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3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
I currently babysit for a little girl that is 3 years and 4 months old... She is out of control... Her mom doesn't know what to do anymore she's so beside herself that I basically have this little girl full time. She is going on 3 n a half and she doesn't know anything. She can't talk yet, she isn't potty trained, she can't eat with utensils. And she refuses to learn anything. No matter what you tell her she either ignores you or does the complete opposite i even try telling her to do the wrong thing sometimes thinking she will do the opposite (the right thing) but she doesn't. She's in her own world and no matter what I or her mother does she just Cannot or will not learn. She is scheduled for a developmental evaluation in June because we think there is seriously something wrong in her brain but we need to know what we can do in the meantime. This is not normal. her temper tantrums are more frequent than her good moments. I love children and I like to have her around but i find that i'm yelling at her more and more, and I hate it. But she just is so stubborn and its so frustrating because at her age she should be able to articulate why she can't or won't do what she is told but she has such a limited vocabulary that she can't even tell me whats really going on. Does anyone else have any experience that is similar to this and possibly any advice on how to handle her. I have ALOT of patience especially when it comes to young children but she is just so draining. I don't know if i even explained this situation well enough so if you have any questions feel free to ask if it might help you give me some advice on what to do...HELPPPPP!!!!!!!!!
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Posted 3/12/12 3:53 PM  |
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
June is too long. The mom needs to call ei now.
And don't say there is something wrong in her brain. It sounds mean.
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| Posted 3/12/12 4:16 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
Posted by greenybeans
June is too long. The mom needs to call ei now.
And don't say there is something wrong in her brain. It sounds mean.
ITA-- no need to wait till June. An eval can happen within a few weeks if the call is made now.
So many aspects of this post saddened me. First of all, this is not a "bad" child. I'm not a professional but based on the description the OP gave, this child has special needs that need to be addressed. Her behaviors are a manifestation of these problems and the frustration she must feel. Then you have the mother so fed up that she's handing her off to the babysitter full-time, and the babysitter is admitting she's losing patience (which is understandable, I'm not criticizing this) and saying that "something is wrong with this child's brain". Overall I just feel so bad for this little girl who just needs help.
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| Posted 3/12/12 4:20 PM |
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
Posted by computergirl
Posted by greenybeans
June is too long. The mom needs to call ei now.
And don't say there is something wrong in her brain. It sounds mean.
ITA-- no need to wait till June. An eval can happen within a few weeks if the call is made now.
So many aspects of this post saddened me. First of all, this is not a "bad" child. I'm not a professional but based on the description the OP gave, this child has special needs that need to be addressed. Her behaviors are a manifestation of these problems and the frustration she must feel. Then you have the mother so fed up that she's handing her off to the babysitter full-time, and the babysitter is admitting she's losing patience (which is understandable, I'm not criticizing this) and saying that "something is wrong with this child's brain". Overall I just feel so bad for this little girl who just needs help.
Yes. The mom needs to call early intervention. Google the number for Nassau or Suffolk, or wherever you live. They will evaluate he within 30 days and she will get the help that you all need.
Good luck.
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| Posted 3/12/12 4:24 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
Posted by computergirl
Posted by greenybeans
June is too long. The mom needs to call ei now.
And don't say there is something wrong in her brain. It sounds mean.
ITA-- no need to wait till June. An eval can happen within a few weeks if the call is made now.
So many aspects of this post saddened me. First of all, this is not a "bad" child. I'm not a professional but based on the description the OP gave, this child has special needs that need to be addressed. Her behaviors are a manifestation of these problems and the frustration she must feel. Then you have the mother so fed up that she's handing her off to the babysitter full-time, and the babysitter is admitting she's losing patience (which is understandable, I'm not criticizing this) and saying that "something is wrong with this child's brain". Overall I just feel so bad for this little girl who just needs help.
I understand and feel the same way, BUT before people start attacking her, we might be better served by reminding ourselves that some people may never have been around a child that has special needs, and may not realize just how sensitive of a situation it is, and how sensitive others may be to it, and how it is described. Yes, even in this day and age. JMHO.
