completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

Girls, I could really use some words of wisdom. I posted on the IF board that we went on Friday for our first sono and saw 2 heeartbeats I know that this is more than we hoped for and at times I am over the moon. I am a complete hormonal mess though :( I've been crying since last night.. I feel totally overwhelmed.. like how is my body going to support 2 babies, how the heck am I going to manage 2 after their born? I feel embarrassed when people ask if twins run in our family and I say no.. I know I dont owe anyone an explanation but I feel judged when they realize it was thru if treatments.
for 2 years I had gotten so used to disappointment that in the back on my mind, I just always thought we might end up childless... and I think this is a crazy adjustment.
I know my hormones are going bonkers right now but I feel so weird and guilty that Im sory of complaining and that Im not glowing with excitement. Im just petrified. And I want to throw up all day long.
Sorry for the vent, I just dont know what to do with these emotions right now.

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

Awww hang in there! Your hormones are definitely a little nutty right now and hearing that" you are having twins " takes some time to digest! I too went through IF treatments and while I was sooooooooo excited I was sooooo nervous about the unknown. I was terrified about the financial aspect of it all. Take some time to take it all in and I am sure you nerves will get better.

As far as telling people about your IF treatments you have to do what you are comfortable with. My close friends and my family know about the treatments. When others ask me if twins run in my family I will sometimes just say "not that I know of" or "they do know" sometimes with strangers I will just say yes because it is easier.

Life was an adjustment but I wouldn't change it for the world. I look at friends and others on LIF who are still struggling with IF and I know how blessed I am and try not to complain if I am having a tough day. Overall it is not bad at all....my twins are my only kids so I didn't know anything different but having 2. It is all about being prepared and having a good routine. Honestly having twins in the so rewarding. One day soon you will feel the same Hang in there!!

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

heres the thing...jsut cause we did ivf etc to get preg...doesnt mean that when we do become preg that we arent terrified/overwhelmed.
i felt/feel guilty sometimes for having the not always happy feeling that i thought comes with being able to have a baby.

i personally have felt like i have had some sort of flu/stomach flu/migraine/headache/depression/anxiety/fibromyalgia at least to some degree every single day of this pregnancy.
so when i wasnt barfing..i was worried something was wrong. when my feet swelling i worried something else was wrong.
then i stillllll worry i am gonna suck at being a mom bc well heck i have never done it before.

i guess what i am saying is.... i wish someone told me that i was gonna lose it at times even though i prayed and fought to become pregnant.

please fm me at anytiime. i totally get it xoxo and congrats!

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

also when you feel you are being judged...i am soooo proud this baby is from ivf! i tell people when they ask that we worked long and hard for this baby.....i havent had one person judge me..in fact they usually look at me in awe when they hear the stuff we had to go through. and more people that you know had to do if treatments so you never know xoxox

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

First off you need to RELAX!!!!!!! Everything will work out......its not going to be easy the first few months but trust me it will get better. I have to say the first 3 months was HELL....then it got better. Get as much help as you can....sleep when the babies sleep and everything will fall into place. Right now you need to take care of your body and eat right and rest as much as you can.....

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

To all, thank you so much for responding. I know Im a nervous wreck, as I usually am... Im just having SUCH a hard time adjusting to thought of this change and my hormones are going nutty.
You all have contributed to making me feel a little better. I do feel guilty, knowing what I have gone through and what many girls are going through. And 2 months ago if you asked me how id feel if I was pg with twins,, Id say "lucky, blessed, excited, thrilled" I jsut don't know why I can't see clearly right now.
I am feeling a little better today and am hoping that things start to calm down a little emotionally.

Keep the feedback coming if anyone else has advice... it really does help to hear from those who have been in my shoes. Glad to know Im not entirely crazy and that it will get better

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

Totally normal! We put 2 back so we knew it was a possibility but we were still shocked. I laugh now because back them I used to when people would say how surprised they were with twins when going through treatments cause duh! it's a possibilty. And then I was one of those people!!!!

