How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

I'm not ashamed of doing ivf at all but I just feel it's very personal. I don't feel like divulging my personal IF journey to every rude Tom, Richard and Harry who bluntly put me on the spot and ask.

My first reaction is to tell them off and tell them to mind heir own bees wax but I can't always do that.

Another patient at my dr office asked me today when I mentioned twins. I thought it was so rude but was in the spot so I admitted it. Then I felt like I really shouldn't have had to do that.

I always assume twins are IF related but that's because most people I know excel a few are IF. But I'd never ever ask.

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

Some people I will tell if I am close with them or if I feel like they are asking for the right reason (ie going through IF themself)

Some people I will just lie too! Especially strangers...I make up stories..."yes they are in our family blah blah blah" and I move on. When my mom is with me she has a hard time not laughing with some of the stories I make up

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

I need to moe up a story. This annoying girl goes on to say she told her DH they should have just did ivf for twins so they had a one shot deal. Yea honey. That's why I spent my life's savings on it. (definitely a perk but obviously wouldn't do it just for twins). Then I really really regretted telling her.

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

i didn't do IVF, but did need some fertility meds to help conceive. I have never been asked straight out if we did IVF, but everyone always asks "Do twins run in your family?", which to me feels like an indirect way of asking if we had fertility help. I am not embarrassed to admit it but I feel like the question is rude, so when it's people that I don't know I just brush it off or say yes they run in my family.

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

I hate nosey people, everyone actually assumes that I did fertility treatments. I did a round of IUI with my first set of twins and now I'm pregnant (spontaneously) with another set. I just tell strangers no.. some of my family members know the truth.. but I feel like this is such a personal question. Would you go over to someone and ask if they had a nose job or a boob job?!

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

I've been wanting to respond to someone "No, but in fact we conceived doggie style since your asking" but I haven't gotten the nerve.

It is so not anyone's business. I hate when that question comes up.

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

Almost every stranger, co worker neighbor has asked me this. My twins were a natural fluke but I think it's crazy how many people think its ok to ask. If you don't want to give out private info just tell them.... it was a surprise.... Because IVF or natural it's always a surprise to end up with multiples.

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

Posted by julz33

Posted by sunflowerjesss

I've been wanting to respond to someone "No, but in fact we conceived doggie style since your asking" but I haven't gotten the nerve.

It is so not anyone's business. I hate when that question comes up.

please use that answer

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

These are cracking up. I am definitely using the "we had sex twice in one night". It will leave them dumbfounded. Like can that really happen

I'm open with friends about it so it's never anyone I know or who has any business asking.

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

Posted by allIwant

I have also been temped to say.... "No we just had sex twice in one night"

Omg... Now THAT is a response!!!

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

Well I am a twin and had twins but I did IVF. I always get wow twins run in the family huh, but dont they skip a generation?

Sometimes I tell them the truth other times I say well we had to do IVF. It is personal and people ask ALL THE TIME!

I do not mind sharing my story because I know it has helped people, but sometimes I do not want to talk about it.

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

Posted by allIwant

Some people I will tell if I am close with them or if I feel like they are asking for the right reason (ie going through IF themself)

Some people I will just lie too! Especially strangers...I make up stories..."yes they are in our family blah blah blah" and I move on. When my mom is with me she has a hard time not laughing with some of the stories I make up

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

I have gotten asked if Triplets run in my family...and I respond NO but twins do...which is not a lie and I was only suppose to be having twins until the found#3 at week 11.....

Close friends and family all know I did IVF as well as people I work with and I have no issues telling them that or discusing it with them. I Thank God everyday that I was so lucky to only have to to one round of IVF and get my kids who are all healthy and happy kids....

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

i think it is such a rude question (among many people ask) but really???!!!!

and i respond (surprised they ask) "um yea, it was natural... just by chance" and kind of give them a crappy look

i understand many do IVF and if you did, its great that you had such great success, and such a blessing to have 2 or 3... but its so not anyone's business to ask that... and im actually insulted people do ask me.

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

i did ivf to concieve my twins

people usually ask do twins run in the family,
i always say yes, my cousin has twins (also ivf, they don't know that) and my dh's uncles were twins (natural)

but it really depends on who is asking, that is what i tell complete strangers, almost everyone i know on a personal level, friends, many coworkers, know we needed to do ivf

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

I rarely get asked directly if they are a result of IVF (which they are) but get the more subtle "oh so twins run in your family?" and I used to say "Oh they do now!"

But at this point I've lost a bit of patience and have moved on to replying "My husband and I are just really into efficiency".

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

I've been thinking about how i am going to respond to this for days now.... thanks for all of the tips! DH's dad is an identical twin and my great grandma had 3 sets of twins.... so I guess they do run in the family!

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?

A lot of people, especially men , ask if twins run in the family. Most of the time I say "we had help" and that usually keeps the questions at bay.
I am very open about my IF journey, but everyone is different. I also will tell someone that my shirt cost $2 if they compliment it, so that is just how I am.
I have found that by opening up, soooo many people have then shared their journey with me. And I feel that talking about it is very therapeutic. It almost validates my journey and makes me feel like an advocate of some sort.

Re: How do you handle the "oh twins? Did you do ivf" question?