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| Posted 3/12/12 4:24 PM |
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
Since she is 3- the Mother has to call the school district to have her evaluated. She needs to call tomorrow!!! Call the central office of the school district and tell them the situation- they will direct you to the right place.
This is not typical and you're right something is not right and this little girl should get all the help she needs.
I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers.
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| Posted 3/12/12 4:34 PM |
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
Posted by carolyns4cupcakes
Since she is 3- the Mother has to call the school district to have her evaluated. She needs to call tomorrow!!! Call the central office of the school district and tell them the situation- they will direct you to the right place.
This is TRUE. She is 3.4 The mom needs to call her school district, not EI.
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| Posted 3/12/12 4:40 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
I've seen ei and sd called many times for children in my daycare they never make you wait long most times they will see a child within 2-4 weeks. Also the mom should call the pediatrician and make an appointment. This child needs the appropriate services. Children aren't bad she is probably very frustrated because he can't communicate!
Message edited 3/12/2012 5:12:00 PM.
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| Posted 3/12/12 5:11 PM |
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A3CM
Avatar Title
Member since 9/08 3762 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
she has already aged out of EI, so calling EI is a waste of time.. what she needs to do is contact the school district and have evaluations set up.. and yes it can take as long as until June for the 1st one to happen. it depends on what doctor she chooses to see and how long the wait is. CPSE will refer you to developmental Pediatricians or a neurologist unless they are in services already through EI (which she isn't) very frustrating
good luck.. but i would def call a different doctor to have her evaluated sooner.
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| Posted 3/12/12 5:15 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
It sounds as this girl has a serious developmental delay. Please keep in the back of your mind that she is not refusing to learn and likely its the thing that's "wrong with her brain" that is making it impossible to learn. Someone needs to find a way to help her to learn. I would start with some simple signs. You can find signs online. Start with foods that she likes to eat.
My heart goes out to this little girl who has suffered so long in silence while her needs weren't addressed.
If this was my child, I would not wait a moment longer. I would pay out of pocket to have her evaluated immediately. (O/T and Speech services are usually covered by insurance) and I would at least start the ball rolling. Every day that passes is a day lost for this little girl.
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| Posted 3/12/12 7:45 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
This breaks my heart. This child is aged out of EI. Mom needs to contact the school district NOW. Do not let mom delay the girl anymore, especially until June. That is way to far away.
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| Posted 3/12/12 9:16 PM |
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
OK I really need to clarify that I don't mean to sound mean by the something wrong in her brain comment. What I meant was that I think she has a learning disability or something that I don't fully understand. I wasn't trying to sound insulting. I didn't know how to word it properly and i'm sorry for that...
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| Posted 3/12/12 9:24 PM |
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
And that's all I really want is to find out what kind of help she needs and how I can give it to her and how to tell her mom the right thing to do without sounding like i'm overstepping my boundaries as a babysitter.
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| Posted 3/12/12 9:26 PM |
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
I can tell that she really is frustrated that she can't communicate and it's really sad to see her get so upset. I just want to see her get the right kind of help that she needs and being that the fact is that she is in my care as much as she is I just want to now the best way to help her that I can. I don't know why her mom is telling me that the appointment couldn't be made until June because that does seem like a really long wait considering the circumstances.