Anyway when we first found out all DH kept telling the doctor was that our car wasn't big enough. We had a 2 door. He just kept repeating it and the dr. said he was still in shock-haha.

It's completely overwhelming but once you get over the shock, it really is such a blessing. Now I can't imagine my life without the 2 of them!

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

Aww. I'm sorry you're overwhelmed but big congrats!

Don't worry about what other people think. I for one am totally up-front about our baby being the result of IVF. I joke all the time about how DD looks just like DH and how they must have put too much sperm in the petri dish.

I'm not a holy-roller, but I do believe that God gives you what you can handle so he must feel that you are more than capable of being a great Mom to your twin babies. Just think how lucky your babies will be to have an instant sibling and that you won't have to worry about doing IVF ever again if your family is complete.

We put back three embryos and I was hoping for twins but God had other plans.

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

Posted by Dolphinsbaby

Totally normal! We put 2 back so we knew it was a possibility but we were still shocked. I laugh now because back them I used to when people would say how surprised they were with twins when going through treatments cause duh! it's a possibilty. And then I was one of those people!!!!

Anyway when we first found out all DH kept telling the doctor was that our car wasn't big enough. We had a 2 door. He just kept repeating it and the dr. said he was still in shock-haha.

It's completely overwhelming but once you get over the shock, it really is such a blessing. Now I can't imagine my life without the 2 of them!

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

Oh, totally normal. It is a BIG adjustment picturing your life with not one but 2 babies! What a rush! Give yourself time to get used to the idea- I honestly did not believe it for weeks. I'm just now feeling like ok I'm having 2 and it's really happening, haha. It takes time for something so big to sink in, don't feel like you have to be over the moon right away. And to be honest- I try not to think about life with twins and a toddler, because it just stresses me out. I know it will all work out and it will be great, but focusing on it and freaking out about it is not going to make it any easier.

You're going to do great. I got 3 twin books, and those have helped me feel more prepared. I too feel weird when someone asks me if twins run in my family and I say no. But whatever, it's not their business. I just LOVE the reaction when I tell people I'm having twins- its so great. You will love it when you get to that point! Enjoy!!

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

Totally normal to be overwhelmed!

When people asked me if twins run in my family, I would say, "They do now." That answer did the trick.

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

This has not happened to me, but I can understand why you were upset. It's scary! Everything. Twins are not easy, birthing them or raising them. My good friend has twins. You are so blessed, but it will take some getting used to. When my friend had twins I think I asked if it was natural. I realize now that I shouldn't even ask about running in the family or drugs. It's so personal. Honestly, you don't sound comfortable admitting the truth, so just lie. Say you don't know how it happened.
Everything will be great! Let's be honest, twins are so cute. And, they have an extremely special bond with eachother. It's a lifetime bond.

Re: completely overwhelmed and totally not myself

hey!!!
let me just tell you that EVERYTHING falls into place. You will be surprised how much you can do!!!

I was a small girl and gained 90lbs with my twin pregnancy... not to worry though it comes off almost as quickly as it goes on. when the girls were 9 months i was back to my pre-preg weight. Now im working on loosing the 10lbs i gained during my IF treatments.

When i found out we were having twins i was thrilled but scared at the same time. I was trying to think of how I will be able to handle two babies all alone. I have no help and no one lives around me for even a "break" but i managed.
You figure it out. I promise, especially since they are your 1st you wont know otherwise and you will make it work.

as far as telling strangers... do what you feel comfy with. twins are not ONLY a result of IF treatments. Sometimes they JUST HAPPEN!! My twins are 10 months old and I think only 1 person asked me if they were IVF and that was only cuz her daughter was undergoing IF treatments so she wanted to ask me questions.

DOnt be overwhelmed. everything will work out the way its supposed to.

Good luck and ENJOY your pregnancy.. its actually pretty cool. hard but cool.

Feel free to FM me if u want to talk