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Ann456
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 309 total posts
Name:
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Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
Just wondering if anyone has a souse that is a volunteer fireman? What are your thoughts about them being involved? My DH is and I'm not liking it.
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Posted 6/12/12 9:01 PM  |
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NewLeaf2012
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 2741 total posts
Name:
....
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
Hubby has been one for 30 years and I was one for 10 years. I am thinking of getting back into it.. It really isn't that bad. What don't you like about it?
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| Posted 6/12/12 9:21 PM |
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apwmjc
Love my little man
Member since 12/10 1901 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
My dh is both a city fireman & volunteer fireman. It doesn't bother me at all. What are you not liking?
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| Posted 6/12/12 9:54 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
I was a volunteer EMT and am thinking about doing it again. What is it you don't like about it? The potential of being in a dangerous situation? Having to leave for calls during the night or holidays, etc?
Think about how he is doing such an incredible service. Without people like him who would respond when our house is on fire?
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| Posted 6/13/12 12:03 AM |
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Ann456
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 309 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
Most of the guys in his firehouse are over 55 or 25 and under and do not get it that DH has a house, a 2.5 year old and another one on the way. As for the house, there is some work he has been trying to get done. He rarely asked for help to move a piece of furniture and one guy who is over 60 offered ( but how do you expect him to lift when he is also overweight and diabetic). The other guy who is 25 refused to. There is no team/brother feeling. DH has also been completing all the training courses which is time consuming since he is new. To sum it up the other guys are either too young with no serious responsibilities, work 10 minutes from the home, or or government employees who do not work long hours. DH works on the upper East side of Manhattan.
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| Posted 6/13/12 6:40 AM |
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Ann456
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 309 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
Posted by SweetTooth
I was a volunteer EMT and am thinking about doing it again. What is it you don't like about it? The potential of being in a dangerous situation? Having to leave for calls during the night or holidays, etc?
Think about how he is doing such an incredible service. Without people like him who would respond when our house is on fire?
Not all and with the lame people in his house, he may never see a fire because the older guys do not respond so there is never enough to handle a real fire.
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| Posted 6/13/12 6:41 AM |
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2boys4me
He's coming soon!
Member since 4/10 4260 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
I know what you are going through EXACTLY and felt really guilty about hating what he was doing because I know it's such a wonderful thing to be a volunteer and help people like that BUT it was the wrong time for DH to join. I found out I was pregnant a month after he joined and we were moving. He had to go to all those classes that were out in Yapank on top of having to respond to way more calls then non probation members because he was new so he had to keep a certain percentage. When he would say "hey let me just do this one call" it would turn into him being gone for 3 hours or more sometimes because a call would go out while they were out and he would have no choice then whether he was going to the call. It wasn't so bad when I was pregnant but after I had DS it was rough because he was gone so much. We also had the issue with things needing to get done around the house...the lawn, general cleaning, grocery store, etc etc and those things were falling by the way side because he was gone SO much. Like your DH, DS was the ONLY probie with a family. All of the other probies were very young and the other guys in the house joined when they were young as well, before they had families unless they were much older guys who joined and they didn't need to do as many classes and stuff because they were mostly only fire police. The only difference between your DH and mine is that I must say the bond between the men was great. When we had DS they came over with a gift and just to say congrats. He helped some of the younger men get a job at his work, for the baptism we could borrow the chairs, guys helped him with stuff and he helped others. It was a nice feeling of brotherhood and helping each other out.
DH had to resign because probation is 2 years and although he was able to keep up the percentage with the calls, he wasn't able to get all the classes in. In the two years he was a probie we moved TWICE both while I was pregnant, we thought the first place was great to save money and get ready for baby but it turned out to have a huge mold and insect problem and our landlord was a jerk so we had to move 6 months later when I was 9 months pregnant, we had DS, my dad died 2 months after DS was born and I was the head of the estate so we had to take care of and keep up TWO homes, clean out his house, sell it, and do all the other things involved with the estate, and DH's good friend died. It was a ROUGH two years all while starting with the fire dept. I'm surprised he did the classes that he did complete. As much as I hated him being away from home SO much the first year of DS' life, I was sad when he had to resign because I knew he liked it so much and I was so proud of him for being so selfless and helping out and loving it so much. He resigned in such a way that he can rejoin when things calm down a bit. Now we have 2 boys, have been in this house for awhile but with the two boys we are outgrowing it and moving into a larger, permanent home this weekend and I'm just getting over being really sick so now isn't the time either but maybe in a year a two he can join again and it won't be so rough.