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| Posted 3/12/12 9:30 PM |
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
I wish I was in her life sooner because while I am young I have been a caregiver to children since I was a child myself and I know that she's not developmentally where she should be for her age. If she was my child she would have been evaluated a long time ago but as this case goes she is not my child and i'm just trying to figure out what to do because i have never been in this situation before. I really want to find out what I can do to help and what I can tell her mom to do without overstepping. I know this is a sensitive situation and I don't want to offend her mom. I think the way I worded my original post wasn't exactly proper because I was very stressed at the moment that I wrote it. Whoever wrote though that she's not refusing to learn was right though I just never thought about it that way. Maybe because she says NO so very much. but i wasn't considering that maybe she says it because she doesn't know what else to say... I'm just stressed out trying to deal with everything. And i'm so frustrated right now with this website though that everyone is so focused on the fact that I said I think there is something wrong in her brain I mean my goodness I didn't mean it to be insulting I'm sorry that I was stressed to my limit at the moment I wrote it and couldn't think of how to properly word the fact that I think she may have some kind of a learning disability. I wasn't trying to way that I think theres something wrong with her that's her fault. I just think that she does need help and I just want to do whatever I can to help her. I don't think anyone has addressed her problems yet to this point
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| Posted 3/12/12 9:43 PM |
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
P.S. I don't think that she's just a bad child AT ALL!!! I don't think any children are bad just misunderstood.
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| Posted 3/12/12 9:46 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
Posted by Bearcat
Posted by computergirl
Posted by greenybeans
June is too long. The mom needs to call ei now.
And don't say there is something wrong in her brain. It sounds mean.
ITA-- no need to wait till June. An eval can happen within a few weeks if the call is made now.
So many aspects of this post saddened me. First of all, this is not a "bad" child. I'm not a professional but based on the description the OP gave, this child has special needs that need to be addressed. Her behaviors are a manifestation of these problems and the frustration she must feel. Then you have the mother so fed up that she's handing her off to the babysitter full-time, and the babysitter is admitting she's losing patience (which is understandable, I'm not criticizing this) and saying that "something is wrong with this child's brain". Overall I just feel so bad for this little girl who just needs help.
I understand and feel the same way, BUT before people start attacking her, we might be better served by reminding ourselves that some people may never have been around a child that has special needs, and may not realize just how sensitive of a situation it is, and how sensitive others may be to it, and how it is described. Yes, even in this day and age. JMHO.
i agree with Bearcat 100%. Lets help this woman get this little girl help rather than attack her choice of words.
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| Posted 3/12/12 9:51 PM |
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ladybug7
LIF Infant
Member since 3/06 247 total posts
Name:
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
The parent should call the school district - either the special education or pupil personnel services office (different districts have different names for the dept.) She needs an evaluation through the committee on preschool special education (CPSE). Once the district has her signed consent to evaluate, the evaluations and initial CPSE meeting must be held within 30 calendar days.
HTH.
FM me if you want more info on the evaluation process.
Message edited 3/12/2012 10:02:24 PM.
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| Posted 3/12/12 9:54 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
I'm sorry, but I'm shocked that this child hasn't been evaluated yet?! Was/is the mom in denial? I can't see how a pediatrician has not sent her to some sort of specialist or EI before now. Unfortunately, I don't know how to advise you at this point short of encouraging the mom to fast track this evaluation.
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| Posted 3/12/12 10:33 PM |
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
Thank you Ladybug 7 I really appreciate your advice!
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| Posted 3/13/12 5:18 PM |
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
also thank you to maymama... for defending me, I really wasn't trying to be insulting with my wording, I was stressed out when I wrote it and couldn't think of how to word it properly i'm sorry for that and I appreciate someone defending me instead of tearing me up for not being politically correct enough... I was really just trying to figure out how to get some help and i appreciate someone being able to see that...
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| Posted 3/13/12 5:24 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
Is there anyway you can sit down with the mom and just go over what you've seen and how you feel? Do you think mom would understand?
If you can get her on board, then, have her call the pediatrician and/or the school district and get the ball rolling.
The pediatrician may be able to recommend a developmental ped or maybe a neurologist.
First step I would take as the babysitter is have a heart to heart with mom. 
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| Posted 3/13/12 5:32 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: 3 YEAR OLD OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
I agree with the others, she needs to be evaluated ASAP. Try to have a talk with the mom and explain that having her evaluated will help everyone.
What you describe is not normal behavior for a 3 year old, it defintiely sounds likes she has delays.
Good luck you and this little girl, I hope you can help her mom understand.
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| Posted 3/13/12 11:21 PM |
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