon and that life is basically worthless without kids. Well that was at least 5-6 years ago and this person still doesn't have kids. I don't know if they changed their mind and it's by choice or if it isn't by choice..Either way, it does make him look silly for making comments like that.
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| Posted 2/14/12 9:52 AM |
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DumpsterBaby
My compass when I'm lost
Member since 5/11 2210 total posts
Name:
My anchor when I get tossed
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Posted by marianne13
Posted by DumpsterBaby
No, she does not have kids, g'd help them when they do. I don't know how this girl has any friends...she is so mean and nasty The other couple laughed it off; I'm not certain they are 100% CF, but we were all hanging out drinking and I don't think they took it seriously.
The fact that she doesn't even have kids makes this even more ridiculous. Is she even married or close to marriage?
I remember someone who made very similar comments to a girl who said that her and her hubby weren't having kids. This person basically said that he and his wife were going to start having kids real soon and that life is basically worthless without kids. Well that was at least 5-6 years ago and this person still doesn't have kids. I don't know if they changed their mind and it's by choice or if it isn't by choice..Either way, it does make him look silly for making comments like that.
Yes, she is married, and he just let's her rant
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| Posted 2/15/12 10:55 AM |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
That's a twisted individual who clearly has her own internal issues to deal with before she doles out advice to those around her!
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| Posted 2/15/12 11:14 AM |
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KittyKatCopper
missing my handsome boy
Member since 3/09 1579 total posts
Name:
Kat - HamptonsBride (LIW)
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
...jumping off a bridge now 
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| Posted 2/15/12 10:09 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Posted by KittyKatCopper
...jumping off a bridge now
Preferably a bungee on an exotic vacay
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| Posted 2/16/12 10:34 AM |
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LondonGirl
LIF Infant
Member since 1/12 243 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
That's ridiculous! I have a dear friend that suffered from infertility. They didn't want to go the surrogate route and couldn't adopt. Should she take a dive too?!?
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| Posted 2/17/12 11:04 AM |
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newbie00
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 1191 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
what an a*s.....who is she to say anything if she doesn't even have her own kids? I would have said something and pointed that fact out.
Stupid people in the world
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| Posted 2/19/12 9:30 AM |
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blondiebabyZ
Ohhhh yeaaahh!!
Member since 6/10 1033 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Its a shame that people think that way...
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| Posted 2/22/12 12:59 PM |
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barbmin
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 117 total posts
Name:
Barbara
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Posted by PearlJamChick
That's a twisted individual who clearly has her own internal issues to deal with before she doles out advice to those around her!
or before she brings another life into this world
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| Posted 2/22/12 6:08 PM |
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moonmist09
Thank you, St. Gerard!
Member since 2/11 5043 total posts
Name:
Antonella
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
your a better person thatn i am because i would not have been able to keep my mouth shut
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| Posted 2/24/12 1:54 PM |
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shadows
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 4694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Posted by drpepper318
Posted by marianne13
Misery loves company. And I have actually had parents admit to me that they go around campaigning to the CF people to have children so that these CF people can experience their misery.
My co-worker does this... she actually admitted to me that that's why she got excited when another co-worker announced being pregnant... I thought that was kinda weird!
I am quite sure this is why my friends sometimes pressure me to have kids. Sad. And it makes me more sure than ever that i want to remain CF!
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| Posted 3/6/12 9:09 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Posted by marianne13
Let me guess- she has 2-3 kids and is completely miserable though she doesn't admit it?
Misery loves company. And I have actually had parents admit to me that they go around campaigning to the CF people to have children so that these CF people can experience their misery.
People who say things like that shouldn't be parents. I've never heard one person say something like that, thank god. I don't think thats a normal mentality. I would think they'd be excited for one another to experience it, not wanting anyone to be "miserable". SO ODD!!
And sorry to crash...i read all the boards on this site pretty much, lol.
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| Posted 3/15/12 8:44 AM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by marianne13
Let me guess- she has 2-3 kids and is completely miserable though she doesn't admit it?
Misery loves company. And I have actually had parents admit to me that they go around campaigning to the CF people to have children so that these CF people can experience their misery.
People who say things like that shouldn't be parents. I've never heard one person say something like that, thank god. I don't think thats a normal mentality. I would think they'd be excited for one another to experience it, not wanting anyone to be "miserable". SO ODD!!
And sorry to crash...i read all the boards on this site pretty much, lol.
THIS!!! It's a very sick menatality, and it's just as bad tio accuse parents of something so twisted as it is to assume that childless people are sad, bitter, unfulfilled, etc. It's all just ignorance --and it wreaks a bit of sour grapes. The people that I know with children all say that they make them happy in a way that no one else could.
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| Posted 3/15/12 2:15 PM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Posted by seaside
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by marianne13
Let me guess- she has 2-3 kids and is completely miserable though she doesn't admit it?
Misery loves company. And I have actually had parents admit to me that they go around campaigning to the CF people to have children so that these CF people can experience their misery.
People who say things like that shouldn't be parents. I've never heard one person say something like that, thank god. I don't think thats a normal mentality. I would think they'd be excited for one another to experience it, not wanting anyone to be "miserable". SO ODD!!
And sorry to crash...i read all the boards on this site pretty much, lol.
THIS!!! It's a very sick menatality, and it's just as bad tio accuse parents of something so twisted as it is to assume that childless people are sad, bitter, unfulfilled, etc. It's all just ignorance --and it wreaks a bit of sour grapes. The people that I know with children all say that they make them happy in a way that no one else could.
Sick mentality? I specifically said that parents have actually admitted this to me. Blame these parents for actually admitting their "secret" out loud if you want to blame someone.
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| Posted 3/15/12 3:43 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wow...what a supposed friend said about being childfree
Posted by marianne13
Posted by seaside
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by marianne13
Let me guess- she has 2-3 kids and is completely miserable though she doesn't admit it?
Misery loves company. And I have actually had parents admit to me that they go around campaigning to the CF people to have children so that these CF people can experience their misery.
People who say things like that shouldn't be parents. I've never heard one person say something like that, thank god. I don't think thats a normal mentality. I would think they'd be excited for one another to experience it, not wanting anyone to be "miserable". SO ODD!!
And sorry to crash...i read all the boards on this site pretty much, lol.
THIS!!! It's a very sick menatality, and it's just as bad tio accuse parents of something so twisted as it is to assume that childless people are sad, bitter, unfulfilled, etc. It's all just ignorance --and it wreaks a bit of sour grapes. The people that I know with children all say that they make them happy in a way that no one else could.
Sick mentality? I specifically said that parents have actually admitted this to me. Blame these parents for actually admitting their "secret" out loud if you want to blame someone.
Re-read our two posts above and you'll see that our comments about mentality were not about yours.
I suppose there must some parents who made a horrible mistake and wish their downfall on others. I also suppose that there are some childless people who are bitter, jealous, selfish, and unfulfilled.
However, I thought that the whole point of this board was to reaffirm that most are not and to battle the negative assumptions and the inability to understand that people are happy with their choices. This should work in all directions. The assumption that this judgemntal friend in the OP was an unhappy parent isn't true.
The assumption that parents who talk about having kids are plotting others' ruination is not well-founded. The assumption that childless people who express their happiness with their decision are masking bitterness and sour grapes is also not well-founded. There should be more respect in both directions, IMO, even if there are outliers.
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| Posted 3/15/12 4:02 PM |
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