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| Posted 6/13/12 8:33 AM |
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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
DH has been a volunteer for almost 20 years and is now Captain. He loves it, and it's good for him, so I'm all for it. We've made wonderful friends from the firehouse. It is stressful though sometimes because he has a lot of responsibility as a Captain. He's always on the phone handling issues, has meetings and what not. But we make it work.
ETA: Just saw your second post. In the beginning, expectations are high. They have to do a lot of trainings and really need to make an effort to be involved. But once they come off probation it's not as bad. If it's not something your DH loves and he's too busy to make the requirements right now, maybe now is not the time for him to be in the department.
Message edited 6/13/2012 8:43:02 AM.
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| Posted 6/13/12 8:39 AM |
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Ann456
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 309 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
Posted by 2boys4me
I know what you are going through EXACTLY and felt really guilty about hating what he was doing because I know it's such a wonderful thing to be a volunteer and help people like that BUT it was the wrong time for DH to join. I found out I was pregnant a month after he joined and we were moving. He had to go to all those classes that were out in Yapank on top of having to respond to way more calls then non probation members because he was new so he had to keep a certain percentage. When he would say "hey let me just do this one call" it would turn into him being gone for 3 hours or more sometimes because a call would go out while they were out and he would have no choice then whether he was going to the call. It wasn't so bad when I was pregnant but after I had DS it was rough because he was gone so much. We also had the issue with things needing to get done around the house...the lawn, general cleaning, grocery store, etc etc and those things were falling by the way side because he was gone SO much. Like your DH, DS was the ONLY probie with a family. All of the other probies were very young and the other guys in the house joined when they were young as well, before they had families unless they were much older guys who joined and they didn't need to do as many classes and stuff because they were mostly only fire police. The only difference between your DH and mine is that I must say the bond between the men was great. When we had DS they came over with a gift and just to say congrats. He helped some of the younger men get a job at his work, for the baptism we could borrow the chairs, guys helped him with stuff and he helped others. It was a nice feeling of brotherhood and helping each other out.
DH had to resign because probation is 2 years and although he was able to keep up the percentage with the calls, he wasn't able to get all the classes in. In the two years he was a probie we moved TWICE both while I was pregnant, we thought the first place was great to save money and get ready for baby but it turned out to have a huge mold and insect problem and our landlord was a jerk so we had to move 6 months later when I was 9 months pregnant, we had DS, my dad died 2 months after DS was born and I was the head of the estate so we had to take care of and keep up TWO homes, clean out his house, sell it, and do all the other things involved with the estate, and DH's good friend died. It was a ROUGH two years all while starting with the fire dept. I'm surprised he did the classes that he did complete. As much as I hated him being away from home SO much the first year of DS' life, I was sad when he had to resign because I knew he liked it so much and I was so proud of him for being so selfless and helping out and loving it so much. He resigned in such a way that he can rejoin when things calm down a bit. Now we have 2 boys, have been in this house for awhile but with the two boys we are outgrowing it and moving into a larger, permanent home this weekend and I'm just getting over being really sick so now isn't the time either but maybe in a year a two he can join again and it won't be so rough.
Well luckily, DH has a job with a generous vacation schedule so he is taking two weeks off from work to do the last of his training. Then he will be off of probation in July. The older guys knock him because he is not around so much. They don't get it or are purposely knocking him as peer pressure to get him to come more. He does once in a while get to joke around with men which can be an outlet for him that I like and he wants to stick with it because of the tax break (small but every little bit counts). Also , he is hoping it will build connections in the Village since things are so political out here in Nassau - sure in Suffolk too!
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| Posted 6/13/12 8:46 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
My DH is now an honorary member since we moved out of Lindenhurst- but he has been iinvolved for 10 years. He hasn't ridden the truck in a little over a year now- but when we lived locally he was always running out. I hated it.
Now that he just goes to moneymakers and meetings- it's much more tolerable. 
