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monkeysrus
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/11 13 total posts
Name:
Lee
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Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Me and my boyfriend have been together over 6 years now. It is now our son's 4th birthday on March 15th. I am having a very hard time planning the party, due to the fact my boyfriends family hates me over something very stupid i did over a year ago. So not only that they refuse to have one party for my son it has to be 2 separate partys one for boyfriends family and one for mine. I am at lost for words what I did was personal but it wasnt horrible I didn't kill anyone. My son is also disabled and highly allergic to peanuts so I make everything for his 2 parties is a huge inconvenience to me. Any advice?
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Posted 3/2/12 1:25 PM  |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
So you have to plan a separate party AND do all of the cooking for people who hate you? Why? Do hate everyone in your family and refuse to attend a party in their presence? Or do they just dislike you? I'm confused about that.
Dude, the ball is in your court here. It's your kid, your rules. I would say hold ONE party. Invite them. If they don't come, oh well. Their loss. That's it. They can't like you any less, it seems.
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| Posted 3/2/12 1:35 PM |
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
No matter what you did that's your son. You don't owe anyone a second party. I don't make special accommodations for other peoples problems. They can get over it for your kid, or they can stay home. IMHO.
I hope it works out. 
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| Posted 3/2/12 1:51 PM |
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
They need to get over it or you are setting yourself to have this problem for years.
Do you attend both gatherings?
What does your BF think of all this?
He needs to grow a spine too if he's letting his family push you around.
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| Posted 3/2/12 2:02 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Is there any way you can mend fences to avoid this whole situation?
If not, I would have one party, invite everyone and let them make the decision. After all, it's about your son, not them or you.
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| Posted 3/2/12 2:05 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by PearlJamChick
Dude, the ball is in your court here. It's your kid, your rules. I would say hold ONE party. Invite them. If they don't come, oh well. Their loss. That's it. They can't like you any less, it seems.
I agree.
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| Posted 3/2/12 2:13 PM |
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monkeysrus
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/11 13 total posts
Name:
Lee
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
I told my mom today how this was upsetting me and she tried to call his mom and she didnt even pick up the phone we know she was home because my boyfriend just left I want all this sorted out I told my boyfriend it isnt fair to our son he has no back bone at all with his family and this is so ridiculous I think I will just tell him I wont cook for both parties and if his family doesnt come to the one I am giving and paying for then oh well I am really getting tired of it and we are having it at a park so there is no reason not to come!!
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| Posted 3/2/12 2:14 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by monkeysrus
I told my mom today how this was upsetting me and she tried to call his mom and she didnt even pick up the phone we know she was home because my boyfriend just left I want all this sorted out I told my boyfriend it isnt fair to our son he has no back bone at all with his family and this is so ridiculous I think I will just tell him I wont cook for both parties and if his family doesnt come to the one I am giving and paying for then oh well I am really getting tired of it and we are having it at a park so there is no reason not to come!!
This is the longest sentence on LIF ever!!
Sorry, back to the issue-honestly, THEY have to get over themselves and their issue. Tell them that there will be one party, they are invited, but you are not having two parties. End of story. Put your foot down now before you live the rest of your life like this.
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| Posted 3/2/12 2:18 PM |
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by neener1211
This is the longest sentence on LIF ever!!
.
LMAO!!!! OMG too funny....I dont know the op but I can just picture this coming all out in one breath and then a big gasp for air.
i do the same thing!
I would have one party. They can suck it up for your son, or they csn have another party. To be spiteful though, I would show up at the other party. Or every date they try to plan it on, say you have other obligations. He's your son, they can suck an egg.
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| Posted 3/2/12 2:23 PM |
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ModDot
PUMPKIN ALL THE THINGS
Member since 8/11 2196 total posts
Name:
Trissy
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by PearlJamChick
So you have to plan a separate party AND do all of the cooking for people who hate you? Why? Do hate everyone in your family and refuse to attend a party in their presence? Or do they just dislike you? I'm confused about that.
Dude, the ball is in your court here. It's your kid, your rules. I would say hold ONE party. Invite them. If they don't come, oh well. Their loss. That's it. They can't like you any less, it seems.
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| Posted 3/2/12 2:35 PM |
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dctead
It's 5 o'clock somewhere!
Member since 11/10 2139 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by neener1211
This is the longest sentence on LIF ever!!
 AGREED!
And I also agree... time to put your foot down with his family (and him!). Set boundries of what you will and won't tolerate... If they can't get past and/or forgive - its not on you... thats on them and it's their loss.
