Advice needed - NYC to LI job

I need some advice please. I am considering a big shift in my career and I am torn in 2 directions.

I work in advertising in NYC as an art director and make a decent salary. I am the bread winner and hold the health insurance for myself, DH and DS. My company is large, lots of great benefits. The work is stressful beyond belief, the hours long and on occasion, weekend work. I am 35, and most people I work with are younger than I am and bounce around from company to company. I have been here 7 years.

I have a 1 year son and it's been hard to return to work after maternity leave. I find it's even harder now b/c he's learning/doing new things everyday. And because I feel like now he knows I'm not there. We are lucky to have my mother watch him. He eats dinner with my parents every night. My DH and I usually scarf down some take out around 8 and then my mom returns DS. We see him for about 2 hours before he goes to bed. But it's often not quality time. It's bath, prepping for the next day, bottle, PJs and bed.

I considering leaving NYC behind and taking an LI job. I had 2 interviews recently and I think at least 1 will extend an offer. The pros are the hours and commute. The cons are the money. At least $20K less I'm guessing. It will make things VERY tight each month. I'm very conflicted. I'm not sure what is best for family - being home for dinner each night, or being able to sock some $ away for DS's college.

Any advice is welcome. TIA.

Btw, if I had to go with my gut, it's pointing to LI, but my gut is not always logical.

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

I recently lost my job and am still concerned about not being able to pay the bills. However, it is amazing how much you can cut back - how much you waste now that you don't even realize. I don't think $20k will be as much of an adjustment as you think (I made much more than that, and the adjustment hasn't been too difficult). I'm still hoping to find a job as well, but when I do I am planning to save most of it and continue along as we are now.

I'd definitely go for the LI job - time with your family is precious and irreplaceable. You will find a way to get along with a little less money.

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

Will the new job offer promotion or career advancement opportunities? That's the key, IMHO.

I quit a job in the city to work for another smaller firm in LI (this was many years ago), I took a 12K pay cut but after 2 years, with raises, my salary was actually higher than when I was at the old job...so it can make the difference, 20K may be a small price to pay if you know they will bump you up every year thereafter.

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

Hmmm, I didn't really consider growth in an LI company. The 2 interviews I had recently said even with 20K less I would be at the ceiling as far as pay. I was hoping they would give me at least that. And then I was thinking if they couldn't maybe ask about other benefits that could even it out, like maybe more time off.

Thanks for the advice. I have more thinking to do. And since I posted I've been examining my monthly expenses. I think there some things I can definitely cut pack on, new job or not.

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

there is no right or wrong answer here. i would say go with your gut...but make sure you sat down and looked at your expenses to be certain you can afford a 20k pay cut. if you can afford it then go for it. seems like you may eventually want to make this shift anyway...prob wont want to commute to nyc your entire career and i think in all industries pay out side of nyc is less.

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

Would you be able to work part time, maybe four days a week, at your current job? How does 20% of pay compare to $20k?

While the commute will still be what it is, you'd do it less. And, keep in mind that LI jobs don't always come with short hours.

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

If this is a WWYD, I wouldn't leave a secure position to be at the ceiling of a new job paying $20K less.

Quality of life is key but in a bad economy, I'd be hesitant.

just as an FYI, I work in Manhattan, commute & have 2 kids. The commute will always suck but they will start to stay up later, you'll see them for longer, etc.

With 7 years at a company with a lot of tunrover & an offer in hand, I think it's worth approaching your current company with some time saving options. Working 4 days a week, working from home, leaving early a few days a week, etc.

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

Thank you all for the great ideas. Working 4 days sounds great, maybe it's something my company would be open to? I'll think about bringing that up. Maybe it might be worth it to suggest working 10 hours M-Th and off Friday.

You've all given me a lot to think about. I really appreciate all the advice!

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

I just went from a NYC job to a LI job and I love love love it! The lack of LIRR commute is by far the best benefit. I love that when I leave work, I am on my way home...not running to catch a train or wasting 20 minutes in Penn because I missed the train I wanted. I leave about 20 minutes later too, and it's the same thing - if I leave one minute late, I'm one minute late to work. If I left one minute late whilst working in the city, I could miss my train and be 20 minutes late for work. That's a big difference.

I took a pay cut too (10k) and honestly, I don't really feel it because my expenses went down. Sure I pay a lot more for gas now but It comes out to be about $100 cheaper/month vs a monthly ticket and a metrocard, plus I don't need my dog walker anymore.

There's a huge difference in my quality of life now. I say go for it if you can!

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

I went through the same thing a few years ago. I had a nice paying job plus bonuses at an investment bank in NYC but I was stressed beyond belief, traveled all the time, worked long hours (in office at 8am sometimes i would not get home till midnight). Eventually I wound up on LI in a different field. I make less now than my starting salary at my old job but my quality of life is 100x better. I also knew if I ever wanted a family it would be impossible to do with my old job since I would never see my kid. If you can swing it financially then i would go with the LI job if it means a better work/life balance. Good luck!

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

In 2010, I left a very secure and financially lucrative attorney position at a large Manhattan law firm to start a real estate career on Long Island (that is strictly commission based). It's been a huge financial change for us; however, the financial sacrifices/stress and cutting back have been 100% worth it for the quality of life that we've gained. I have a lot more time with my son, I am happier, and I'm less tired/stressed. I have more time to see friends and family and to entertain. It was tough with both me and DH commuting to the city and working long hours. Now, if DH gets home at a reasonable time, we can relax together, eat dinner, etc., and when he works late, he knows I am close by and can be there for our son if needed. I have more time to do errands (like grocery shopping) during the week, so our weekends can be spent on fun and family time.

That being said, I was offered and considered taking a job at a Nassau law firm, which would have eliminated the commute but still meant very long hours. I decided to pass on that and change careers completely. So now I am an independent agent with very flexibile hours that I can basically set myself (I don't have a boss to report to in the sense of what hours I work/how much I work), so my situation is a little different than a traditional "job." But if I had decided to keep practicing law, I don't know if I would've taken the big pay cut to work at the local firm just to eliminate the commute. Maybe.... but not sure.

But bottom line is that for me, the time and reduced stress was worth making a huge change and a significant reduction in income. My DH was on board, and it was a family decision, which I think was key. I feel like you can always make more money, but you can never get back time. But financial realities are a huge consideration, and I'd really crunch the numbers and make sure you can live (without being miserable and totally stressed) on a reduced income before you make a decision.

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job

I personally would be leaning towards the LI job. I work in NYC and really like it but I have no children. Even if I did have children, my job is family friendly and I do not bring home stress, work late or work weekends. I don't think I could work a hectic schedule in Manhattan, live in LI and have a child. I would either have to find a less stressful job in Manhattan, find a job in LI or move my family to Manhattan (I realize this isn't an option).

Is the job in LI low stress? Are the hours much better than what you have now? What about other benefits besides pay? How do the health benefits and premiums compare? What about retirement benefits? If the LI job offers more in terms of benefits, it makes the salary gap less than $20k, kwim?

Re: Advice needed - NYC to LI job