ETA: I think it's a great thing- when there's a balance between family life/work/FD. With DH- he couldn't seem to find that balance. I was feeling like the FD came first- no matter what. I couldn't deal with being pushed down on the priority list.
I think this is more a matter of issues with DH than the FD itself- although it is demanding and many of the members are single or retired.
Message edited 6/13/2012 12:17:29 PM.
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| Posted 6/13/12 12:11 PM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
My DH is a voluteer Firefighter and EMT. He has 13 yrs into the dept.
I really don't have any problem with him responsding. The problem for him is that there are only so many times when he can respond- he works a lot, etc.
I'm very proud of what he does. Maybe if you see firsthand. Again I'm not sure what your husbands experience has been but when my DH comes home from an actual fire, and is so pumped up and covered in smoke I can't help but be in awe of him. Or when he was given an award because of his response to a cardiac arrest call where he saved someones life.
It might be different becuse the fire department was also a part of my DH's life, so I knew going in it was important where as you are adjusting to this new lifestyle after being together.
Hope you'll be able to work it out so you can both be happy!
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| Posted 6/13/12 1:13 PM |
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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
Posted by JandJ1224
It might be different becuse the fire department was also a part of my DH's life, so I knew going in it was important where as you are adjusting to this new lifestyle after being together.
Hope you'll be able to work it out so you can both be happy!
I think this is very true. If this was new to me now, I probably wouldn't put up with half of it. DH became Captain right after we found out I was pregnant and it was hard when we had the baby. I remember him being on the phone handling something 5 minutes before my c-section and me yelling at him to get off the phone. BUT, because it's soemthing he's done and loved since he was a kid and I knew when I married him that he ultimately wants to be Chief, I make it work. It's really a lifestyle that affects our entire family, not just him.
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| Posted 6/13/12 2:44 PM |
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Mdolph6
So in Love....
Member since 3/07 1622 total posts
Name:
A Family of 4
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
Hubby is one and has been for 10 years already...I met him after he had already joined....at times it bothers me but he doesnt get involved in all the Bull which is good. Plus my father and my brother also are so growing up around it I think Im pretty used to most things.
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| Posted 6/13/12 3:28 PM |
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chickiemom
LOVE my boys!!
Member since 10/09 1473 total posts
Name:
Leanne
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
my dh is for 20 years now and is captain as well. i'm just to it i guess. i do get annoyed sometimes when i need him home some nights and he has to go to a "meeting". But I don't mind it and my son loves to go see the firetrucks all the time.. Also came in handy when we got into an accident when 9 months preggo with #2. And if used wisely to your advantag you can get some discounts on certain things.
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| Posted 6/13/12 3:45 PM |
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Ann456
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 309 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
Posted by JandJ1224
My DH is a voluteer Firefighter and EMT. He has 13 yrs into the dept.
I really don't have any problem with him responsding. The problem for him is that there are only so many times when he can respond- he works a lot, etc.
I'm very proud of what he does. Maybe if you see firsthand. Again I'm not sure what your husbands experience has been but when my DH comes home from an actual fire, and is so pumped up and covered in smoke I can't help but be in awe of him. Or when he was given an award because of his response to a cardiac arrest call where he saved someones life.
It might be different becuse the fire department was also a part of my DH's life, so I knew going in it was important where as you are adjusting to this new lifestyle after being together.
Hope you'll be able to work it out so you can both be happy!
I am not saying I am not proud ... just the men do not understand he works in Manhattan and has a house we just bought 3.5 years ago. Only one guy I think relates. He is also staying with it and will be off probation in July when he finishes a major chunk of his training.
Message edited 6/13/2012 7:18:28 PM.
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| Posted 6/13/12 7:17 PM |
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fdnywife
Mommy of 3 and 4 rescues
Member since 9/09 1841 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone have a spouse who is a volunteer fireman?
Honestly DH is a city fireman and I HATE their schedule AND all the events they "need to do", I know the volunteers also have a lot of events and things going on. I have spoken to DH numerous time. Tell the guys you CANT, you need to watch the kids or whatever and I guess he feels he needs to do it all. IDK. I think it would be great it they could spend more time at home.
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| Posted 7/16/12 6:41 PM |
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