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| Posted 3/2/12 2:38 PM |
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jilliibabii
Mrs. O'Connor
Member since 6/10 12821 total posts
Name:
Jillian
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by neener1211
Posted by PearlJamChick
Dude, the ball is in your court here. It's your kid, your rules. I would say hold ONE party. Invite them. If they don't come, oh well. Their loss. That's it. They can't like you any less, it seems.
I agree.
Same here. Also, I'd tell your b/f to go to bat for your every once in awhile. It is HIS family.
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| Posted 3/2/12 2:43 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by PearlJamChick
So you have to plan a separate party AND do all of the cooking for people who hate you? Why? Do hate everyone in your family and refuse to attend a party in their presence? Or do they just dislike you? I'm confused about that.
Dude, the ball is in your court here. It's your kid, your rules. I would say hold ONE party. Invite them. If they don't come, oh well. Their loss. That's it. They can't like you any less, it seems.
ITA!
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| Posted 3/2/12 3:26 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
I agree with the other posters. It doesn't matter what you did to upset your boyfriends parents. This is YOUR son. It's enough that you're inviting them to the party. If they can't get over it for their grandson, at least you tried. But if you give in with the two parties and cooking for both your setting yourself up for many years of that. Thy will want to do this every year for his birthday. What about when your son grow up and gets married? Will they insist on two weddings? Two separate birthday parties for your sons children someday? This could go on for the rest of their lives if you don't put a stop to it now. If thy want to do something special for him for his birthday thats nice but they shouldn't exclude his mother and make her cook for the event.
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| Posted 3/2/12 4:02 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Don't do it. I'll go with Dear Abby's repeated advice on the subject:
Plan one party & whoever chooses to come does. If someone chooses to exclude themselves from your son's party, that's their choice.
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| Posted 3/2/12 4:35 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by nrthshgrl
Don't do it. I'll go with Dear Abby's repeated advice on the subject:
Plan one party & whoever chooses to come does. If someone chooses to exclude themselves from your son's party, that's their choice.
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| Posted 3/2/12 4:38 PM |
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monkeysrus
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/11 13 total posts
Name:
Lee
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Ok he was at his moms again and asked to spend the night with joey I told him to get his F$#@ing A$$ home because I am tired of all the ********. This ends now Im a mess!! I do not need his fasmily putting stress on me I am DONE!
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| Posted 3/2/12 5:17 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Here is what you do: throw one party for your son. Invite everyone who should be invited. Those who want to be there will come. Those who don't will miss his birthday. The end!
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| Posted 3/2/12 8:05 PM |
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KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by nrthshgrl
Don't do it. I'll go with Dear Abby's repeated advice on the subject:
Plan one party & whoever chooses to come does. If someone chooses to exclude themselves from your son's party, that's their choice.
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| Posted 3/2/12 8:32 PM |
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Jan1975
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Member since 8/09 3846 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
So I will address the elephant in the room...what did you do that they are so pi$$ed about?
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| Posted 3/2/12 8:50 PM |
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by SweetApril
So I will address the elephant in the room...what did you do that they are so pi$$ed about?
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| Posted 3/2/12 9:46 PM |
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KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by SweetApril
So I will address the elephant in the room...what did you do that they are so pi$$ed about?
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| Posted 3/3/12 11:56 AM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
one party,
if they don't want to come, or only want to show up at cake(something my sisters inlaws have done) then its their choice, their loss.
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| Posted 3/3/12 1:09 PM |
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monkeysrus
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/11 13 total posts
Name:
Lee
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
Posted by SweetApril
So I will address the elephant in the room...what did you do that they are so pi$$ed about?
I was going threw an addiction to pills I took her bottle of loratabs which had about 8 of hem, but like i said i put myself in the hospital went to counselling and seeing a therapist and psychiatrists. I let it get out of hand and im embarrassed about it but i am getting help i was also diagnose with bipolar, adhd, and post traumatic stress syndrome.
I love my life now and I don't want my kids to ever see me like that again. I know it was wrong i eve apologized and now she hates me but in a way i can't blame her
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| Posted 3/3/12 10:41 PM |
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Re: Need Advice About Boyfriend's Family
That's a silly reason to hate someone, IMHO. If u hurt her or her son or grandchild, sure. You had a problem, you're working on it, not her business. That's why you have to have a separate party for her? Pay her copay for the 8 pills and tell her to get over herself. I'm sure she's not perfect.
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| Posted 3/3/12 11:01 PM |
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